Christina's POV

I had just left the house. Left Luke there. After all of that. I was mad. Mad for sleeping with him and mad for running off. I didn't know what I was angry for most. The sleeping part of the running off part. My whole body had wanted to stay there, but I just couldn't. I panicked and got the hell out of there. What woud they think of me? They didn't have to know. Luke wouldn't tell them. I was sure. But then again. He looked hurt when I'd left. I knew he really loved me, but I had to leave, for myself. I had gotten myself another fix of the Luke Hemmings drug I craved so much. But in such an enormous dose. I was an idiot. A big idiot.

When I got home I was tired again. My head was spinning, I needed sleep. But in a few hours I was meeting Will. I had just slept with Luke, how could I ever face him? I mean, it was not like we were dating. But it wasn't fair to Will. I knew I was using him to get over Luke, but he really was a nice guy. And he seemed to like me. Man, I was a bitch. Since when did I use people and sleep with people without being together. Okay, we had been a couple once. But that was no excuse. We didn't have sex when we were together. I was full of self loathing.

I decided to get a shower. I needed to wash this off. And then I needed to think about what I had to do. Should I be honest with Will and tell him that we couldn't date because Luke was still in the picture? Or should I continue with this? Minus the sleeping with Luke part. That was never going to happen again. I promised myself it never would. I hated myself for doing such a stupid thing. But I had been there too. I had wanted it as much as him. And I had as much say in it as he did. We were both guilty of that crime. But I hadn't had the will to stop.

God, I needed to get this out of my system. I hopped in the shower and just let it all wash over me.

When I got out I had a text from Michael.

'Can we meet up later?' he asked me.

'Yeah! What about in an hour? And man, you're up early!' I texted back with a lot of smiley faces.

'Haha, I do get up before noon sometimes! And yea, I just really want to see you! Do I pick you up? I'm getting a new tattoo..' he told me.

I had wanted a tattoo for so long. I decided to go with him and get one myself. I couldn't swim with it just yet, but Will could give me lessons on the sand if he wanted to.

'I'm coming with! I want one too! Turning over a new leaf..'

'YEAH! Matching ones?' he asked me, I knew he was kidding.

'Naah, man. That's super gay!'

'Hey.. :('

'I'll see you in one hour!'

I got ready and played with Stella some more. My little girl had gone through so much.

The door bell rang and I let Mikey in. He hugged me and I took in his smell. He always smelled like lavender. Weird, for such a punk rock guy. Who am I kidding? Michael was not punk rock, not even close. He was a kitten who wanted to be cuddled.

"You ready?!" he asked me. He was excited.

"YES!" I yelled and Sarah got out of her room.

"What the hell are you yelling about this early?" she asked. Her eyes were so sleepy.

"It's not early.. And we're getting tattoos.." I told her with excitement in my voice.

"Oh, wow. Ehm, enjoy yourself.." and she got back inside her room.

We walked out and we were going on foot.

"Do you never drive anywhere?" I asked him.

"Nah, such good weather.. It's nice to walk.." he said to me, but he was distracted.

"What's wrong?" I tried to look in his eyes.

He just averted them and started playing with the edge of his shirt. He did this when he was nervous. Normally he did this with his long sleeves, but he didn't have any because it was way too hot to wear that here.

"Ehm, Chris. We kinda need to talk.." he said while lifting his head to meet my eyes.

He looked really conflicted.

"Ehm, okay? What about Mikey? You know you can ask me anything!"

"Well, you know. After you guys broke up I was there to pick up the pieces and believe me. It's not something I would like to do again. Not because I don't want to be your friend anymore, but because it was awful to see you like that. To see you so.. broken I think is the right word for it. You looked empty without him. And now you're here and you see each other again. I know he kissed you that night and that's he's still so in love with you", he paused. "Well, fuck it. I know you guys had sex this morning. I mean, it was hard not to hear.. And Stella snuck in to my room so.. I don't want you to feel embarrassed. But, you need to be careful. I know what him leaving you means.. I don't ever want to see you like that again. And I know for a fact he won't survive it either.."

"But we're not back together.." I whispered.

Michael just stood there and looked at me. I was blushing so hard. I was so red. I just knew it. And he was staring at me like I was a rare animal.

"Say something?" I begged him. Not able to look in his eyes.

"It's just.. I really don't want to go through all of this again.." he told me, and he looked like he was in great pain.

