#CTG28 Chapter 28

"Congrats, Cha," Chester said, handing me the bouquet of flowers. All of my brothers were here... I wanted to ask them where Dad was, but I chose not to. It's my graduation day and I didn't want to ruin it by asking about him. Kayang-kaya niya talaga akong tiisin.

"San mo gustong kumain?" Chester asked.

"Wala akong pera..." I honestly replied. Kaka-bayad ko pa lang sa review center and I really wanted to stay in a hotel sa BAR weekend. Mas maganda kasi kung doon para mas mabilis makarating sa akin iyong mga last minute tip.

Ahia chimed in. "My treat."

I grinned. Manlilibre si Ahia, that's new! "Okay!"

It's my graduation. Ayokong malungkot. Today's a happy day. After 4 grueling years, naka-tapos din ako sa pag-aaral. At some point, I almost gave up, but I persisted... And thankfully, I reached the finish line... At least here in school. Alam ko naman na hindi dito natatapos. I still needed to pass the exam and to be a damn good lawyer... But today's worthy of celebration.

Nagpaalam ako sa mga kapatid ko na magpapaalam lang ako sa mga kaibigan ko. I immediately saw Jax with his family. Jax was frowning because his mom's forcing them to take pictures. Napa-ngiti na lang ako. If only Katherine's here, I could definitely say that Jax's life is already complete...

"Hi, Tito, Tita," I greeted. As usual, Joey was frowning at me. I learned to just ignore that. Jax's parents congratulated me. They asked me kung may kasama ako ngayon and even offered na sumama ako sa dinner nila, much to Joey's dismay. I just declined dahil kasama ko naman iyong mga kapatid ko ngayon. I was really happy that they went. Alam ko naman na busy sila lalo na si Chester at Ahia.

"Nakita ko si Katherine sa labas," I told Jax.

He simply nodded, abruptly ending any further discussion. If there's one thing I know about Jax, he's extremely hardheaded. You can't make him do something that he doesn't want... At kung ayaw niyang kausapin si Katherine, wala akong magagawa doon. Hell, sarili nga niyang kapatid hindi niya masyadong kinakausap, e. Ako pa kaya?

"Nakita mo si Rory?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No," he replied.

I pursed my lips. It's another reason why I couldn't be completely happy about this graduation. Yago and Rory broke up. Yago went to Seattle and didn't even bother to attend our graduation. Si Rory... I couldn't even begin to describe how she was. I couldn't help but feel pity every time I'd see her. She's a complete wreck.

I didn't want to be like her.

She looked so helpless... all because of one person.

One person who had the power to destroy you simply by just walking away.

"I'll just be having dinner with my brothers and then I'll go to Rory's condo," I said.

Jax nodded. "Okay. Diretso din ako dun pagkatapos namin. Ako na lang bibili ng pagkain."

"Good. Wala na akong pera," I said and he just rolled his eyes at me. Mabilis akong bumalik sa mga kapatid ko. We went to dinner and Ahia really paid... which was so weird dahil kuripot talaga siya. I guess he's really happy about my graduation that he decided to treat us.

I really wanted to spend more time with my brothers dahil bihira ko lang silang makita... but I also knew that Rory needed us the most right now... Kaya naman nagpaalam din agad ako sa kanila at dumiretso sa condo ni Rory. And thank God I did that because if I arrived even just a few minutes later, she could've drowned in her own vomit.

* * *

There were lots of review center in Manila... but the one that I wanted costed more money... Mas mataas kasi ang passing rate nila kumpara sa ibang review center. Of course I wanted to go there. That's the ultimate goal—to pass the BAR and finally become a lawyer.

But living for a year on my own, paying for all my things, it eventually drained my savings.

"Surprised you accepted my offer," Atty. Cabo said when I arrived at his office. I tried applying for other jobs, but there were no vacancies and I really needed the money immediately. Naibayad ko na iyong huling pera ko sa review center at baka paalisin na ako sa condo ko kapag hindi ako naka-bayad ngayong buwan.

I really didn't want to go here... I didn't want to see Iñigo's face. He called me a fucking asshole just because I wanted to protect myself. I understood him, really, but he didn't extend the same understanding to me. I guess we're really better off on our own separate ways.

"Start na ba ng review mo?" he asked.

I nodded. "Every weekends," I replied. "But October, I'll take a leave dahil araw-araw na 'yung review ko."

"Of course," he said, nodding. He began to brief me about the things I needed to do. I just needed to assist him with his pending cases, reread the contracts, and write drafts. I'd honestly rather focus all my energy on reviewing, but I needed the money. I didn't want to ask for my brothers for help. Hindi rin naman kasi sila humingi sa akin nung sila iyong umalis sa bahay... but they all landed on their feet. I guess I'd be fine. I just needed to push through.

Buong araw kong hindi nakita si Iñigo. Hindi ko matanong kung dito pa ba siya... Hindi naman porke wala siya dito ay hindi na siya nagtatrabaho. Baka umalis lang siya kagaya nung dati.

