#CTG21 Chapter 21

"Kinds of independent civil action?"

My eyes focused on the book in front of me. I refused to look at Iñigo. Ni hindi ko nga siya magawang tignan kanina nang pumasok ako sa room... but even then, I still managed to feel his eyes on me... as if he was questioning me... na kung bakit ganoon ang tingin ko sa kanya.

It wasn't something I could control. All my life, I worked for everything that I got—everything. My Dad's rich... but he wasn't very generous. Growing up in my family, we weren't handed everything. Kung may gusto ko, pagtrabahuhan mo. You got low grades? Expect a verbal lashing, lower allowance, and being ignored during breakfasts.

"Violation of civil rights, violation of political rights, defamation, fraud, physicial injuries, and neglect of public officers," Iñigo answered.

"Example?" Atty asked.

"Examples, Sir, would be Articles 32, 33, and 34 of The New Civil Code, Article 135 of The Labor Code, and Section 5 of the Anti-Sexual Harrassment Act," he answered. "The underlying concept of this consideration, as provided by The Civil Code Commission, is to allow the citizen to impose his rights in a private action brought by him regardless of the action of the State Attorney. While the State is the complainant in a criminal case, the injured individual is the most concerned because it is he who suffered injuries. He should be allowed to demand reparation for the wrong which particularly affects him."

The recit dragged on longer than usual. Sa bawat tanong ni Atty, nakaka-sagot si Iñigo. It began to feel like Atty was testing kung hanggang saan ang sagot ni Iñigo... and he had an answer for everything.

I wanted to be impressed—he was impressive...

Maybe if this did happen before, my lips would part and I'd admire him even more... But everything was already marred by the thought that what if he already knew the questions prior? I'd always have that thought.

"That will do," Atty said. I looked at my watch. The recitation took 45 minutes. It usually lasts for 10 or 15 minutes—depending on the question and how the student phrases his answer—if it would require follow up questions.

Because Iñigo's recit took most of the time, konti na lang ang natawag pa. Nang i-dismiss kami, nakita ko na kinausap lang niya si Katherine bago mabilis na lumabas. I focused my gaze back to my things. Why was I even surprised? Our last conversation wasn't nice. I was expecting this... Heck, I even asked for this. Kasi hindi ko alam kung paano siya kakausapin. I didn't want to talk to him because I didn't want to say the wrong words. I wanted to be careful with my words.

He's smart, that's a given, but that doesn't excuse what he did. Hindi lang naman siya ang pagod. Lahat kami dito pagod—pero hindi lahat kami ginagawa iyong ginagawa niya. That's our difference.

And honestly, that's an irreconcilable difference on my part.

* * *

I decided I didn't want to wallow about something I didn't have control over. I'd just end up frustrating myself and that's not something I could afford lalo na ngayon na halos patapos na iyong first sem...

This time next year, I'd be taking the BAR.

I needed my whole attention on that and that alone.

I made a mental computation of my grades and I was pretty sure that I'd pass on all of them. Maayos naman lahat ng quizzes at recit ko sa review class dahil doon halos napupunta lahat ng oras ko. Iyong sa Torts, I just needed to maintain my standing para sigurado na papasa ako. I was well-aware that my midterm standing wasn't up to par because of some of my quizzes. But I was sure I'd pass basta wala akong sobrang mababang score ngayong finals.

Nag-ayos ako ng condo. I wanted to arrange my books according to schedule. I finally had the courage to ask Chase na dalhin sa akin iyong mga libro ko galing sa bahay. He just quietly dropped them off without saying anything. I could understand if he's pissed because I left him alone with our Dad... But he didn't say anything.

O baka naiintindihan niya. Kagaya ng pag-intindi ko nang iyong ibang kapatid namin ang umalis. Because we all just wanted to leave that house... And we could never blame anyone for taking the faster way out.

"Right," I said as I was staring at the 2 books in front of me. I completely forgot about these two. Iyong Consti books na ipinahiram sa akin ni Iñigo nang kakaalis ko pa lang sa bahay at wala akong kahit na anong libro na dala...

This was exactly why I initially wanted to avoid him. Alam ko kung ano ang sasabihin ko kapag tinanong niya ako—pero ayokong sabihin. Kasi naging mabait siya sa akin. Gusto kong ibalik sa kanya... Pero hindi ko alam kung paano.

I didn't know how to justify with myself how he's going about with school... And I didn't exactly want to do that.

