The TrapHaus

Zuckles: so what are we gonna do about groceries this week

Jay: wdym bro its literally your week to buy them???

Fitz: this cunt is always trying to avoid it

Fitz: just like when its his turn to clean the bathroom

Tobi: ikr like wth

Zuckles: well how come tobi doesnt have to clean the toilets???

Swagger: shes a girl she cant clean up after us thats misogynistic

Kryoz: you guys live with a girl?? i thought it was all guys

Fitz: tobi is transgender

Tobi: ^^^^

Kryoz: ohhhh ok got it

Kryoz: nice to meet u tobi btw

Tobi: hello!!

Zuckles: well she should be getting the groceries then

Swagger: dude???

Swagger: you agreed to this when we set up our systems dude you cant back out now

Jay: yeah we literally were like either we trade off chores weekly or we each have our own chore we take care of and we ALL agreed to the trade off so like whats the issue here

Zuckles: this is bullshit lets just hire a house keeper or some shit

Fitz: mason go buy the fucking groceries before i ring your neck out

Zuckles: yk youve been a real pain in the ass since your little trip the other day

Swagger: what trip

Fitz: oh like you fucking care

Swagger: what the fuck??

Jay: oh god

Tobi: you guys agreed to not fight in the groupchat when you started dating bc it always leads to cybersex

Kryoz: cybersex is an option??

Swagger: im not fighting with anyone i just wanted to know what cam is up to

Fitz: none of your fucking business

Swagger: i didnt know you had a trip coming up

Fitz: yeah isnt it crazy how plans can change so last minute sometimes

Jay: ooooohhhhh hes still mad about the other day

Kryoz: tell me about it

Kryoz: he threw a hissy fit in one of our chats yesterday too

Fitz: fuck off john why dont you go text your new love interest or whatever

Kryoz: why am i catching strays

Zuckles: does anyone wanna go to the store with me

Jay: ill go ig lemme just grab my shoes

Swagger: cam i already told you we can talk about it when i am back home

Fitz: yeah and thats not for another month! what do you expect me to do until then?? act like everything is normal after you just kicked me out of a trip with you??

Swagger: cam we are not doing this here

Swagger: ive just changed my mind about the work trip okay its nothing personal

Fitz: well it feels pretty personal

Kryoz: you guys should video call me i wanna see what an australian store looks like

Jay: i got you mate

Fitz: honestly i just think that if you're gonna break up with me you should just do it to get it over with

Swagger: cam

Swagger: when i get home we can talk about this but not now

Fitz: youre such a coward you know that

Kryoz: god you are so fucking impatient

Kryoz: you think everything has to revolve around you and go by your schedule but thats just not how it works cam

Kryoz: you do things and expect everyone to be okay with it and act like the biggest victim when youre SLIGHTLY INCONVENIENCED

Kryoz: so your boyfriend doesnt want to have a serious conversation until youre in the same COUNTRY?? ok then deal with it

Kryoz: stop bitching and moaning about every little thing you whiny bitch

Jay: okay well now im hard

—

YIKES

Moo: okay so like on a serious note guys

Moo: do we think the camping trip is a good idea

Kryoz: moo

Kryoz: brock

Kryoz: third nickname

Kryoz: JUST LET IT GO DUDE WE ALL WANT TO GO ON THE TRIP IF SOMETHINGS GONNA GO WRONG JUST LET IT GO WRONG

Kryoz: theres always so much back and forth with no actual reason for it aside from "well this MIGHT be a problem so we shouldnt do it" like bro shut UP

Kryoz: evan has said multiple times hes down

Kryoz: brian is down

Kryoz: literally NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN IF WE PLAN THIS TRIP

Kryoz: it will not kill ANYONE to spend a couple days in the wilderness with their ex

Moo: holy fuck

WildHoe: who pissed him off

Fitz: hes a right bastard today

Kryoz: you wanna go for round two cam

Fitz: nope

Moo: ???

