author's note

i never really put an end to utterly impossible.
it's always been on hold; i've never actually had a definite conclusion for logan and cassidy. but to get this off my chest, and to earn that 'completed' sign for this book, i'll give you guys an ending to this cringeworthy story. enjoy ♥️

saudade

(n.) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved then lost, "the love that remains."

How does a moment last forever? They say that you must wish upon shooting stars because they are rare and short-lived, but what if I was blessed with a multitude of cosmos? A bouquet of flying stars.

That's how I feel about Logan Chase. How I've always felt, in every dream. The only difference now is that, all my fantasises no longer remain untouched. The images that seemed so far beyond reach are now before my eyes.

"Take a picture, pricness. It'll last longer."

I try to avert my eyes from Logan but it doesn't work. How can I? He looks gorgeous under the late sky, hands fixed on the wheel, eyes glued to the road.

"Don't hit me up with the clichés, Logan." I snort. "I've read enough Wattpad novels and watched enough Korean dramas to know every lover boy's move."

He smiles. "Well, I'm only your lover boy, as it seems."

"You're lucky then. Your girlfriend is too pretty for your own good."

"Is she now?" he says, raising his voice.

"Yeah. But I guess my boyfriend's too hot for his own good."

You could say that a figment of the sleeping, subconscious mind brought us together. Literally. It seems immature when I look back, I always knew that I was being childish. But I'm thankful for everything, for having met this boy.

I cannot dream without him.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"My bedroom. It's time we did the deed."

Bile rises in my throat, as I smack him on the shoulder. He chuckles when seeing my reaction.

"You better get your facts right, Mister. I won't hesitate to call Alaine if I have to."

"Alaine would be glad if we did it..."

"Shut up."

We end up driving to his house. His family is asleep but he chooses this as a suitable time to cuddle and watch a Netflix film. We end up watching To All The Boys I've Loved Before. That is, until he starts complaining about how I fangirl over Peter Kavinsky. I fall asleep in his arms anyway. And that's enough.

In the middle of sleep, I feel him tuck a stray bush of my hair. He cups my cheek gently, holding me as if I'm the most fragile thing in the world.

"I love you, Cassidy. I love you Cassidy French."

My heart pounds against my chest, and if it doesn't stop, Logan just might sense it thudding against him. But he knows I'm not fully asleep.

My eyes open slowly, as he traces small circles with his thumb on my cheek. It brings a smile to my face.

"I love you too. Always have and always will."

Maybe in another life, it won't be him and me. Maybe in the future, we won't even end up together. We haven't reached college yet, so I can hold no certainty of what the future holds. This is only just the beginning for there are greater battles to be won. But I know what thing for sure.

I'll always love him no matter what. Maybe differently, maybe not as much as before, but that's the thing about love. It never dies. Just changes into something different over time. I guess what I thought used to be so terrifyingly, inexplicably, and utterly impossible, could be a reality.

a/n: So that's actually the end?! I hate it myself, please don't get mad at me 😂 I literally wrote this for like 50 minutes only with zero editing. I feel like they're so different now, but still the same. In a way I can't explain. It's been years anyway. I'm just glad to have wrote about them again, it feels awesome.