#CTG06 Chapter 06

"Charisse Faith," Dad called. I immediately stilled in my seat. Every time I'd hear his voice, biglang bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko. It's as if I was being chased to my death—that's how I feel every time he'd call my name... And I knew that that wasn't how it's supposed to be. He's my father, after all... But this was how we all grew up—with tons of expectation on our shoulder.

"Yes, Dad?" I answered.

"Since you'll be on your third year next sem," he began. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa kutsara. "I was thinking if maybe you want to try working already? So that you can apply what you're learning in school."

My lips parted. Was... he serious? If I could proceed to my third year without my head exploding from all the things I needed to remember, I'd have eight subjects during the first sem—including Civil Proceedure. Tapos gusto niya na magtrabaho pa ako?

I wanted to ask him if he's trying to push me into having a nervous breakdown, but my question remained hidden in the side of my mind... I wonder what it would take for me to finally reach my breaking point and just tell him that I couldn't do it anymore?

"Can I think about it?" I asked.

"Of course," he said with a smile but I knew that he's already made up his mind.

God, I'd need better time management. Looked like I'd be working next year.

The rest of the breakfast was the usual—interrogation and morning report of our standing in school. Naka-hinga lang ako nang maluwag nang marinig kong umalis na iyong sasakyan ni Papa.

"Tell him no," Charlie said.

"No?"

"About the work thing. Tell him you don't want to work."

I scoffed. "As if he'll accept any answer other than yes."

Kinuha ko iyong bag ko. I wanted to go to school already because I never liked staying at home... but come to think of it, I never really liked staying in school, too, because I'm constantly reminded of all the subjects that I needed to pass.

I just wish for a day when I'd find a place where I can feel relaxed and not like I'm on the verge of mental collapse.

"You wanna be like me?" he asked in a more serious tone. Napa-tingin ako sa kanya. Charlie... used to be Dad's favorite. Now, he's like this egg shell that Dad walks around on. He was supposed to be the first lawyer in the family, but in the middle of his third year, he just snapped. Good thing Chase decided that he needed something from Charlie that day... Kung hindi? I wouldn't know what would happen.

"I'm okay," I said.

"Next year's the hardest. Don't work."

Ngumiti ako. "I'll be okay, Charlie," I said, smiling before I grabbed the bag and walked out of the house. Naglakad-lakad muna ako palabas ng village. I liked walking in the morning because it's the only time when my mind's free from thinking. Pinapabayaan ko iyong sarili ko na tumingin lang sa paligid at 'wag mag-isip nang masyado. But after that, pagdating ko sa school, that's when my day begins.

"Shit!" I uttered when I realized that my civil law codal wasn't in my bag. Kailangan ko pa naman 'yun ngayon! I chewed on my lower lip, deciding kung uuwi muna ba ako sa bahay para kunin... Pero paano kung makita ko si Papa? Minsan pa naman umuuwi 'yun sa bahay... Pero kailangan ko talaga 'yung codal... I doubted kung may magpapahiram sa akin dahil lahat kami kailangan 'yun...

Bahala na nga.

Bumaba ako mula sa library. Nagreready na para magbook ng sasakyan nang mapatigil ako dahil may nakita na naman akong naglalakad na sunflower.

"Good morning," Iñigo greeted.

"Morning," I simply replied, frowning because I saw how much I needed to pay for the ride home. Ang tanga lang kasi. Bakit hindi ko chineck?

"Good morning."

Napa-tingin ako sa kanya. "Good morning," ulit ko kasi parang tanga lang. Maglalakad na sana ako ulit palabas ng gate kasi kailangan kong maka-uwi agad para maka-balik din ako agad.

"Oh," sabi niya sabay abot ng paper bag.

"Ano 'yan?" tanong ko habang naka-tingin lang.

He laughed. I really needed to know what's the secret to his constant laughing. I wanted to be like him... but how?

"Regalo," sabi niya.

"Di ko birthday."

"Di lang naman kapag birthday pwedeng magregalo, Miss Indepen—"

"Stop calling me that!" sigaw ko sa kanya. Napa-hinga ako bigla nang malalim. Akala ko si Yago na iyong pinaka-makakapagpataas ng blood pressure ko, but Iñigo's proving to be a contender.

He laughed again. "Ang seryoso talaga," he said, still trying to get me to receive the paper bag he was holding. "Sa 'yo kasi 'to," sabi niya at nang hindi ko pa rin kunin, kinuha niya iyong kamay ko at siya na mismo iyong naglagay.

"Bago mo ako barahin kung ano ang gagawin mo d'yan kasi may codal ka na—"

Bigla kong binuksan iyong paper bag na bigay niya. It's the codal that I left at home... but this one's new... Pero naka-engrave na sa harap iyong buong pangalan ko.

"Puro dugo na iyong isang codal mo. Grabe naman kasi 'yung kagabi, parang gripo 'yang ilong mo—"

"Nasa 'yo codal ko?" I asked.

He nodded. "Pero binilan kitang bago."

Nilahad ko iyong kamay ko. "Akin na 'yung luma," I said, returning the new one to him. "Ayoko nito."

"Puro dugo na 'yun."

"Don't care," I answered. That's my codal ever since I was in college. That's important to me. Nandun lahat ng highlights at notes ko. "I appreciate the gesture, but I need my old codal—"

"Buksan mo muna 'to," he said, handing over the new one.

"Iñigo—"

"Cha," he said, cutting me off and effectively making my teeth grit in frustration.

