#COMM

Chapter 18

I tried, really. I really tried to get my life going kasi 'di ba hindi naman dapat nagrerevolve lahat ng decisions ko kay Jasper? So when Aidan asked me out as friends daw, I tried my best to enjoy his company. After all, I really genuinely like Aidan. I mean, still kahit may bad blood between us, hindi pa rin kasi maaalis 'yung years worth of memories namin. He's still my first love, my first boyfriend, my first kiss.

Sobrang daming firsts that sometimes, the memories betray you for comfort and familiarity.

One morning, after days of continuous photoshoots, I finally had that rest day.

"Question," I told Kellan since si Nico, busy sa pagkain. I made a mental note of always feeding Nico kasi I just learned na literal pala na binibigay niya lahat ng earnings niya sa mom niya. Such a nice kid, that one.

Which was a good thing for me also, I think? I mean, hindi na ako super obsessed in feeding Jasper... kasi hindi ko rin naman siya nakikita na masyado. Sobrang bothering din naman kasi ng cranky aura niya! Parang nagtaksil ako sa kanya, e, wala namang kami!

"Since usually for the past Sundays ay nasa bahay lang ako while you guys go home, what happens if I go out tomorrow?" I asked.

"San ka pupunta, Ma'am?" Kellan asked.

I shrugged. "Maybe gagala."

"Bakit 'di na lang ngayon, Ma'am? Wala ka namang trabaho," he suggested.

Of course I couldn't say na hindi pwede today kasi may work si Aidan and tomorrow niya naman talaga ako inaya. Ewan ko ba sa sarili ko. Even though nakita naman nilang lahat na pumayag ako sa invitation ni Aidan, I still couldn't bring myself to openly talk about the fact that I just welcomed Aidan back to my life? Kasi I still feel like I was betraying them... Gulo.

"Bukas pa showing 'yung gusto ko na movie," I said instead.

Kellan nodded. "E 'di dito na lang din kami bukas, Ma'am," he replied like it wasn't a big deal na makukuha ko if ever 'yung rest day nila.

"Hala. 'Wag na pala. I'll just re-schedule," I said. Hindi kaya ng conscience ko. I mean, even though I promised Aidan na this time, it would push through na. Ilang beses ko na rin kasi siyang tinanggihan for all the lamest reasons. Pero mas hindi ko naman kaya na mawalan ng rest day sila Nico. 6 days, 24 hours a week na nga nila akong kasama... pati ba naman Sunday?

At saka baka pupuntahan ni Jasper si Helene. Ayoko namang maging kontrabida sa love story nila, if ever.

"Okay lang naman, Ma'am," Kellan urged. "Mas okay nga kay Nico na dito lang kami, e."

"Bakit naman? Don't you miss your families?" I inquired. I was just curious. Ilang months na rin kaming magkasama, but I virtually knew almost nothing about them. Puro kasi pagtukso kay Jasper ang ginagawa nila sa akin.

"Si Cinderella 'yan si Nico, Ma'am. Mas okay kapag dito sa inyo. Libre food pa no, Nico?" Kellan said to Nico who was joyfully eating. Sobrang takaw. Seriously, gaano ba kalaki ang tiyan ni Nico? Hindi ko na alam kung saan niya dinadala lahat ng kinakain niya. Maybe sa braso? Malapit na silang maging magka-level ni Jasper!

"Hala. Why Cinderella?"

"Pang MMK 'yang buhay ni Nico, Ma'am, baka malungkot lang kayo. E 'di ba broken-hearted ka pa kay Sir Jasper?" Kellan teased.

I frowned at him. "Talent mo talaga na ibalik kay Jasper 'yung usapan!"

He laughed. "E, Ma'am, kasi hanep talaga. Sa harap pa talaga ni Sir Jasper mo sinabi na makikipagdate ka sa ex mo!"

"E so what naman? There's nothing going on between Jasper and me," I confidently replied. As far as I was concerned, wala naman akong nilalabag na kahit ano'ng rule. I promised not to read too much into Jasper's vague actions. Ayokong maging permanent resident ng state of confusion dahil kay First Lieutenant!

"Pustahan nga, Ma'am?"

"Ang hilig mo sa pustahan!"

"Sige na, Ma'am," Kellan urged.

"Bakit muna ako papayag? At saka kapag nahuli kayo ni Jasper, sige kayo pag-iinitan na naman kayo nun," I warned them. Naaalala ko na naman 'yung parang dead inside na itsura nila nung bumalik ako. I still often wondered kung ano ba ang pinagawa ni Jasper sa kanilang dalawa ni Nico para maging ganoon ang itsura nila.

