Edge of Seventeen // Stevie Nicks

Marisol

August is the perfect month for a break up. First off, there's no impending holidays to suffer through–because let's face it, getting shitfaced on labor day is already a given so no one would blink twice. Bonus for me, my birthday is months away. By the time it rolls around I'd be over the heartbreak and ready to face another year older. Nothing about August screams heartbreak for anyone.

Of course, I'm the exception.

But then again, I have been since birth.

"Danny broke up with me," I say, blurting the news to my co-worker, Holly. She looks up from the patient chart she's working on with wide eyes.

"Oh Mari, I'm so sorry."

I shrug. "It was bound to end. Danny wasn't the one."

Saying the words shouldn't hurt. It's a reality I've lived with for years. I won't ever find "the one" so losing a guy who isn't my destiny never shocks me. I know before we begin there'll be an expiration date. I'm just glad Danny decided to end things now before we had time to pretend we were more.

But it still stings. Even in August, which is already the darkest month of the year for me.

Every evil I've experienced has happened during the sunniest time of year. And every year, on August 1st, the darkness I've shoved down as far as possible comes bubbling back up.

So yeah, August is a great breakup month. Shove all the heartache into one time frame. Get it over with. And bonus points to me, because breaking up with someone during the eighth month of the year would be the least bad thing that's happened to me in August.

"Your shift just ended," Holly, says. "Go home and drink some tea. Take a bubble bath. And call me if you need to talk."

Holly is one of my best friends, not just someone I work at the rehab hospital with. But I've never let my hidden darkness out for her to see. She has no idea that a break up like this doesn't rattle me. I hardly feel it the way most girls would. Instead, my heart goes numb.

I should be alarmed at the numbness but that wouldn't be very "survivors guilt" of me, would it.

"I'll be okay. I have to stop at the shop on my way home anyway. Javi sent something for Grinder."

My brother, who happens to be dating a Hollywood actress, sent a bunch of movie memorabilia to the house but specified a few signed items for our family friend's tattoo shop.

"What it must be like to live in the spotlight..." Holly says with a shake of her head. "I don't know how Javi does it. Growing up in Fallbrook is light years away from Hollywood life."

I smile wistfully. Holly would hate it. She's too sweet. Too kind. And too quiet for that lifestyle. I love his girlfriend, Emily, who's the opposite of a spoiled movie star princess no matter what the tabloids say. But there's no way I could put up with the scrutiny she and my brother deal with. If I couldn't do it, neither could Holly. Because she's more like me than she realizes.

Holly and I bonded in ways she will never know. She lived under the thumb of her father until a few years ago when his dark side came out of hiding. Now he's in jail for trafficking people across the country, something I was well acquainted with before I was adopted into Javi's family. Our mom took me in and never asked me to share my trauma, even though she knows more than she lets on. I wasn't a little kid when she adopted me. I knew the hell I'd escaped. Mom knew as well. But she loved me through it, letting me open up at my own pace. And letting me bury the worst parts so I never had to relive them.

Even she doesn't know how dark August got for me all those years ago. I refuse to put her through it. Mom's been through enough, herself, after the way she lost her husband.

"Anyway, tell Jackson I'm going straight home when I'm done here in an hour," Holly says about her boyfriend who also works at the tattoo shop as their bookkeeper. "I don't have the energy to stop by Blue Bloods tonight. Those boys talk longer and louder than any girl group I've ever been in. My ears start to hurt after ten minutes."

"So true." I laugh, glad that she lightened the mood. Now I can leave with a smile and look halfway normal. Maybe no one will notice how numb I've gone today. Holly has no idea the turmoil stirring inside of me has nothing to do with a breakup and everything to do with my past coming back to haunt me. I have no intention to let it show.

Twenty minutes later, I park out front of Blue Bloods Tattoo in the heart of old town Fallbrook Hills. What used to be a run down and forgotten section of town, dirty and riddled with crime, has been revitalized with restaurants and bars. Now it's a destination even the snobs of Fallbrook will frequent.

Grabbing the box of signed photos, I make my way to the door but can't quite open it with my hands full. Knocking on the glass with my elbow, I snag Butch's attention. Butch is a Blue Bloods staple, almost always at his front desk post ready to greet clients and talk your ear off. He was an original member of the Bitter Reapers motorcycle club along with the shop owner, Grinder. But they've long since gone legit, opening the shop here, and an auto mechanic shop next door.

Plus, they still look out for all of us. I'm pretty sure they'd put their life on the line to save any one of us if the situation called for it.

They're the one reason I still live in town: Security.

"Well, hey there, Mari. What ya got there?" Butch asks as he peeks into my open box. His mouth drops a little, not ashamed in the least for snooping right in front of me.

"Javi sent some signed pictures of Emily and Jacob." Both actors have gotten tattoos at the shop, but only Jacob's is on display, a line of text from his first movie. According to Javi, Emily's tattoo is only for his eyes, whatever that means. And even though I know what it means, I don't want to think of my brother in any position where someone's tattoo is hidden from everyone but him.

Eeewwww.

