#WIAE26 Chapter 26

Bigla akong nanigas sa kinatatayuan ko. Bigla kong nahigit ang paghinga ko. I couldn't believe what I was hearing... I refused to believe it even if I was hearing it myself. Paano nila nagawa sa akin 'to? She was my friend... and yet she fucking betrayed me. Hindi ako makapaniwala... Ayokong maniwala. Pakiramdam ko ay naninikip ang dibdib ko sa mga naririnig ko.

"What?!" Ella shouted.

"Bakit? Hindi ba?" Cathy retorted

"Are you accusing me?!" Ella shouted again.

Cathy smiled. And then she threw me a glance. She knew... she knew I was listening... My chest hurt.

"I knew you were low... I didn't know it's possible for you to get lower," Cathy said. "Paano mo nagawa sa kanya iyon?"

Tears began to fall. I couldn't believe what I was hearing... I knew something was wrong... I knew she didn't like me... but this? This was unforgivable. This was something nothing could ever repair.

Lumapit si Ella at malakas na sinampal si Cathy.

"You have no idea what you're talking about!" Ella shouted, her hand harshly cupping Cathy's face. "And if I ever did anything to her, wala ka ng pakielam doon! She deserved it!"

I clenched my fist and gritted my teeth. Mas lalong sumisikip ang dibdib ko sa mga sinasabi niya. I deserved it?! I deserved to be raped?! What did I ever do to her for her to wish that upon me?! Hindi ba't ilang beses ko na sinasabi sa kanya na si Avo ang sisihin niya?! Kailan ko ba inagaw si Avo sa kanya? Did I beg?! Did I steal him away from her?!

"She deserved everything she got!"

The logical side of me was starting to fade. All I could see was red. All I wanted was blood.

"Every single thing she got, she asked for it!" she continued.

"Isusumbong kita kay Avo! I'll tell him what you did! I'll tell him what you asked me to do!" Cathy shouted back. Biglang hinila ni Ella si Cathy sa buhok. She wrote Memento Mori on the wall and it opened. "Saan mo ako dadalhin?!"

Sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. I couldn't think clearly. I just wanted to get revenge on Ella. I just wanted my retribution. I just wanted her to pay for everything she did to me! Dahil hindi ko dapat naranasan iyon! Hindi ako sana ganito kung hindi dahil sa kanya! She made me do horrible things! She pushed me!

Agad akong sumunod sa kanila sa loob. Alam ko na hindi na ako nag-iisip. I was mad. I was fucking mad.

"What the—"

Napatigil si Ella sa ginagawa niya kay Cathy nung nakita niya ako. I clenched my fists.

"Totoo ba?" tanong ko sa kanya. I just wanted to hear it myself. Na siya ang dahilan. Na siya ang dahilan kung bakit nangyari ang lahat ng iyon sa akin. "Totoo ba... na ikaw ang may gawa sa akin?"

Ella looked at me. She's mad at me, alam ko. Pakiramdam niya ay inagaw ko sa kanya ang lahat, alam ko... pero sapat ba 'yun? Sapat ba iyon para sirain niya ang buhay ko?

"Kung totoo... may magagawa ka ba?" she asked.

Nagsimulang pumatak iyong mga luha ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako naiiyak... marahil ay dahil sa inis. At galit. Dahil hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin maintindihan kung bakit sa tingin niya ay tama lang na ginawa niya sa akin iyon.

Could you ever hate somebody enough to do that to her?

Inilipat ko iyong tingin ko kay Cathy.

"I trusted you..." I said, my voice breaking. "You were my friend..."

Ni hindi siya maka-tingin sa akin.

"You told me not to trust anyone, but I didn't think you'd be the first one to betray me."

Matatanggap ko na si Ella ang gumawa sa akin. Alam ko na galit siya sa akin. Sa bawat pagkikita namin, palagi niyang pinapaalala sa akin na kung may pagkakataon siya, papatayin niya ako... Pero si Cathy? Paano niya nagawa sa akin 'to?

"I tried to warn you..." she whispered.

"You tried?" I said as tears kept on flowing. "Kaya ba pinabayaan mo akong maglakad palabas kahit na alam mo na may mangyayari sa akin? Iyon ba?!"

"Hindi ko sinasadya..." she said, crying.

Sa tuwing ipinipikit ko ang mga mata ko, naaalala ko pa rin iyon. Hanggang ngayon, iyon pa rin ang laman ng mga panaginip ko. Sa tuwing naiisip ko, halos hindi ako maka-hinga... tapos sasabihin niya na hindi niya sinasadya?!

"You didn't mean to?! You didn't mean what happened to me?! You didn't mean everything those bastards did to me?! Iyon ba ang ibig mong sabihin?!"

Wala akong pakielam kung umiiyak siya. Kahit ilang luha pa ang ilabas niya, hindi nun matutumbasan iyong naranasan ko sa lugar na 'to! She created a demon out of me!

"I tried to stay away from you! Kasi kapag tinatanong nila ako, ayoko na may maisasagot ako!" she shouted back. "Every time I was asked, I said nothing because there was nothing I know! Hindi kita kinakausap dahil ayoko na may malaman! I accepted every bruise I was given because I was trying to protect you!"

Biglang bumalik sa isip ko lahat ng mga gabi na wala siya. Lahat ng umaga na paggising ko, wala na agad siya. Lahat ng pasa na akala ko ay sa klase niya nakuha. Iyon ba 'yun?

"Gusto mong patawarin kita dahil doon?" I said, my lips shaking in unexplainable anger.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry... Pero wala akong magagawa... They threatened my family. They made me lose my rank. I had no choice, Boe."

I looked at her, and I couldn't feel any pity for her.

"You could've said no."

You could've saved me.