But instead of answering me, Kellan nodded and said, "Sir Jasper!"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. I froze. Gosh. Ilang araw kong hindi talaga nakita si Jasper! Hindi ko sure if it was because he's avoiding me or it was me who was avoiding him.

Wala pang kami pero sobrang confusing na talaga!

"Sir, may lakad daw po si Ma'am Maggie bukas. Kailangan talaga naming umuwi. Pwede po ba na kayo na lang?" Kellan said. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. I just told them na I'd re-sched! Sobrang traitor talaga!

"Is it important?"

"Sir, yes, Sir!" Kellan replied. Sobrang stiff nila talaga ni Nico kapag kausap si Jasper or Evan. "Si Ma'am Maggie naman po may date kasama si Sir Aidan, Sir!"

Oh, my God, he did not!

"Ah," Jasper replied. "Okay."

My lips parted. What?

"Just inform me about the details," Jasper said and then continued walking.

Bigla akong napa-tayo. Gosh. Nababaliw talaga ako sa mga nangyayari!

"Wait!" I shouted. Napa-hinto si Nico na apparently, another plate of food pala ang kinuha instead of water. "I can just re-sched. 'Di ba may pupuntahan ka tomorrow?"

Jasper looked at me. His face was expressionless. It made me worried. I liked it better when he's transparent... hindi 'yung ganito na hindi ko alam kung ano ang nasa isip niya.

"None," he replied.

"Wala? Not even family? Friends? Or girlfriend?"

Jasper cocked his head to the side. "My family and friends are well-aware about the consequences of my job, Ma'am."

"What about the girlfriend?"

Jasper's eyes locked with mine. If it weren't for the fact that he was in front of me, I would have clutched my chest and beg my heart to stop acting crazy. It was only Jasper! He wasn't even touching me, but his mere stares were enough to send my system into an overdrive.

First Lieutenant's effect was driving me crazy!

"I don't have a girlfriend, Ma'am."

"Sure?"

The side of his lips parted in amusement. "I think I'd be sure if I have a girlfriend or not, Ma'am."

"Hindi rin... Confusing ka kaya," I murmured enough for me to hear pero narinig niya pala! Not only freaking toned body, but bionic ears din 'tong si First Lieutenant!

"I'm not confusing, Ma'am. Some matters are just out of my control," Jasper replied. My lips parted again. "You have my number. Just tell me about the details. I'll see you tomorrow, Ma'am," sabi niya bago ako iniwan.

And as soon as Jasper was out of earshot, I heard Kellan and Nico's annoying ayie.

* * *

The next morning, I was conflicted. I was perfectly aware that it would only stir trouble if I went out with Aidan with Jasper lagging behind me. And both guys were alpha males who would not back down. And I was definitely not strong enough to stop the two of them, should they decide to break each other's neck!

So the next best thing was to cancel my plan with Aidan. It wasn't easy kasi nakakakonsensya talaga... but what could I do? Kahit kasi ano ang gawin ko, magkakaroon ng problema. So, in this way, everyone would be safe.

"When will I really see you, Maggie?" Aidan asked.

"I don't know," I replied. Maybe confusing din ako? Kasi hindi ko talaga outright masabi kay Aidan to stop trying. Kasi kahit naman totoo iyong sinabi niya na wala talagang nangyari sa kanila ni Ashley, still, the damage had been made. I couldn't trust him anymore.

Aidan sighed. "Okay," he replied with a tinge of pain.

Gosh. Why was it so hard to dump someone?! Nakakakonsensya!

After that call, feeling ko sobrang samang tao ko na talaga. Lately, Aidan had been nothing but nice and sweet, pero sobrang I feel wrong if I continue going out with him. I mean, alam ko naman na umaasa siya na magkakabalikan kami... but it's clear to me na hanggang friends na lang.

After my talk to Aidan, I decided to talk to First Lieutenant naman. Sa text na lang kasi baka matunaw na talaga ako. Ang intense niya naman kasi tumitig!

Me: Uhm hindi na tuloy yung lakad. Ayun thanks. Uwi ka na sa inyo

Jasper: Ah

Me: You're welcome :)

I was expecting at least another reply from him pero wala na agad akong nakuha! Sobrang annoying niya lang talaga!

Sinubukan ko na sa kwarto lang ako pero curiosity already and always got the best of me when it came to Jasper Alexander Ybañez. Kaya naman tumakbo ako papunta sa kwarto ni Cohen. From there kasi, kita iyong guest house. Good thing wala ang brothers ko dahil nasa basketball practice sila. God knew what kind of tukso I'd get kapag nalaman nila 'tong mga pinaggagagawa ko!