Inilagay ko iyong dalawang libro sa paperbag. I'd just give those to him kapag nakita ko siya sa school. Or maybe ilalagay ko na lang sa ibabaw ng upuan niya tutal ayaw niya na rin naman yata akong kausap.

I forced myself to cook. It was Sunday. Mamayang hapon pa ako naka-schedule na mag-aral. Gusto kong maglinis pero wala akong lilinisin. Pero mabilis din akong natapos magluto. Wala akong gustong panoorin o basahin.

"Tanga," bulong ko sa sarili ko nang kunin ko iyong paper bag at nagsimulang lumabas sa unit ko.

I hated how I knew the direction to his place kahit isang beses pa lang akong naka-punta. Kung sana hindi ko alam, wala akong dahilan para pumunta ngayon. Pero alam ko. Wala akong magawa. Hindi ko mapigilan iyong mga paa ko.

Just a few minutes later, I was already standing outside his place.

"Just give it to him and leave," I told myself after a few more minutes of just standing there. I just needed to do this and get it over with.

Huminga ako nang malalim.

I was about to knock on his door when it swung open. My lips parted when I realized who it was.

"Gracey," I uttered.

Kumunot ang noo niya. "Cha... right?" she asked.

Para kaming tangang naka-tingin sa isa't-isa. We were never formally introduced but we already knew each other. I stared at her. She's—she's a lot like Katherine. God, Iñigo really has a type!

"Pasok ka," sabi niya. "Umalis si Iñigo, e."

I pressed my lips. Umalis si Iñigo... pero nandito siya? Ganito ba talaga kapag ex girlfriend? Bakit si Katherine hindi naman pumupunta sa bahay ni Jax? Kulang na nga lang magset ng parameters iyong dalawa na 'yun sa school para hindi talaga sila nagkikita, e.

"No," I said. "Dinala ko lang 'to."

I tried to hand over the paper bag I was holding, but she merely opened the door wider. "Babalik din naman 'yun mamaya. Pasok ka muna."

"No, thank you," I politely replied. I wanted to add na baka hindi rin naman ako gustong papasukin ni Iñigo dito dahil galit iyon sa akin, but that's none of her business.

Gracey looked at me and smiled.

"Pasok ka na. Hintayin mo na lang siya tapos ikaw magbigay niyan," sabi niya sabay turo sa hawak ko.

"Iiwan ko na lang dito sa labas kung ayaw mong tanggapin," sabi ko. Natawa siya bigla. Even her laughter sounded gentle. Sobrang hinhin niyang magsalita.

"No wonder he's so worked up," she mentioned.

"Excuse me?"

She smiled. "Come on in. May food naman dito. Meryenda tayo habang wala pa si Iñigo."

Tumalikod siya at naglakad. I sighed. Ano na naman 'tong pinasok ko? Dapat nag-aaral na ko para sa Legal Medicine, e... Counted ba 'tong pakikipag-usap ko sa doctor?

Pagpasok ko, agad napa-tingin sa paligid. It looked cleaner than the last time I saw the place. May nakita din akong walis. Naglilinis ba si Gracey? Dito ba siya naka-tira?

"I don't live here," she said. Kumunot ang noo ko. "No, I don't read minds," she continued. She smiled. "Baka kasi iyon ang iniisip mo..."

"I wasn't thinking anything."

She smiled still. "Okay... but just clarifying things. Hindi ako naka-tira dito. I just visit him weekly to check on him."

"Thank you," I said when she placed a glass of orange juice in front of me.

"Do you want to ask?"

Umiling ako. "Hindi. Iiwan ko lang naman talaga 'yung libro."

She laughed. "Kaya naman pala sobrang—" she said, and then just stopped. "Nothing."

I looked at her, my lips pressed into a firm line. Kaya naman pala sobrang? I hated unfinished sentence. Sana hindi na lang sinabi kung hindi tatapusin.

She looked at me, her brows arched. "Curious?"

"No."

She shrugged. "Suit yourself."

Ilang minuto ang lumipas na walang nagsasalita sa aming dalawa. Nagkaroon lang ng ingay nang may tumawag sa cellphone niya. She began to talk like a doctor—galing siguro sa ospital iyong tawag.

"Sorry about that," she said after the call finished.

Tumayo ako. "Pakibigay na lang—"

"Cha," she said. I looked at her. "Iñigo's really smart."