But I do love Emily. She's the perfect girl for my older brother. The one.

Something I recognize in others but will never have for myself.

"That's awful nice of him. Grinder will be happy to hang these up for the town to see." Butch looks back up at me. "Should I call him out here? He's napping on the old couch in the storage room."

I wrinkle my nose at the thought. "How does he sleep on that thing? It's got to smell like dirt by now."

Butch shrugs. "Don't know. He doesn't say and I'm not allowed to sleep on it."

That stupid, ugly couch has seen its fair share of couch surfers over the years. Jackson slept there when he first moved to town. That was before he and Holly reconnected and fell in love. Grinder's godson, Brax, slept there when he came back, too.

"Well, don't wake the guy. Old men like him need their sleep."

"Aw he's not that old. 'Bout the same age as me."

I look Butch up and down. The man has aged a bit, but he's also lost a ton of weight recently and made his health a priority. I grew up seeing him unkempt and kind of sad. Ever since Jackson, his son, moved back here, it's like he found the fountain of youth.

"But you're looking real good these days, Butch. Much better than that old grouch."

"I know you aren't talking about me," Grinder says as he strides down the hall from the back room.

"Just my luck you wake up when I'm gossiping. Were your ears burning?" I laugh.

"No, my back was hurting. And I wasn't sleeping back there. I was cleaning the storage room." Grinder grabs the clipboard with tonight's schedule, looking it over before dropping it back on the desk. He looks at Butch. "You knew that's what I was doing, dufus."

I watch the two old friends needle each other.

"Oh, I was just having fun. You know you like a good siesta now and then."

"I slept my life away before I married Julia because there wasn't nothing to look forward to." He smacks Butch on the shoulder. "A good woman will bring a man back to life. A good family will do the same."

My numb heart aches at Grinder's words. He's right. I have a great family now. My dark August days are a thing of the past. Danny can go suck an egg and I can remember that my past is behind me. I don't have to be chained to my trauma now that I've found people who love me, protect me, and will keep me safe at all costs.

"Truer words have never been spoken," Butch says, grinning. He's a changed man with his son back in his life. Grinder found the woman of his dreams after decades surviving on his own. He loves her two kids as his own. And he has his godson, Brax. The two of them are as close as a father and son, anyway.

"What lit a fire under you today, Grind?" Butch asks. "You haven't cleaned out that old storage space in years."

"Got a new employee riding the couch for a few months. Just hired him this morning but he didn't have a place to stay in town and no funds to secure one. I offered the couch. A right of passage so to speak. Thought it would do him good."

I let the two old guys shoot the shit while I reach into the box to grab the photos for Grinder. I've got the first one out of the box when the door chimes as someone enters the shop.

"Perfect timing, Guy," Grinder says.

Guy? My heart thunders in my chest at the odd name. Setting the picture back in the box, I try to steady myself. But every cell in my body is screaming, "danger." The rational part of my brain tells me to calm down, I'm being stupid. But that name is too familiar.

I don't turn around when Grinder makes the introductions.

"Guy, this is Butch, the guy I told you about this morning. He'll ask a million questions on repeat and air your business to every client that steps through our door so keep your private things private. Know what I mean?"

I suck in a breath at the slight chuckle sounding behind me.

"I'll consider that a warning."

His deep voice reverberates through my body. I need to turn around because standing still with my back to him looks damn rude. But I can't seem to get myself to move.

"And this suddenly shy one," Grinder taps my shoulder, "is Mari. I told you about her brother, Javier. The bodyguard out in Hollywood." Grinder reaches past me to grab the photo of Emily out of the box. "And he must have sent the signed pictures I asked for. This is his girlfriend, Emily Montano."

"The actress?" Guy asks, his voice sending chills across my body.

"The very one. She and Javi got some ink here a while back."

"Nice. You get many celebrities here?"

"Not in Fallbrook Hills," Grinder laughs. "But with Javi in those circles it could happen now and then. But don't get stars in your eyes if they do. Clients are clients. We treat 'em all the same."

"Of course."

"Mari, say hello to Guy." Grinder bumps my shoulder, a clear sign of his irritation with my odd behavior.

Holding my breath, I turn around to face the man who's set off every alarm bell in my psyche before I even laid eyes on him.

And when we are face to face, I understand why.

"Hi, Mari," he says. I don't think I imagine the thread of anger mixed with confusion I hear in his voice.

"Hi," I say, breathless with fear.

Because my darkest August moment just walked through the door into my peaceful new reality.

And I can't tell a soul who he is.

I'm back and it feels damn good to have this story rolling. I struggled with the opening so hard, but I think it's because our morally grey hero, Guy, has been keeping secrets from me. I'm starting to peel away his layers though so I'm hopeful. Plus, anytime Grinder hits a scene, the writing is smooth as butter. Something about that grump gets to me!

Inevitable leaves Wattpad on October 1, so get those reads in before it's gone!

I love the vibes of this song, and I think it feels like the turmoil in Mari's head. She's hiding so much from everyone!

https://youtu.be/UmPgMc3R8zg

Happy reading!