#WIAE Chapter 25

My head felt like it was being pounded by a thousand hammer. I was still silently cursing Night as I tried to get my limbs disentangled from Avo's. I avoided staring at his sleeping facade. I felt guilty for sleeping with him. Something inside me was breaking but I didn't have time for feelings. Palagi kong inaalala lahat ng sinasabi nila sa akin. Trust no one. I trusted no one... not even myself. Most specially when my own feelings were betraying me.

Last night was something I wanted to remember and forget... but as much as I tried to forget it, everything was already buried in the deepest parts of my mind. Alam ko na hindi ko na matatakasan iyon... not even when go far away from this horrid place.

Avo quietly stirred.

"I'm sorry," I whispered against his sleeping face. I tried to caress his face, but I reprimanded myself even before I could. I should remember what I came here for. Agad akong tumayo at tahimik na nagsimulang maghanap ng kahit na ano... I just needed something, anything that could give me a clue.

Nagsimula akong tignan ang mga drawers ni Avo pero wala akong nakitang kakaiba. There were pictures there, but nothing was giving me anything. Ilang beses na akong nakapasok sa kwarto ni Avo dati pero hindi ko binigyang pansin ang mga nakikita ko dati... I wasn't curious before. I didn't have any agenda before. But now that I was seeing it in a different light, I couldn't help but wonder.

It felt different. Everything in this room felt detached from the Avo I knew.

Isa-isa kong tinignan iyong mga litrato na nakalagay sa isang photo album na nasa pinaka-ibaba ng drawer. There were pictures of Ella and Avo. They looked so happy... and it was giving me a strange feeling. Something was wrong.

"Who are you..." I mumbled as I stared at the picture. It didn't feel like the Avo I knew. Tama kaya si Lorenzo? Iba nga ba ang bumalik na Avo? Pero kung ganoon, sino ang kasama ni Oli? At ano ang nangyari sa kanya?

I was about to scan the remaining pictures when I heard Avo calling my name. I froze on the spot.

"Boe..." he called.

Kinalma ko ang sarili ko at mabilis na itinago ang photo album sa ilalim. I turned around and faced him. And awkwardly smiled.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I... was looking for my shirt," I lied. Sobrang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko. I was still clutching the linen against my naked body. Sa sobrang pagmamadali ko kanina na makapaghanap ng ebidensya ay nalimutan kong magbihis agad.

Avo motioned for me to go back to the bed. I gave in. He looked too fúcking good in the morning. I wanted to slap myself for thinking this way. He's the enemy, but how could I defeat the enemy when he looked like this in the morning?! Damn Night! Kasalanan niya ang lahat ng 'to!

"It's still early. Let's sleep some more," he mumbled as he nuzzled my neck.

I closed my eyes as the sensation settled in. 'Don't you dare, Estrella! He's the enemy!' I reminded myself.

"It's already 9 am," I replied as I bit my lower lip to stop myself from making any noise that might just encourage him to continue what he was doing.

"I don't care," he answered and pulled me back to bed with him. "We barely slept a wink. Let's sleep some more."

And I frigging couldn't do anything because he placed his arms on my stomach and entangled his legs against mine.

"Good night," he said as he snuggled against me.

--

A few hours later, I finally convinced Avo to let me go. Not after sleeping with him again. Na gusto kong sabunutan ang sarili ko. I kept on convincing myself that I shouldn't but every time he touched me, I just couldn't resist.

I was still blaming Night for everything!

Paglabas ko sa kwarto ni Avo, didiretso na sana ako sa kwarto ko nung makasalubong ko si Night. He was looking at me up and down and wiggling his eyebrow.

"Someone's doing the walk of shame," he said with a sly smile. "Up all night?"

I glared at him and was about to punch him in the face when he took a step back and started chuckling.

"You smell like Avo, Estrella," he said as he wrinkled his nose. "Take a bath first before touching me."

I clenched my jaw.

"You fúcking drugged me!" I hissed.

"And you enjoyed yourself, you're welcome," he replied. "Where's Avo? Still asleep?"

"Don't you dare go near me. I'll freaking break your neck!"

Tatawa-tawa lang siya.

"You don't have your cronies here with you, Estrella. I know you. You don't do your dirty works."