I thought I'd be able to survive the week without any hitches, but come Friday, as I was getting ready to leave, napa-hinto ako nang makita ko si Gracey.

"Cha!" she shouted as she saw me. Agad na kumunot ang noo ko. Shit... Ibig sabihin dito din si Iñigo. "You're working here din?"

I simply nodded. I fought a yawn. Inaantok na ako. I wanted to go home and sleep. Maaga pa iyong pasok ko bukas para sa review. I needed to be there early para maka-kuha ng magandang pwesto. Ang mahal ng bayad ko doon kaya hindi dapat masayang.

"Weird... Wala man lang nagsabi sa 'kin..." she uttered to herself, but loud enough for me to hear. Then, she smiled at me. She's really... something. If Iñigo didn't tell me what happened to Gracey before, I'd think that she's been happy all her life. "Nakita mo ba si Rhys?"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "He's here?"

She nodded. "Yeah! One month na siya dito. 'Di ba kayo nagkita?"

The hell... Nandito si Rhys. Nandito si Iñigo. Nandito ako.

It's only a matter of time bago kami magkitang tatlo. Hindi naman ako pwedeng umalis basta-basta dahil tinanggap nga ako dito kahit sobrang biglaan lang ako nag-apply. I value work ethic. And besides, wala akong matinong reason kung sasabihin ko man na aalis ako. I just have to suck this up... Ilang buwan lang naman.

Si Rhys lang naman ang kailangan kong iwasan. Sigurado ako na hindi ako papansinin ni Iñigo. He's still mad at me—or whatever. Wala akong panahong isipin iyon.

"Wala ba siya?"

"Not sure," I replied. "Tanong mo na lang sa front desk."

I gave her a small nod and started to walk, but Gracey held my arm. She gave me a big smile and anchored her arm with mine.

"Oh, well, busy na naman yata. Ikaw na lang, samahan mo ako magdinner? My treat!" she said. I was about to say that I already so sleepy, but she continued with, "Sige na? I feel so down today... I could use some company..."

I looked at her and ask if maybe she needed to find Iñigo dahil siya naman ang best friend nito, but I decided to not say that. As much as I didn't like their friendship, I like Gracey. She's so nice. It's gonna be a lot of work to make me hate her.

Gracey dragged me to a samgyupsal place. Gusto ko sana na ako na lang iyong magluto para may ginagawa naman ako, but she insisted that I sit there while she cooks. She looked so serious and so sad. I wanted to ask, but figured I should keep my distance. She's Iñigo's best friend and it's just weird.

"Sorry ang boring kong kasama," she said.

"No, I like silence," I replied.

"Sabi nga ni Iñigo," she said, peeking at my reaction. "Di pa rin kayo nag-uusap?" I looked at her, arched my brow. She smiled. "Sorry... Narinig ko kasi 'yung pag-uusap niyo sa bahay nung December... I didn't mean to, pero nandun kasi ako sa gilid kaya narinig ko..."

Gracey put some of the cooked meat on my plate. She smiled at me.

"Wanna talk about it?" she asked.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Just don't feel like it."

"Pero—"

"Bakit 'di na lang problema mo pag-usapan natin?"

She sighed first. "Okay," she replied. "You wanna know why I'm sad? Kasi may patient ako... Alam ko naman na ano... Na hindi na talaga siya magtatagal... But still, it hurt when I saw her lying there lifeless... It hurt to hear her mom beg us to revive her only daughter... It sucked because I couldn't do anything... She's still so young, still had so much she could do... Pero wala... She's taken way too early..."

I pursed my lips, unable to come with any reply.

She looked at me.

"Pangatlo na 'tong beses na nangyari sa 'kin, but it still hurts... Sabi nila, one day, I'd be immune to the pain of losing a patient, but then again, ayokong mangyari 'yun... Kasi 'di ba nakakatakot? That your numb... Maybe not just from the pain, but from everything else... It's just so scary..."

And then she smiled.

"In retrospect, life's short, Cha. Kaya why don't you talk to Iñigo? He's just waiting for you to talk to him, you know?"

"You heard what he said, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah... I understand you both—"

"Gracey, it's obvious that you still like him. Bakit mo ba siya tinutulak sa 'kin?"

Agad na kumunot ang noo niya. "Ha? Wala akong gusto sa kanya!"

"Yeah, right," I said, snatching the tongs from her grasp.

"For real!" she said. "Cha, we're just best friends—"

"Sure."

She looked at me, her face slowly turning into a frown. Agad siyang tumayo at saka niyakap ako. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. Pilit akong kumawala, pero ayaw niyang bumitiw.

"You're making me extra sad!" she said.

"Bitawan mo nga ako!"

God! Nag-e-eskandalo pa kami dito! Ang daming naka-tingin sa aming dalawa dahil sa ginawa ni Gracey. She hugged me tight for one more time before she returned to her seat.

"Cha, we're seriously just best friends. It makes me sad that you think there's something going on between us... It makes me sad that you don't have a best friend who'd do what I do for Iñigo..."