"I know," I replied, not knowing where she's going with this. I just wanted to go. She's Iñigo's ex... but I like her. There's nothing not to like. And I didn't want to be the kind of person who'd hate someone without basis. It wasn't enough that she's Iñigo's ex...

The fact that Iñigo was once with her means that she's good. Kasi hindi naman magiging sila kung walang maganda sa kanya.

"He didn't mean to tell me this but he was just so upset that time kaya nasabi niya," she began. I knew then kung ano ang pag-uusapan. "He's not a cheater—"

"He is," I said, cutting her off. "He has a reason for doing that, I understand, but let's not kid ourselves and say that it's not cheating. Let's call a spade a spade, Gracey."

She pressed her lips. "Fine, Miss Future Lawyer, what's your basis for saying that he's a cheater?"

"He sent me the files."

"He just got those from his frat," Gracey said. "Nakita mo ba mismo gamit iyong dalawang mata mo na binabasa niya?" tanong niya. "What? Hindi ka maka-sagot? Kasi hindi mo naman nakita, 'di ba?"

I stood up.

"It's just a little conversation... Akala ko ba mahilig kayong mga law student sa debate?" she asked, smiling.

"I don't want to talk about this particular topic."

"Why not?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

Gracey looked at me. "You know what, I liked you because of the things Iñigo told me about you... But then here you are, refusing to listen to an explanation of what could've happened... Maybe you're not all that, Miss Viste."

My breathing started to deepen. Just how much did Iñigo talk to her about me? Akala ko ba ayaw niyang sabihin ako kay Gracey dahil awkward dahil ex niya 'to?

"I never really claimed to be all that," I said before I left and regretted that I even went here in the first place.

* * *

"Count the score. After this, I won't be accepting changes in the grades," Atty said as he distributed the test booklet. It was already finals pero ngayon pa lang ipinapakita iyong score nung midterms exam.

I heaved out a sigh of relief nang makita ko iyong score ko. 86. Good enough. I just needed to maintain this and I'd finally put this subject behind me for the rest of my life.

After we returned the paper, Atty said, "I'm disappointed with the result of the class as a whole. Did you really review? You're all in your 3rdyear of law school already. I expect better. You're not in 1styear anymore where this kind of stupidity is understandable. The questions were basic..." he began his whole 20 minutes of litany. Tahimik lang ako hanggang sa natapos siya. "Bring out your yellow pads. We'll have a quiz. If your whole class performs well in this quiz, maybe I'll give additional points."

Attorney began to dictate the question. My whole body was slightly shaking. I wasn't prepared for this quiz! Nasa finals na iyong inaaral ko at midterms topic iyong sinasabi niya. But I needed this grade! 86 was okay... but I needed line of 9. That's always been my goal.

When he finished dictating the questions, we were given 15 minutes to answer. Halos hindi ko na mabasa iyong sulat ko sa sobrang pagmamadali. I wanted to finish answering all the questions dahil sayang naman kung may maiiwan akong blangko.

"Exchange papers," Atty said. Pinapasa niya iyong mga papel hanggang sa aisle tapos nag-exchange iyong dalawang row. Atty began to say the correct answer to the questions and we finished checking quickly. "Return the paper to the owner and then pass it."

I passed the paper back to the aisle and waited for the return of mine. Nang maka-balik sa akin iyong papel ko, kunut ang noo ko nang makita ko na 13 out of 20 lang ang score ko. My eyes quickly landed on the handwriting on the bottom of the paper.

Corrected by Borromeo, Iñigo

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Ilang ulit akong huminga nang malalim bago ko binuksan iyong mga mata ko. I checked my answer... Baka kasi mali talaga ako...

Begrudgingly, I stood up and walked towards his seat.

"Tama naman 'to," sabi ko sabay turo sa ilang items. May mali akong sagot. Tatlo lang. Pero minalian niya iyong iba.

"Kulang ng letter s," he said, not even looking at me and just looking at my paper.

I gritted my teeth. "How about this?"

"Di ko mabasa," he said. "Magulo 'yung sulat mo."

"Are you being serious?"

"Pa-double check mo kay Sir kung gusto mo," he said, and then stood up. Agad akong napa-atras dahil sa biglang pagtayo niya. I forgot how tall he was... and how domineering he felt at this moment.

He's so serious.

His face was grim.

There was no trace of the old Iñigo I used to talk to.

Mabilis niyang ipinasa iyong papel niya pabalik kay Sir. My eyes saw his score. Of course he got the perfect score. Everything he did in this class was perfect—kulang na lang palitan niya si Sir.