Pagsilip ko sa window, agad kong nakita si Jasper na may kausap sa phone. His forehead was creased and his eyebrows were knitted. I wasn't good at lip reading, but from where I was standing, it seemed like he was having a heated-discussion... though one-way lang yata. Parang sinisigawan siya nung kausap niya.

God, I felt bad for him.

I continued to stare. That made me want to envelop him in my arms because when the call ended, he looked really defeated. Hindi ko alam kung tama ba na bumaba ako para kausapin siya... pero alam ko naman na wala akong karapatan na gawin 'yun.

It's just so hard to be in a place where you don't know what you can and can't do.

Me: May other lakad ako. Pwede ka?

I saw Jasper reading my text. He was staring at the phone. Lumakas na naman 'yung tibok ng dibdib ko kahit hindi naman ako 'yung tinitignan niya.

Jasper: Where?

Me: Don't worry wala si Aidan

Jasper: And why will I worry?

Me: Hehe i don't know. But are you free?

Jasper: It's a part of my job, Ma'am.

Me: I thought Maggie na?

Me: Bakit Ma'am na naman tayo?

Me: I thought friends?

I was never the kind to annoy people over texts, but to erase that defeated look on Jasper's face, I was willing to go the extra-mile to be annoying.

Jasper: I don't want to be friends

Me: How about super friends?

Jasper: No

Me: Special friends?

Jasper: Okay

Sobrang umawang iyong labi ko! Ang bilis niya magyes sa pagiging special friends namin! As in I saw him reply yes agad pagka-send ko pa lang! Ayan na naman siya sa specialization niya na pagiging confusing!

Me: Good! Muntik na ako magoffer ng friends with benefits hahahaha

Kahit far ako from Jasper, I swear I saw him blushing! Oh, my God! I just made First Lieutenant blush!

Para akong stupid na naka-tingin lang kay Jasper habang nagbblush siya. Ilang beses siyang nag-attempt na magcompose ng text pero wala akong natanggap. He kept on erasing whatever his reply to me was.

Tapos...

Tapos...

Gosh, he smiled! I was so dead! Sobrang gwapo niya kapag naka-ngiti!

Me: Bihis lang ako, okay? See you later, Jasper!

I managed to type with my slightly shaking hands. I stole a quick glance bago ako tumakbo pabalik sa room ko. Naka-salubong ko pa sila Saint na obviously ay kababalik lang sa practice.

"Did you just got out of Cohen's room?" Psalm asked.

I nodded, slightly worried dahil baka malaman nila! "Uh... yes? I just borrowed pen."

And because Psalm's mind is half-occupied with basketball and stupid thoughts, naniwala siya sa lame-ass excuse ko. I immediately ran to my room and showered. Ang tagal-tagal kong nagshower tapos sobrang nahirapan ako mamili ng isusuot. Ni hindi ko pa nga alam kung saan kami pupunta pero ewan. Bahala na.

I settled for casual attire. I wore an A-line skirt and a cream chiffon blouse. I didn't even bother to wear heels dahil gusto ko mas matangkad sa akin si Jasper. I am too tall for an average woman. Good thing tall si Jasper kaya okay pa rin.

After convincing myself not to run downstairs, I made my way to the guest house. Pagdating ko roon, nakita ko si Jasper wearing his usual uniform.

"Can't you wear casual today?" I asked.

"Why?" he asked na akala mo hindi ko siya pinakilig kanina! Sobrang king of in denial din 'to!

"Uhm... pagtitinginan kasi tayo if you're in your uniform?" I said kahit hindi ko sure if okay ba 'yung reason ko. Pero kasi... sobrang stupid ko ba if I'd consider this as us going out? Kahit ako lang talaga ang aware.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"Secret."

"We can't leave unless the location is secured."

Kainis. Couldn't he act like today's not work day? Nakaka-sira ng vibes 'to si First Lieutenant.

"We're going to a mall," I said kasi 'yun ang safest answer.

"To?"

"Buy stuff."

"And you need to do that on a Sunday," he replied.

I nodded. "Yes. May problem ka ba 'dun?"

Umiling siya. "None, Ma'am."

"Maggie nga."

"It's either Ma'am or Siobhan, Ma'am," he replied. Habang sinasabi niya iyon, naka-tingin lang talaga siya sa mga mata ko. My heart raced wildly inside my chest.

"T-talaga?" I asked, my voice stuttering.

"Yes, Ma'am, there's no in between," he said, still staring intently.