Christina's POV

Yeah, I needed to go out with Will again. 

"Hi!" I heard someone say on the other side of the line. 

"Hi, Will!" I said to him. 

"Well, aren't you all jolly", he said, sarcastically. 

"Sorry, had a long day.. Did I tell you I was actually hung over today?" 

"No! And you still looked amazing.. You should see me whit a hang over, you'll never want to see me, ever, again. I'm serious.." 

"Will, come on. You always look good man!" 

"You wish, if you only knew what time it took to look that way. I'm worse than any girl!" he laughed. 

I thought back to another guy who took really long to do his hair. But I shouldn't be doing that. I was torturing myself. 

"Haha! So wanna meet up again tomorrow?" I asked him. I heard him laugh on the other side of the line. 

"Yeah! I could teach you how to surf? If you're in LA you should be able to surf!" I laughed.

I was so uncoördinated. I would fall on my face so many times.

"Okay!" I was going to embarrass myself. But hey, he was going to get to know the real me. 

We said goodnight and I fell asleep right away. 

"I couldn't be happier than I am right now.." I hear him say. 

I turn around and take in the beautiful sight he is. His blonde hair is wet and hanging in his face. His blue eyes have that naughty look they always have when he looks at me. I love the way they do that. He can make me feel so amazing. So wanted. He walks toward me, closing the distance. He puts his arms around me and pulls me in for a hug. 

"I mean what I say. I am so happy to have you", he says in my ear. 

Shivers go down my spine. I feel his touch. And it awakens my body. I look up and find him staring at me. I know the desire that lies in those eyes. The desire to be together. So he kisses me. Like he has never kissed me, ever. His lip ring so cold, his arms so tight and his tongue asking for permission. The kiss grows deeper and more passionate. I love the way he does this. I feel like the only girl on this planet. Like no one else exists but us. Like we are Adam and Eve and this is our Garden of Eden. I break away and look up again. But he has changed. It's not Luke anymore. It's a brown haired boy with green eyes. 

"Up for that surfing lesson?" he asks me. 

I woke up violently. Screaming and kicking off the blankets. It was too hot in here. I went to the window and put it wide open. I needed air. Air, yes, that was good. Breathe in, breathe out. I tried so hard not to pass out. What the hell of a dream had that been? Why did it have to be like that? Why did Luke have to be in it? And almost an exact copy of the scene that had happened earlier. I hated it. And then there was Will. He was in Lukes place. Man, dreams were confusing. 

I looked at the clock and it said it was 5 am. That was way too early. But I had fallen asleep early too. I never was someone to sleep in. Not since the whole touring thing. I was always up and about at 7. People hated me for that. I looked at my phone and saw I had a few messages from Michael. They were from like 12pm.  I was not going to answer him right now. He always hated it when people woke him up. He would be a grumpy cat for the rest of the day. I didn't need that. And I was getting lessons from a pro today. Lessons in surfing. Really, what had I been thinking? 

I decided to go and take a run. That way I could look around the place we lived. I put on my gear and took Stella with me too. She loved running. We always did it in New York. We went out the door and there was no one in the streets. It was kind of creepy. I ran and ran and ran. I came to a stop in front of a house I knew. It was the house of the boys.

Suddenly someone came out of the house. I hid behind a car. I tried to keep Stella still. There he was. Luke. Why the hell was he up at this time of day? Stella must have recognized him and dragged me to him. So far for hiding. I kinda hated that dog for a second, but not more than that. 

Luke saw us and he had a smile on his face when he saw Stella. She knew him from Skype. 

"Hi, little girl! Oh, now I finally get to see you, huh? You're so cute, yes you are!" he said in a childish voice. 

She just kept on asking for him to pet her. She was the cutest thing ever, but always wanted attention. 

He looked up at me. His eyes were so caring. But he looked so tired. 

"Hi", he said while getting up to face me. 

"Hey", I said back, trying not to look in his eyes. 

"You're up early", he said again while sucking in his lipring. 

Why did he have to do that? He already drove me crazy, now he had to drive me even more crazy? What was he? A warlock? Damn. 

"Yeah, bad dream, you're up early too.." 

"Yeah, I just can't sleep anymore", he said while I noticed the bags under his eyes I didn't see yesterday. 

I hadn't had a chance yesterday. I was too consumed by feelings. 

"Oh, any specific reason?" I asked and he just looked at me, arching his eyebrows. 

I knew his reason. It was the same as mine. And he didn't want to talk about it. 

"Oh, god. Why can't we.. like.. be friends?" he asked me, out of the blue. 

"Oh, uhm. I don't know if we can.. You know.." I tried to explain. 

But he knew. I saw it in his eyes and expression. He knew why we could never ever be friends. We still loved each other way too much. Maybe in the future. But not now. 