Moo: i was more thinking about evans ankle

Moo: idk how long a sprain lasts

Kryoz: okay so i googled it and considering that evan is using crutches it can take anywhere between 4-12 weeks

Kryoz: but honestly i think he'll be fine hes usually pretty safe about that stuff

WildHoe: famous last words

Kryoz: i mean we COULD postpone the trip a bit but then evan will have to kill his coworkers (his words, not mine) so idk if thats the best alternative

Fitz: yk i wouldnt put it past him to kill them anyway

Fitz: that guy is ruthless

Kryoz: anyone else feel a disturbance in the force

WildHoe: a what in the what

Kryoz: a disturbance in the force

Kryoz: yk like something is happening that is going to affect all of us but we dont know what it is yet

Moo: you are the weirdest person ive ever met

Kryoz: ok well when things change all of a sudden remember this conversation !!

Moo: dude literally nothing is happening

—

Now showing private messages between DaithiDeNoPrivilege and Four07

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: what the fuck.

Four07: ik its not the best

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: oh my god

Four07: can you please say something thats not a variation of those two sentences

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: well you just broke up with me in a text what do you want me to say

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: i forgive you?? i understand?? fuck no

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: what the fuck scott

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: how could you fucking do this to me

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: OVER TEXT

Four07: i know

Four07: i know its horrible but i just couldnt tell you in person, it would hurt too much and id second guess the whole thing

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: so you dont even want to break up we're just doing it anyway???

Four07: i do want to break up

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: but why

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: give me one actually good reason as to why this isnt working anymore

Four07: david its just not working for me anymore

Four07: im really sorry

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: oh my god

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: oh my FUCKING god

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: youve got to be kidding me right now

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: youre fucking serious??

Four07: what

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: youre breaking up with me because you DO still like evan dont you

Four07: thats not true

Four07: okay well maybe but thats not the only reason

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: oh my god FUCK YOU

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: youre actually the worst person ever

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: AFTER I DEFENDED YOU AND TOLD EVERYONE THAT YOUD NEVER

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: holy shit

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: oh my god youre getting back together arent you

Four07: NO

Four07: ABSOLUTELY NOT

Four07: look its just not fair to be so involved with you when im having this one sided crush okay??

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: "be so involved with you" we have been DATING FOR MULTIPLE YEARS

Four07: okay fair that was my bad

Four07: i think i just havent fully processed my feelings

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: you are unbelievable

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: i am so mad at you i cannot even find the words

Four07: david im really sorry

Four07: but what else did you want me to do?

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: so this little crush on evan, your EX BOYFRIEND, is so deep that its worth throwing away your entire relationship???

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: you are so pathetic

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: you are throwing us away for nothing

Four07: you think this is easy for me?? its not

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: youre ridiculous

Four07: david

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: go fuck yourself scott

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: dont text me again

—

Now showing private messages between Four07 and Kryoz

Four07: fuck my stupid gay life

Kryoz: ????

Four07: youre becoming my new best friend john i feel like everyone else is gonna hate me

Kryoz: why whatd you do

Four07: i just broke up with david

Kryoz: WHATTTTTTTTT?????

Kryoz: wait why i dont understand

Four07: idk if i should tell you

Four07: honestly he might end up telling everyone anyways

Four07: BUT YOU CANT SAY ANYTHING

Kryoz: why am i suddenly the guy everyone tells their secrets to

Four07: who else is giving you their secrets???

Kryoz: ive said too much

Kryoz: why'd you guys break up

Four07: i might have a crush on evan

Four07: but i know it wont go anywhere!! it just didnt feel fair to be with david when im still not over my ex

Kryoz: i need a moment to process this information

Kryoz: okay the moment has passed

Kryoz: WHAT THE FUCK

Kryoz: YOU LIKE EVAN AGAIN???

Four07: i knowwweww its like so stupid

Four07: esp since hes not available anyway

Kryoz: what.

Four07: like he doesnt want me anyways??? hes not even an option??

Kryoz: wait.

Kryoz: do you know something

Kryoz: about evan

Four07: yeah i have a massive crush on him and he will never feel that way about me ever again so its pointless

Kryoz: maybe if you become his roommate

Four07: WAIT

Four07: DO YOU KNOW

Four07: wait how would you know

Kryoz: what do you know about what i might know about

Four07: how do YOU know about what i may know about

Kryoz: well how do i know you know what im talking about

Four07: okay enough of this

Four07: instead of saying what we think the other knows, why dont we just say who its about

Four07: if we say the same name(s) then we can talk about it and confirm what the other knows

Kryoz: im still confused but ill do what you say

Four07: okay on three

Four07: one

Kryoz: wait why are you counting to three we're texting

Four07: STFU, two

Four07: three

Kryoz: evan and brian

Four07: evan and brian

Four07: holy fuck

Kryoz: HOW DO YOU KNOW

Four07: evan told me

Four07: how do you know????

