#WIAE Chapter 19

It had already been 12 hours since the incident, but my entire system was still shaking in anger. I was containing it, though. No one needed to see how affected I was of what happened. I... I just needed to get my retribution and I would be done with it. The only people who needed to see what I really was feeling were those animals who dared touch me.

They needed to see me wrath. They should feel it.

"Miss Belinda, Jude Andrada was last spotted at—"

I stayed in my seat.

"I don't need the details, Sandra. Just tell me when you find him," I cut her off.

And then she left me. Agad akong dumiretso papunta sa kusina para ikuha ang sarili ko ng kape. I barely slept a wink last night. Hindi ako makatulog. Tuwing ipipikit ko ang mga mata ko, agad kong nakikita iyong mga nangyari. It was as if I could still feel their touch against my skin. I could still hear them ripping my clothes. I could still remember the way they laughed when I was crying for help.

Pagkatapos kong uminom ay didiretso na sana ako sa kwarto ng mga magulang ko. I needed to know why those bastards knew about Oli's death. My parents didn't even talk about it. I cried when he died, but they didn't even offer explanations... All I knew was that his death had already been paid, so I should just move on.

"Miss Belinda."

Napatigil ako sa pag-akyat sa hagdan nung marinig ko si Sandra. I looked at her, expecting that she'd already found the animal.

"Jude Andrada is already in our warehouse in Antipolo. Do you want to see him now?"

I curtly nodded.

"And the other thing?" She nodded. "Thank you, Sandra. I'll change my clothes first," I said and then went to my room. I didn't even bother taking a bath for what would happen later, and I opted to wear something white. I needed to see his blood on me, just like how he and his friends made me soak in my own blood and tears.

A few minutes later, I was in Antipolo. My breathing was heavy, and I was beginning to shake in anger once again. I wanted to stop myself. Anger would never do me good. Logic wouldn't work when one is angry... But I didn't give a flying fúck about logic that time. All I wanted was to make them suffer. So I let myself get angry and went inside.

Napatigil ako nung may makita akong lalaki sa gitna. He was sitting down, with a bag covering his head. He was shouting, too. Agad akong lumapit sa kanya at inalis iyong takip sa ulo niya.

"Good afternoon," I said.

Nanlaki iyong mata niya.

"I'm sorry!" agad niyang sabi.

I smiled.

"I don't need your apology," I replied. He began tearing up. Wala pa nga akong ginagawa sa kanya.

"I didn't know!"

"That I am an Estrella?" He fervently nodded. "So if I were just some girl, you wouldn't even bother apologizing to me?" I said, my anger just rising and rising because of what he said. "You're a fúcking animal."

"It wasn't me! Hindi ako ang nagplano nun!"

My lips were trembling but I managed to smile.

"We'll get to them later, Jude. But for now, let us play first, okay?"

I stared into his eyes and I could see fear. I was pretty sure that I mirrored the same expression when they abducted me. So why would I show mercy when they didn't spare me any?

"Do you remember what I offered you last night?" tanong ko sa kanya pero hindi siya makasagot. "Okay, since you're probably scared, you can't think properly. I'll answer for you," I said. "I offered to give you thrice what they gave you, remember?"

Nakatingin pa rin siya sa akin.

"Aside from our motto In Omnia Paratus, my parents also taught me to always pay my debts, Jude. But first, let me ask you... Who do you love most?"

His eyes widened.

"Do you love your mother, Janice, or Jenicka more?"

And then he began thrashing on his seat and shouting.

"Answer, Jude. I am not a very patient person," sabi ko sa kanya pero hindi pa rin siya sumasagot. "Cursing me won't do you any good. No one can hear you... just like no one heard me."

"Wag mo silang idamay!" he shouted.

"Pick a name."

"They're innocent!"

"And so was I! Ano'ng ginawa ko sa 'yo?! Sa inyo?! I was trying to live a normal life, Jude! I was trying to avoid this, but you pushed me off the edge! I didn't want to do this! I didn't want to get my hand bloodied but... You fúcking pushed me," I said, tears brimming in my eyes. "So, pick a name," I said through gritted teeth.

Hindi pa rin siya nagsasalita, but tears were flowing from his eyes.

I looked at Sandra who was quietly standing from afar.

"Sandra, pick a name. Olga, Janice, or Jenicka?"

"Janice, Miss Belinda," she quickly answered.

I looked at Jude, and said, "See? Mahirap bang sumagot?"

And then he only shouted louder. And louder when his sister was brought inside.

"Paano—"

"No one can hide from The Estrella, Jude," I told him what my parents always told me. "Not even from inside the walls of AdM. Not when I'm specifically looking for your them... because I made you a promise, remember? That I'd kill your entire family."

Naglakad ako papunta sa kapatid niya at saka tinanggal iyong piring sa mga mata niya.

"Hi," I greeted. "I'm sorry you had to be taken here, but your brother made me do it."

When she looked at me, I saw fear in her eyes... the way people were afraid of Avo. I wondered if I saw as scary as he was.

"W-what?" she asked, her lips trembling.

"Your brother and his friends tried to rape me," I said, the words stung in my mouth. Tinignan ko si Jude. "I promised your thrice worse, Jude. You pointed a knife to my side, and for that, your sister will be stabbed. You forcefully kissed me, and for that, your sister will be kissed like a whoré. You ripped my clothes, and for that, your sister will be stripped naked. You banged my head on the wall, and for that, your sister's head will be cut later," I said, my lips trembling with the anger I was trying so hard to contain.

Three guys entered the room. Janice shouted in fear. Jude shouted to make them stop.

"Miss Belinda, you don't have to watch this," Sandra said.