"I chose to save my family..." she said, crying. "And I'd choose it again, if I have to."

Hindi ako makapaniwala na naririnig ko ang mga 'to galing sa kanya. Siya ang una kong kaibigan. Siya iyong una kong pinagkatiwalaan. Hindi ako makapaniwala na siya ang gagawa sa akin ng ganito.

"You were afraid of Ella?"

Slowly, she nodded.

"And you weren't afraid of me?" I said, my chest heaving in anger. "You should be afraid of me."

My lips were quivering. I was trying to contain myself. I was fuming mad. Ngayon lang ako nagalit ng ganito. Ngayon ko lang naranasan na traydurin... and I didn't know it hurt this bad.

"Tapos na ba kayong magdrama?" Ella said.

She attempted to go outside, but I quickly grabbed the gun I saw Lorenzo toss the last time we were here. My hands were shaking, but I pointed the gun at her face. This was not the time to be afraid. No one was here to save me. I was the only one left to save myself.

"No one leaves this room until I say so," I said. I had no time to contact Sandra. At alam ko na kapag nakabalik kami sa loob ng AdM, mahihirapan na ako na magkaroon ng oras para kausaping muli si Ella. And I was not about to spare another opportunity.

She laughed at me.

"Says who?"

"Me," I said, and then removed the safety on the gun. "I'll shoot you in the head."

Nginitian niya ako.

"Ikaw?" sabi niya, natatawa. "I'm sorry, but you don't struck me as someone who does things like this. Sorry, Estrella. I really don't believe you," she continued, shrugging her shoulders.

My breathing was ragged.

"Are you sure?" I asked her. And then I pointed my gun at Cathy and quickly shot her in the head. I didn't even bother to look at her. She betrayed me... and that's the price of her betrayal. I wasn't done with her. I would kill her entire family for what she caused me. She should've chosen who she would fear. And she should have feared me.

I was an Estrella... and the monster inside me had awoken. I should be the one she feared. She should've stayed under my mercy.

Biglang nanlaki ang mga mata ni Ella dahil sa bilis ng pangyayari. My lips were quivering but I managed to smile. Nanginginig iyong mga daliri ko at saka ko ibinalik sa kanya iyong tutok ng baril.

"You still don't believe me?" I said, cocking the gun to prepare for another shot. "If I managed to kill an old friend, sino ka para hindi ko patayin?"

Ella's face became serious.

"You won't... My family will kill yours if you kill me."

A lazy smile broke on my face.

"You really don't know me, Elliana Montrova." I said and then shot her right leg. Bigla siyang napaupo. "No one will know what happened." And then I shot her in the arm. "Your body will be dismembered and you will be thrown at the deepest end of the sea." I smiled. "No one will know you died... and soon, you will be forgotten."

"You bitch!"

Napa-ngiti ako.

"This bitch will kill you."

Humakbang ako palapit sa kanya. I didn't avoid the blood that was flowing from her gunshot wounds. I'd thrive in her blood. That was the price of every tears I shed because of her. Of every slap I endured from her.

"Don't you find it ironic?" sabi ko habang itinututok sa ulo niya iyong baril. "Avo... the man you claim to love, taught me how to shoot... he basically taught me how to kill you."

Blood was flowing from her legs, but I still couldn't find pity within myself. She was beyond saving... kagaya ko.

"You see the blood on the wall? Dyan paulit-ulit na hinampas iyong ulo ko." At tuwing gabi, parati ko pa rin iyong naaalala. Paulit-ulit. Walang tigil.

She looked up, her gaze enough to bury me alive.

"I wasn't the one who did that!" biglang sabi niya. "I was just lying! Hindi ko alam kung sino ang may gawa sa iyo non!"

Tinitigan ko siyang mabuti.

"Why would I believe you now? You just told me that you're the one responsible for everything."

At mas itinutok ko sa gitna ng noo niya iyong baril. The gun was warm against my hand. And soon, Ella would be nothing but a cold, lifeless corpse. Because that's what she deserved.

"I was just lying! I didn't do that! I hate you but I wouldn't do that to you!"

Nagsimula na siyang umiyak. The Great Elliana Montrova was crying in front of me... but still, I couldn't believe a word she said.

"Ask her! Ask anyone! I didn't do it!"

I cocked my head towards the lifeless body of Cathy.

"The only person who could save you just died."

I placed my hand against the trigger. It still felt warm against my skin.

"If you kill me, my family will destroy yours..." she said. She sounded frail, so afraid. I never thought I would witness something as wonderful as this. She was beginning to cry... Probably afraid for her looming end. Because I would kill her. I would destroy her.

"I'll take my chances," I said, beginning to pull the trigger. Pero bago ko pa man magawa, bigla kong narinig na may tumawag sa pangalan ko.

"Estrella."

Natigilan ako.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Hindi ko na kailangang tignan kung sino iyon. I knew his voice. I knew his presence. All I didn't know was his motives. All the secrets hiding behind his smiles... I'd soon find out all about him.

"Killing the enemy," I whispered, looking at Ella's face. I would be the last person she'd see before she dies... I didn't think I deserved that honor.

"Shit," he cursed under his breath. "You can't do this. Her family will haunt you down!" he said and then continued to curse. "You shouldn't be doing this! This isn't right!"

I turned around and looked at him. He was looking at the bloodbath caused by Cathy's blood... and soon after, Ella's blood would flow. And I wouldn't feel any regret.

"You're the one who told me to play the game. And here I am, playing it."

And then I pulled the trigger. And then I smiled... but I knew my smile didn't mean anything. It was empty... like my heart. Like his heart. They were both useless.

"Aren't you proud, Night? I just killed using my own hands... I'm not a hypocrite anymore..." I said as I let go of the gun.