Bakit ba si Night ang nakikita ko kapag ayaw kong makita ni anino niya?! Was he born in this world to infuriate me?! And to further confuse me every step of the way?!

"I might just start with you," I threatened him. He just shrugged at me and then went away while holding his apple and Nutella. God, I wanted to strangle him so bad!

--

After thoroughly taking a bath, I remained in my bed. My whole body felt sore, and I didn't have the energy to go outside. Nagugutom na ako pero mas lamang iyong pagod ko kaya tiniis ko na lang iyong gutom. I was still thinking that banning phones in this place was a freaking bad idea. They could just jam the signal from the outside, but at least, we should be given the liberty to call people inside.

My stomach was already grumbling, but my legs were still limp. I didn't think Avo was— God, I shouldn't even go there! Hindi ko dapat iniisip iyong mga nangyari kagabi! It was distracting me, and I couldn't afford to be distracted. Hindi ngayon. Mas lalong hindi ngayon kung kailan nararamdaman ko na malapit na.

Papatayo na sana ako para pilitin na makarating sa kusina nung biglang bumukas iyong pinto. It was Avo.

"Sore?"

Bigla akong namula. Was I the only virgin in this house?! Bakit ba masyado silang kumportable na pag-usapan ang ganitong mga bagay?!

"I brought you food," he said as he placed the tray on the bedside table.

"Thanks," I replied, still not able to look him in the eye.

I was about to reach for the spoon when Avo took it.

"Ako na," I said when he attempted to feed me. "Kaya ko namang kumain."

"I know," he replied. "But I want to do this for you."

Ganito ba talaga? Dahil masyado siyang natuwa kagabi kaya sobrang bait niya sa akin? Paano pa kaya si Night kay Laurie? Naaalala ko na naman iyong sinabi ni Fuji dati na nilulumpo raw ni Night si Laurie... Animal talaga.

As Avo began to feed me like I was an invalid, I debated with myself. Should I ask him? Would he be honest with me if I asked him about Oli? Would he spare me no details if I asked him about what happened the day Oli died? Would he explain me everything that's bothering me?

"What are you thinking about?" he asked when he noticed that my head was flying off to somewhere.

I looked at him, weighing what my next move would be.

"Nothing..." I lied. It still wasn't the time. I still needed to lure him in further. "Are you free later?"

He nodded.

"I have a final exam on Self-Defense. Pwede mo ba akong turuan?"

The last time was such a disaster. Lalo na ngayon na kalat na rin na isa akong Dieux kaya alam ko na talagang si Ella ang makakapareha ko para sa finals. And there's no way in hell that I'd give her the chance to kick my ass—not when I was dying to get my hands on her. She'd been making my life here in the house a living hell! Kahit pagkain ko ay sinasabutahe niya. She's a pain in the ass! No wonder Lorenzo would do anything just to shut her up. Night had been using Ella and her craziness to make Lorenzo do things. Sa sobrang ingay ni Ella, pumapayag si Lorenzo para lang mapatahimik siya. She's that loud.

Avo nodded.

"Were you seriously hurt the last time?"

I shook my head.

"I terrorized her, remember?"

Natawa siya ng kaunti.

"Yeah..." he trailed. "But we'll train together. I don't like it when you're hurt."

I smiled at what he said, but still I couldn't help but think how he wasn't there when I needed him most... Pero pilit kong tinanggal sa isip ko iyon. It was already a done deed, and what mattered was how I'd resolve it. At iyon na nga ang ginagawa ko ngayon. So I did my best and plastered a smile on my face.

"Protective," I commented.

Ibinaba niya iyong kutsara at saka hinawakan iyong pisngi ko.

"I'm protective of what's mine."

I raised a brow.

"I'm yours?"

He smirked. God, those lips! Why did he have the reddest lips of them all?! Mas daig niya pa ang babae!

"I think we already made sure of that last night, wife," he said and then leaned in. He began to kiss me, and I didn't even try to fight back. I kissed him, too, because I liked it. It was Night's fault. I tried to avoid this, but now that I tasted it, I was suddenly always craving for it. He awoken my desire for Avo.

Avo began to lay my back on the bed while continuously kissing my neck. Damn, that felt good!

"I thought you were feeding me," I managed to mumble as he began to unbutton my pajama top.