I smiled, my lips still quivering.

"I need to see this. I need to see him pay for what he did... because only then I can rest my case," I said. "Have you found his other friends?"

"Yes, Miss Belinda. They're currently being driven here."

I nodded.

"Please bring someone to torture those animals. Don't kill them easily. I want them to suffer until they beg to be killed. Make them tell you who asked them to do that to me."

"Noted, Miss Belinda.

"Also," I paused. "Cut his díck and make him eat it. If he doesn't, threaten to kill chop his father's díck, too."

She nodded, and said, "But what about the other families?"

I stopped.

"Shoot them in the head," I answered. "Make it quick. They were just collateral damages."

I was about to leave the place when the shoutings stopped. Lumingon ako at nakita ko si Janice na walang malay sa sahig. I looked like that, too... minus the animals panicking because they discovered who they messed with.

"You fúcking bitch," Jude said, crying because he couldn't do anything for his sister.

"You should've killed me when you had the chance," I spat.

"We should've raped you and killed you!"

I nodded.

"But you didn't. And now your sister paid for it."

Tumalikod na ako at akmang aalis na.

"You won't be safe!" he shouted. "You don't even know who your enemies are!"

I turned back and looked at him.

"Maybe... but they can't hide from me forever. Not when I'm looking for them."

--

Agad akong umuwi sa bahay. I rummaged through my mother's things until I found her sleeping pills. I wanted to sleep. I felt tired. I didn't want to have dreams... Gusto ko lang magpahinga dahil pagod na pagod na ako.

And then I closed my eyes... and finally rested.

The next day, I woke up, went down, and found Sandra waiting for me.

"Done?"

She nodded.

"The bodies are being disposed as of the moment," she informed. "They were tortured but it looked like they didn't also know who was behind the attack, Miss Belinda. All they knew was that it was a Dieux in Academia de Mondragon."

Was it Ella? Was that her revenge for what I did to Avo? Hindi ba dapat na matuwa siya dahil wala na kami ni Avo?

"There are five Dieux," I mumbled.

"Yes, Miss Belinda. I suggest that we do not do anything until we're sure. We do not want to kill the wrong person. It will cause havoc in the entire community."

I nodded. She was right. I didn't want another wreckage... what happened three years ago shouldn't happen ever again.

"What should I do?" I asked her.

"We already managed to infiltrate the firewalls of AdM, so it would be easier to track the movements of the Dieux through the cameras," she informed.

But there were too many blind spots that the cameras wouldn't capture. I was locked inside a freezer, and there was no trace. I was poisoned, and still, I had no clue. Alam ko na kung sa labas lang kami magmamatyag, wala kaming mapapala. These people weren't like Jude... they were like... me. I shouldn't belittle them. Whatever I have, they have, too. Whatever I can do, they can do, too.

"I'll go back in," I said. "I'll contact you through phone calls again, Sandra. Change my code. And don't ever tell my parents about this."

She nodded.

"Before you go back in, Miss Belinda, we'll give you a tracking device. Just push the button when you're in danger."

May kinuha siya sa brief case niya, at saka inabot sa akin.

"This is the symbol for peace, Sandra. It's kinda ironic, don't you think?" sabi ko habang tinitignan iyong bagay na binigay niya sa akin.

"That's all we hope for this world, Miss Belinda," she said. "Be careful. You're dealing with powerful people like you are."

She was right... but my family was more powerful. And I would make sure to make them see that.

--

I waited for a few days. I waited until the stitches on my forehead was done. Sandra suggested that I wait until my bruises were gone, but I needed to be back on Friday. There was the party. I needed to go to that party.

Came Friday, I went back inside. I hid the bruises on my face with concealer. I looked the same, except on the inside. The school looked the same—it still looked like a prison harboring future criminals. I would never feel safe inside this place. No one should.

Tahimik akong naglakad papasok, at dumiretso sa admin building. Kinausap ko sila para palitan ang ID ko.

"What made you change your mind?" Madame Jovelyn asked.

I looked at her.

"I am an Estrella, why should I hide it?"

She smiled, pleased with my answer, and gave me my new ID.

"I will be transferring to the dorm of the Dieux. Have people transfer my things," I told her. Tumayo na ako para umalis. Marami pa akong gagawin.

"I know you breached the firewall," sabi niya sa akin.

I turned around and looked at her.

"And if you're smart, you won't do anything about it," I said.

She just smiled, and nodded.

"You're just like your brother."

My brother was a good person. Oli was different from me... And that was why he got killed.

--

Agad akong nagpunta sa bilihan ng damit. I bought myself new clothes. I was done pretending to be a Deuxième. I was ready to embrace my real status.

When the night came, I changed my clothes. I didn't go to the dorm yet. Agad akong dumiretso sa function hall kung saan gaganapin ang party. The music was loud, the people were having fun, the lights were dancing. And when I entered, they all looked at me like I was a freak show. Bakit? Dahil iniwanan ko si Avo? Dahil akala nila, isa lang akong Duexième na tanga na iniwan ang isang Dieux?

Hinanap ko ang pwesto ng mga Dieux. Agad akong nagpunta roon. They were all staring at me, murmuring as I made my way to my proper place.

"What are you doing here?" Ella spat. "You're not with Avo anymore. You're not welcomed here."

I looked at Avo's eyes. His eyes still held all the answer he was trying to hide from me... but I'd break him. I'd break those walls and see for myself everything he was hiding.

"But I am, Ella," I said and took my seat. I sat in the middle of Lorenzo and Night. In front of Avo.

"What?" naguguluhan niyang tanong.

"I am Belinda Ophelia Estrella, Dieux," I introduced myself, the way I should've before.