Muli akong huminga nang malalim. It's barely a month of knowing Iñigo, but I felt like I already aged a year sa sobrang kulit niya. This guy doesn't know how to take no for an answer.

Mabilis kong binuksan iyong bagong codal pero nasa kanya pa rin ang mga mata ko. There's this giddy and excited look on his face kaya bigla akong kinabahan... Ano ba ang naka-lagay dito kaya ganyan siyang ka-excited?

"Alam ko importante sa 'yo 'yung codal mo kasi 'yun na 'yung kasama mo mula undergrad ka," he said, smiling widely. "I also think that you're the kind of person who dislikes changes... but some changes are good, you know?" he continued, tilting his head to the right, still sporting that grin on his annoying face.

I began to flip the pages on the new codal. My lips parted when I saw the familiar highlights and notes. Agad na nabaling ang tingin ko kay Iñigo. Naka-ngiti pa rin siya.

"Kagabi ko lang naiwan 'yung codal," I said, finally realizing that I wasn't stupid for leaving my codal at home... Naiwan ko nung kasama ko siya dahil nagpapanic siya sa pagdudugo ng ilong ko.

He nodded and tapped his bag. "Nandito pa rin naman 'yung codal mo kung gusto mo... pero puro dugo talaga, Cha. Hassle ilabas. Pagtitinginan ka kapag gamit mo."

I was breathing hardly while standing in front of him, the new codal in my hand... Iyong codal na nilagyan niya ng highlights kagaya nang highlights ko dati pati notes ko.

"Nandyan lahat ng notes mo, don't worry. Pati 'yung page flags—pero hindi kagaya nung sa 'yo kasi iba 'yung sa 'kin."

"Why are you doing this?" I asked. I didn't know what he wanted. And I didn't want to constantly wonder why he's doing this. Marami akong kailangang gawin. Wala akong time isipin siya.

"Wala naman," sagot niya.

"So, out of boredom, bumili ka ng codal at naisipan mo na maghighlight at magsulat ng notes ko?"

He shrugged. "Hindi naman buong codal may highlights. Iyong obli, family code, sales—"

"Wag kang pilosopo."

He laughed. "Ang sungit talaga..." he said with that annoying smile of his. "Consider that as thanks for helping me in obli?"

"A simple thank you would've sufficed," I said.

"You're making me want to shower you with more kindness."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for... this," I said, showing him the new codal. Tumalikod na ako at nagsimulang maglakad nang marinig ko na naman iyong mahinang pagtawa niya. Ni hindi pa ako nakaka-layo nang maramdaman ko na nasa gilid ko na naman siya.

"Di mo na kukunin 'yung isang codal?" he asked.

"Sa 'yo na."

"Okay," he said. "Ganda ng notes mo sa obli. Kopyahin ko?"

"Bahala ka."

"Sungit."

"Thanks."

He laughed. May sasabihin pa sana ulit siya kaya lang natigil siya sa paglalakad nang may naka-salubong kami na babae. Mukhang med student dahil naka-uniform ng college of medicine. I wanted to continue walking, but my traitor eyes betrayed me and took a quick glance of the girl in front of us.

It seemed like Iñigo has a type...

Kahawig ni Katherine—not physically, though. Katherine looked like she'd claw you anytime... but at the same time, she looks very cute. It's so weird sometimes. Kagaya ng babae sa harap namin ngayon. She's cute. Ganoon pala ang type ni Iñigo.

So, bakit niya ako kinukulit? I'm far from cute. I have what they call resting bitch face.

Tinawag nung babae iyong pangalan ni Iñigo. That was my cue to leave. I didn't want to listen to their conversation kaya naman dumiretso na ako sa library.

"Hi."

Tumingin ako sa paligid. Wala ng ibang space. Kasalanan 'to ni—

Huminga ako nang malalim. No use in blaming anyone.

"Hi," sagot ko kay Katherine at nilagay ko iyong bag ko sa ibaba. I pulled the chair and sat beside her. Gusto ko sanang lumabas, pero baka ma-offend siya kapag iniwan ko siya dito. Pero ang awkward din. Ang awkward niya kasi sa 'kin. Hindi ko naman aagawin sa kanya si Jax. Ang weird din naman kung sasabihin ko sa kanya 'yun. Hindi rin naman pwede na 'wag kong pansinin si Jax kasi magkaklase kami.

So, I did what I thought at that time was the best to do...

Nagtulug-tulugan muna ako.

I got the shawl from my bag at nagtakip muna ako. I plugged the airpods in my ear and listened to a recorded discussion about Insurance. Mamaya na lang ako aalis para hindi obvious na ayoko siyang kagabi.

I was in the middle of listening when the speaker paused. Kaya naman may narinig akong pamilyar na boses na kausap ni Katherine.

"Ang baba talaga ng quiz ko..." I heard Katherine said. "Balita less than 10 lang daw ipapasa sa bawat section... Babagsak talaga ako..."

I heard that laugh.

"Papasa ka," Iñigo said. "San ka ba nahihirapan sa Obli? 'Di ka ba tinuturuan ng boyfriend mo?"

"Busy 'yun... Ayoko istorbohin. Okay naman; babasahin ko na lang ulit mamaya."

"San ka nahihirapan?"

Akala mo ang galing sa obli. Magtuturo pa.

"Iyong sa Statute of Fraud," Katherine said. "Medyo nalilito ako sa rules."

I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes when I began to hear him explaining to Katherine the things that I explained to him few nights ago. I grabbed my phone and instead listened to a music and drowned their voices from my head.