"I thought so, too," he said and then my top was discarded. Who knew he was talented in the art of discarding clothes! "Change of agenda."

I closed my eyes as his kisses began to travel down to my chest. Holy god. And further down. Oh shit.

--

The sun already sun when Avo decided that he's tired. He was sleeping in my bed. Tinignan ko nang mabuti iyong mukha niya at napa-buntong-hininga. I felt bad for doing this... para kasing kasama ko lang siya dahil may kailangan ako. It didn't even need to reach this far, but what more could I do? I already went down this path, and I knew there was no turning back.

Nung masigurado ko na tulog na siya, agad akong bumalik sa kwarto niya para maghanap ulit ng mga bagay na pwede kong magamit. I just needed something... a clue. Something that would put everything together.

I began to search the other side of his room. Wala akong makita sa mga drawer niya. Everything there was useless. Nothing gave anything away. Nagsimula akong tignan iyong mga libro niya. I was patiently checking each books, because maybe something was there... Hindi ko alam. I was just merely pushing my luck. Ayoko kasi na isipin na para lang sa wala lahat ng mga nagawa ko.

Nasa pang-apat na libro na ako. So far, the books were normal... They were books... Pero itong nakita ko.

Alistair Yoseff Ostenhaimer

My heart began to pound inside my chest. Agad kong binuksan ang bawat pahina ng libro, hoping to get something that might shed a light. Nanginginig ang mga daliri ko habang binubuksan ang mga pahina. I was close to tearing the book apart pero wala akong makita! Nothing besides that damned name! Mas lalo lang nadagdagan ang mga kailangan kong malaman!

Nung wala akong makita sa libro na iyon, agad kong binuksan iyong kasunod na libro. At iyong kasunod. At ang isa pa... but nothing gave me anything.

It was another fucking dead end.

My teeth were clashing with each other because of utter frustration. Halos ibato ko na iyong mga libro dahil sa sobrang inis! But I needed to be patient. Kailangan ko nang lumabas dahil anumang minuto ay maaaring magising si Avo at hanapin ako. And I didn't want to make him doubt my intentions. I needed him to think that everything was going smoothly between the two of us.

Lumabas ako sa kwarto niya at saka bumaba para kumuha ng tubig. Pabalik na sana ako sa kwarto ko para balikan si Avo nung makita ko si Cathy sa labas ng pintuan. Agad na nakuha niya ang atensyon ko... What was she doing here?

Lalapitan ko sana si Cathy para itanong kung ano ang pakay niya dito nung makarinig ako ng malakas na sampal. Natigilan ako.

"What did you say?!"

Shit. Si Ella. Bakit sila magka-usap?

"I love him..." umiiyak na sabi ni Cathy.

"Love?! You love him?!"

Tumango si Cathy habang umiiyak.

"You delusional bitch! What made you think that Fuji gives a damn about you?!"

Oh, my god. Si Fuji?!

"He loves me!"

At isang sampal na naman ang nakuha ni Cathy.

"Magising ka sa katotohanan!" sigaw ni Ella. Bigla niyang hinatak iyong buhok ni Cathy at nagsimula siyang hatakin palayo sa bahay. Agad akong naalarma. Ella's crazy! Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin niya kay Cathy! Sinundan ko sila. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang pumasok sa utak ko kaya hindi ako makalapit, but I was silently praying that someone would see us. Natatakot ako sa pwedeng gawin ni Ella kay Cathy!

Patuloy na hinatak ni Ella si Cathy hanggang sa makarating kami sa lugar na iyon... Chills began to creep in my system. Biglang nanikip ang dibdib ko. Biglang bumalik ang mga alaala sa akin.

"He'll never love you! You're just his toy!"

Cathy silently accepted every slap.

"You're just his slave for the sem! He'll throw you like the trash that you are!"

Shit. S-siya ang napili ni Fuji? Pero akala ko...

"So stop thinking that you're something else, because you're nothing but a trash to be discarded!"

Hindi ako makapagsalita. Hindi ako makagalaw.

"Aren't you a trash yourself, Ella? Hindi ba't ilang beses ka na ring itinapon ni Avo?"

Biglang natigilan si Ella.

"Why you—"

"Isn't that the reason why you plotted against Boe? Isn't that the reason why you asked me to report all her whereabouts to you?"