I looked at my paper. I already got 86... That's considered high by many already... Pero mas tataas sana iyong grade ko kung maayos iyong quiz...

Tinignan ko si Sir. May kausap siyang estudyante na nagpapa-correct. I saw how his mood wasn't ideal... And I didn't want to risk it. Sinabi niya nung first day pa lang na mas mataas iyong expectation niya sa mga second taker dahil dapat alam na namin lahat 'to...

Fuck Iñigo!

Mabilis kong ipinasa iyong quiz ko bago kinuha iyong bag ko at lumabas. I couldn't confront Sir about my grades, but I could confront someone about it. He's so fucking annoying! Minalian niya iyong sagot ko dahil lang according to NCC iyong nilagay ko at hindi iyong exact provision?! He's being unreasonable! Pati grades ko dinadamay!

Akala ko maiikot ko na iyong buong floor nang hindi siya nakikita. I stopped when I saw him at the end of the hallway. Walang tao doon dahil under construction iyong auditorium. He was fiddling with his phone. I walked to him.

"Kung may problema ka sa 'kin, 'wag mong idamay 'yung grades ko."

Ibinaba niya iyong phone niya at tinignan ako. "Sabi ko 'di ba ipa-check mo kay Sir kung may problema ka?"

I pressed my lips. "You're being a fucking asshole right now."

He looked at me. His eyes were so intense that I almost backed away from him. This wasn't Iñigo... This was some fucking frat boy who think the school owes him everything...

"I just did what you want. You're a stickler for rules, right? Sinunod ko lang naman kung ano iyong eksaktong sagot na sinabi ni Sir."

Palalim nang palalim iyong paghinga ko.

"Kausapin mo na lang si Sir, Charisse. Baka kung tinama ko 'yung sagot mo sabihin mo dinaya ko—"

"You're acting like a fucking kid," I said, my chest heaving in anger as I tried to breathe evenly. I could feel tears forming in my eyes as the frustration I was feeling for him got stronger by the second.

Gusto ko siyang intindihin... pero paano ko siya iintindihin kung ganito siya?

"I'm acting like a kid?" he asked, his jaw visibly clenched. "I'm acting like a kid when I just did what you would've done? Kasi 'di ba ganon ka? Kailangan sunod lahat sa rules? Sunod sa lahat ng gusto ng tatay mo? Sunod sa lahat ng gusto ng school? Sunod sa—"

I slapped him.

"Fucking kid," I gritted. "Para kang bata."

Mabilis akong tumalikod, pero naramdaman ko ang hawak niya sa kamay ko.

"I'm not a kid!" pagtataas niya ng boses.

"Then stop acting like one! Stop being mad at me for thinking that what you're doing is wrong! Because it's wrong, Iñigo! 'Di lang ikaw nahihirapan! Pero 'di lahat kagaya mo na nagsho-shortcut!"

"Miss fucking high and mighty," he said, his hold on my tightening.

I used my other hand to slap him. He looked at me with such fire in his eyes that I almost wanted to run... pero saan ako tatakbo? Walang tao sa paligid. It was only us and some fucking hollow blocks scattered on the floor.

"Nakaka-dalawa ka na..." sabi niya habang naka-tingin sa akin. Mahigpit pa rin ang hawak niya sa braso ko.

"Gagawin ko 'yang tatlo kapag 'di ka tumigil na umarte na parang bata," I said, my chest heaving as I stared at his blazing eyes.

"Bata talaga, Charisse?" tanong niya habang humakbang palapit sa akin. Agad akong napa-atras... at napa-atras hanggang sa maramdaman ko iyong malamig na pader sa likod ko. "Ginagawa ba 'to ng bata?" muli niyang tanong bago ibaba ang mukha sa akin. My eyes widened. I couldn't move. All I could think about was how his lips were pressed against mine.

I could feel his heart beating against mine.

I couldn't move.

I was afraid to move.

"Tell me to fucking stop," he whispered against my shaking lips. "I don't want to hear you tell me that I'm not only a cheater, but a fucking sexual offender as well."

He was staring at me... waiting for a reply.

I couldn't move... still.

He took a step back.

"I'm sorry for that fucking kiss," he said. "Just go report me to the Dean's office—" sabi niya pero mabilis ko siyang sinampal. "What the hell—"

But even before he could hurt me again with his words, I pulled him close and this time, kissed him for real.