"So, uhm. You're running?" he asked me while moving closer. 

Why the hell was he getting closer? Didn't he know to keep his distance? After what happened yesterday e should've kept his distance. 

"Yeah, need to clear my head.." I said while stepping closer to him too. 

He was my gravity and he was pulling me in. I couldn't stay away from him. I couldn't. I didn't even want to. 

"I know what you mean." he was whispering now. But I heard him really well, I was so close. 

My heart was racing again. It was speeding up like it wanted to be in a race. I needed to hit the breaks. But I couldn't. My heart wanted more of this. It wanted to feel alive. And it only felt that way when he held me. When he kissed me. 

"We can't do this again.." I whispered and now we were almost touching.

"Why not? This feels so good.. It shouldn't be forbidden.." he whispered back.

"It should.." 

And with then his lips came crashing down on mine again. He held me in his arms and I held on to him. Like the world was going to explode if I didn't. Like my heart would shatter again if I didn't. Which was true. If I didn't hold on to him my heart would break again. I needed him. So much. And he needed me. My hands were on his chest and I felt his heart. Just like I used to. He pulled me in to him even more. And suddenly we were inside. I didn't even know how we got here. Stella was somewhere, running around. He led me up the stairs and took me to his room. I had never seen it before and I still didn't see it. I just saw Luke. Luke and how beautiful he was. How hard my heart was beating. I was out of breath and just looked into his eyes without kissing. Just holding each other. He seemed desperate. Like he needed this as much as I did. And man, did I need this. I stood on my toes and kissed his lip ring. Then I kissed his whole face and found my way back to his lips. I felt his lips smile against mine. And I did the same. I got lost in it all. He was taking off his shirt. And I did the same. He broke off our kiss and just looked at me in wonder. 

"You're so beautiful", his husky voice said. 

I looked at him. He had lost weight since I last saw him like this. I needed his hands on me again. Or else.. I knew I was going to run away if he didn't kiss me again soon. I stepped inside his embrace again and we were kissing again. He was kicking his pants off. And his hands found mine. We had never come this close before. But I didn't care. I needed to feel him. Everything was off in seconds and we were in his bed. His sheets smelled like his musky smell. I loved it. I was just in a cocoon of him. He surrounded me in every way. 

It was amazing in evey way. We had never been this close. I was still sweating and so was he. He was next to me and I decided to put my head on his chest. He smelled like sweat. I loved it. And it had been over in seconds. I was glad it happened. Luke had been amazing. I looked up and saw him smiling at me. 

"What are you grinning about?" I asked. 

"Us.." he said while I got up. "Why are you getting up?" 

"What if the boys notice Stella is here? They will see I'm here too.." I was telling him when he looked at me funny. 

"Why would that be bad? Doesn't matter if they know you're here.." He told me. 

But he didn't understand. It was bad. I wasn't his girlfriend. Nor did I want to be soon. 

----------

Luke's POV

That had been.. everything I could've ever hoped for. It was amazing. And she was here with me now. But she was getting up and worried about the boys seeing her. 

"Why do you have to go?" I asked her, confused.

"Because.. I'm not your girlfriend Luke.." she told me and it hurt. 

"But, what we just did was amazing.." I tried to explain. 

"Yes, it was. But it should not have happened.. This is not right.." she said while putting on her clothes.

"You're kidding.. Seriously.. Tell me you are.." I begged. 

"No, I'm serious Luke. I still can't trust you.. I admit that was great and it was great to feel that way. And I love you way more than I should. But I can't trust you won't do the same thing as you did before. Just dump my ass the first chance you get when things get a bit complicated. This " she gestured at us both. "will never happen again. I promise. It was a mistake." 

And with that she was out of my bedroom door. I just sat there. Staring at the spot she had just stood. I was dumbfounded. I couldn't comprehend what she had just said. 

I heard the door to outside close. And I was sure the others had heard it too. 

I went out of my room with my sweat pants on. Michael, Ashton and Calum were outside of their rooms too. 

"What the hell just happened?" Michael asked me. 

"You tell me.. For a second I thougth we were back together.." I told him while looking at my feet. 

"Tell me you didn't..?" Ashton said. 

"Yes, yes we did.." 

a/n

Hi you guys!! I just wanted to give you this for the New Year! I hope you're all happy! 

I hope you had an amazing year, if you didn't I hope next year will be better! I hope that you all meet our boys and get selfies with them and get followed by them. That's all I want for next year! I'm finally going in to the year where I finally get to see them!!!! I'm going to the tour!! I can't wait.. Just 140 more days.. But who's counting? 

Who's going to ROWYSO too? Tell me! I really hope you're all well and I'll see you in the new year! (it's still 2 pm here) 

I love you! 

Keep reading and keep being awesome!! 

xoxo 

Selina