"I know.. I don't want to go through all of it again too. It's just that he's got such a strong hold on me.. He's like a drug I can't escape from.." I told him with a little voice. 

"I know, I know." And he embraced me. 

He knew what I was going through. He had been there all the time, right beside me. 

"Ugh, I hate how this is all playing out.." 

"Yeah, me too.. But aren't you like dating someone?" he suddenly asked me. 

"Well, kinda.." 

"CHRISTINA!" he slapped my arm and his mouth formed a perfect 'O'. 

"I know.." I was almost on the verge of crying.. 

"Oh, come on. It'll work out!" 

And we were on our way. When we got there I had decided what to get. 

A few hours later we emerged and we got out. I was very proud of us both. I hadn't cried even when I had wanted to. And Michael had been tough too. I was happy for us both. It was curious how good I felt around Michael. He was such a kitten. Again. I was comparing him to a cat. But seriously. He was a kitten. 

We went back to my place because I had to get dressed for my 'date' with Will. I could not forget about that. As we were walking home I realized Michael was avoiding the topic of Luke. I knew what he had meant with it all. I should think with my head and not my heart. But my head tended to refuse to co-operate whenever Luke was around. All I could ever think about then was us. I needed to get over that. 

"So I'll see you tonight? I'll bring pizza!" he said and I agreed. We would be watching a movie tonight. 

As we said goodbye Sarah walked down the stairs. She must've heard me coming. She was looking at me with that look she had whenever it was about Luke these days. 

"What?" I asked her, pulling up my shoulders.

"You dare ask me that question?" she arched an eyebrow. 

"Jeez! Did Luke tell the whole fucking planet?" I lifted my hands in defeat.

"What were you thinking?" she practically yelled at me.

"Let's talk about this inside.. I don't want all my neighbors to know too. But I'm sure Luke will tell them too.." 

Damn, did everyone know? Did Luke tell them all? Or did they just notice? Ugh, I hated this. As if I didn't hate myself enough already. 

As we walked up the stairs she kept throwing me foul looks. 

"Stop it." was all I told her. And she did. 

As we got inside I sat down on the couch and she just stood there watching me. 

"Seriously what were you thinking?" she asked me again. But on a more normal tone.

"I wasn't?" I asked her. 

"Clearly.. So are you two..?" 

"Nope.. That was the last time.." 

"Oh.. I really want to believe you, but it's hard.. I know you keep running back to him.."

"HEY I didn't actually run there on purpose! I didn't even know where the boys lived!" I cried out.

"Okay, okay.. But what about Will?" 

"What about him?"

"Are you still going to date him?" she asked me, already knowing the answer.

"Yes.. I'm meeting up with him in a few.." I told her while getting up. I was done with this interrogation. 

"You know. I'd love to see you and Luke back together.. But just think this all through okay? And you can always talk to me.." 

"I know, you're my best friend." And I smiled at her. She stepped closer and we hugged. 

That was what I needed. Someone who would not butt in, but just listen. I headed over to get ready and I was done in a few. I still had plenty of time to get to the beach.

"Wanna see my tat?" I asked Sarah. 

"YEAH!" and she looked at my shoulder. 

It was an arrow. Yes a lot of girls got that. But it was so amazing. And an arrow means you can only go forward.

"Wow.. I want one too!" she told me and she clapped her hands. 

"We'll go tomorrow! Calum will so dig that!" I laughed. 

He would like it. He liked tattoos so much and always pushed Sarah to get one. But she never would. 

"I have to go now.." I told her and she walked me down.

"Have fun!" she screamed after me like an excited Mom.

The walk there was so nice. The weather here was amazing. I wasn't used to this much sun and a beach so nearby. I loved every second of it. On my way there I saw so many people. It was amazing to see how many people lived here. It was a lot like New York. I missed NY soo much, but I had to live with it. I was starting to feel at home here now. When I arrived at the beach Will was already there. I still had plastic on my back for my tattoo and he noticed. 

"You got a tattoo?" he was excited.

"Yeah. I decided it was time!" I told him while winking. 

He hugged me and I kissed his cheek. He took my elbow and we went to the beach. He had hauled two surfboard there. I had no idea how he had gotten those here. 

"How did you even get that here?" I asked him while wrapping my hand around his arm.

"Well, one of your friends helped me! He saw me on the street and decided to help me! Oh, here he is!" Will told me. 

I looked up from Will and saw Luke standing there.. 

What the hell was he doing here?? 

"Hello, Chris, nice to see you again", he said while winking.