Kryoz: okay well i could tell you but its a long story and you have to swear yourself to absolute secrecy

Four07: who tf am i gonna tell

Four07: and i already told you my secret

Kryoz: okay well this one is crazy

Kryoz: are you sitting down

Four07: you are SO dramatic just tell me

Kryoz: ive been hooking up with cam

Four07: bro everyone already knows that

Kryoz: okay well brock only said that to cover for evan and brian but like its actually true and we've been hooking up since craig went psycho and broke evans wrist

Four07: wow so everyone really DOES hookup in brock's bathroom

Kryoz: WTF

Kryoz: okay hold on we're gonna come back to that just give me a sec

Kryoz: and evan found out it was real and i think he told swagger

Kryoz: then swagger invited me on a work trip with him and it turns out swagger and evan work together now bc of some merger or some shit

Kryoz: thats how i know

Four07: okay thats actually a lot of information i didnt know

Four07: also who is swagger

Kryoz: CAMS BF

Kryoz: well for now at least

Four07: WAIT

Four07: bro only YOU could help someone cheat on their bf and then proceed to STEAL SAID BF

Kryoz: IK

Kryoz: fuck MY stupid gay life

Four07: dude your life is a MESS

Kryoz: yeah i mean i was already in a love triangle with tyler and cam and NOW i have swags thrown in there

Four07: wait actually back up

Four07: whats this work trip ur going on

Kryoz: ok i dont know much but its a work conference to celebrate the merging of swaggers company and evans company, but they already have worked together before

Kryoz: and they are allowed a plus one and that spot WAS cam's but then swagger found out and decided to invite me instead

Kryoz: and swagger put me him and evan in a gc which is how i know that brian is evans plus one

Kryoz: okay actually evan told me brian is his plus one BEFORE THAT but then swagger said something that implied they got back together

Four07: okay in the spirit of secrets i have to tell you that they never broke up they just wanted to fuck with you guys

Kryoz: WHAT THE FUCK

Kryoz: that makes sense actually

Four07: so theyve been together like a while huh

Kryoz: theyre the only reason i still believe in love

Four07: okay thats a little extreme

Four07: but i get it

Four07: its stupid but i actually realized that i still have a crush on evan after i saw him with brian and they looked so happy

Four07: im happy for them

Four07: i just wish i had that

Kryoz: same dude

Four07: wait so what happened with tyler

Kryoz: i was willing to give him another chance after he promised me that he had nothing to do with craig and i just wanted him to show me

Kryoz: but clearly hes still accepting updates from the guy so fuck him im over it i want someone who treats me like they should

Kryoz: and fucking cam keeps hitting me up and telling me he wants me but then gets all pissy when his boyfriend is gonna break up with hum bc he fucking knows about us and im so sick of the switch up yk like i cant keep going in circles like this

Four07: yeah exactly dude

Four07: im glad swagger is taking you on this work trip sounds like you need it

Kryoz: im curious to see how evan interacts with all these coworkers he hates

Kryoz: swagger told me that evan is mean to literally everyone and has never even seen him smile which is crazy bc evan is totally chill aside from the occasional homicidal tendency

Four07: thats crazy actually

Four07: i wonder how brian is gonna act when theyre on this trip then if thats how evan is gonna be

Kryoz: i hope they act like the happiest people there bc they probably are bc theyre in love and no one has been in love like they are

Four07: they really are

Kryoz: is that why you broke up with david? because you guys dont act like that?

Four07: i dont think ive ever looked at someone like that before

Four07: and i mean i thought our relationship was solid but it didnt feel as strong as it shouldve been

Four07: i mean we've been together for years and i dont think i can recall a time we were like that

Four07: and i want that

Four07: and i think david deserves that

Four07: i cant keep him in something that my hearts not in

Kryoz: i feel like you just broke up with ME what the fuck

Four07: yk you always say that

Kryoz: im an empath what do you want me to say

Four07: yk john i feel like we just became best friends