She smiled sadly.

"That's called being best friends, Cha... I swear there's nothing more to it... It's just that we grew up together so we're very close. I'd take a bullet for him and he'd do the same for me. But there's no romantic feeling—"

"You dated."

"Yes. But there's this thing called moving on," she replied. "I just care about him a lot because his dad made me promise that I'd look after him. And I take promises seriously."

Hindi na ako sumagot pa. What's the point?

"Ako na lang magsosorry para sa sinabi niya..." Gracey said. "Mahirap kasi talaga sa tao na 'yun mag-open up kaya ganon na nasaktan sa ginawa mo... And alam mo naman na he likes you."

I arched my brow. "I don't think so."

"Oh, come on! Obvious naman na gusto niyo iyong isa't-isa. Kung hindi nga lang illegal, I'll kidnap you both and lock you in a room so that you two can talk about your issues! Sayang time, you know? I realized that again this morning... That life's so short. Seize the day. Live without regrets."

I stuffed my mouth with food. Gracey's paying. Sayang din.

"This is... seriously violating Iñigo's privacy, but I think you need to know this para alam mo naman kung san nanggagaling 'yung lalaki na 'yun," Gracey said.

"No, thanks," I said. "Wala namang kwenta. After I pass the BAR, I'll go look for work someplace else. 'Di na kami magkikita."

She scoffed. "You wish. Your world is small. Magkikita kayo ni Iñigo, I promise you that."

Gracey put another batch of meat on my plate and requested for a new platter. Hindi naman siya kumakain. Lagay lang siya nang lagay ng pagkain sa plato ko.

"You heard about the news na gumagamit ng kodigo si Iñigo, right?"

I nodded. Still hated that part of him.

"Well, because of that, wala siyang masyadong friends sa class nila... Ever wonder why he's only dating girls from my college before? Kasi mandaraya tingin sa kanya ng buong batch niya. There's this one subject na outlier si Iñigo kaya maraming natanggal sa batch nila nung nagcurve. It's not his fault kung mataas iyong grades niya. Dapat ba 'wag niyang galingan para sa iba?"

I averted my gaze.

I was one of those who judged him.

"So... It really surprised me when he told me about you... Kasi from College of Law ka, e. Iñigo told me he didn't want to get involved sa mga ka-college niya dahil nga sa kumakalat na balita... But then, that changed when he met you... He opened up tapos..." she smiled.

I remained silent. I still didn't know what she wanted from me. This thing with Iñigo... it couldn't be forced. It would happen when it should happen. Ayokong masyadong isipin.

"Pero hindi kita sinisisi, ha? Wala namang may fault sa inyo... Miscommunication lang—or lack thereof... But I really wish na maayos niyo kasi ang igsi ng buhay... We should always take the chance to be happy."

I looked at her. She was smiling. Why was it so easy for other people to be happy while I always have to think about every aspect, every possibility?

Why couldn't I just have that 'fuck it' attitude and go for what I want?

"Okay," I said.

"Okay what?"

"I will... talk to him."

"Talaga?"

"Yeah... Kung makikita ko siya," I said... which would be for a while... I just heard kanina na may ginagawa si Iñigo kasama si Atty. Buenasher. He wouldn't be around for a while.

She grinned. "Sure ka ba d'yan?"

"Why?" I asked, suddenly doubting what I said because of the way Gracey was grinning. Bigla siyang tumuro sa likod ko. Agad na nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita ko si Iñigo na patingin-tingin na parang may hinahanap.

"He was asking where I am!" Gracey said defensively. "In my defense, sinabi ko sa kanya na nandito ako even before you voluntarily said na kakausapin mo siya once na makita mo siya!"

I looked at Gracey... This devious girl. Mali talaga siya ng profession na napuntahan. She should be a lawyer. She's so manipulative.

"Iñigo! Here!" Gracey called his attention and then stood up. "CR lang ako," she said and hurriedly walked away. She's doing it again!

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. It's as if I could feel his presence even if he was just standing behind me. Iñigo took a seat in front of me. I averted my gaze when I noticed that he was wearing a formal attire. Hawak niya iyong coat sa kamay niya. He loosened his tie using his one hand. He looked like he just came from a hearing... O baka doon talaga siya galing. He's in his 4th year now... Baka galing siya sa legal aid.

"Hindi ko alam na nandito ka," he said, just staring at me.

"I'm sorry," I quickly said bago pa man magbago ang isip ko. "You're right. It was an asshole move."

"Buti alam mo."

"Just fucking take my apology, okay?"

He reached for the untouched glass of water and drank it. I watched as his Adam's apple bobbed up and down. Why was it so hard to be attracted and to be time pissed off at the same person?

"Sorry, okay?"

"Sure."

"Stop being an asshole."

"I'm not being an asshole, Cha. I accept your apology. It's okay. I just... don't expect anything from you anymore. I can't do whatever you're doing. Let's just be friends—or colleagues. I don't care. I just can't do complicated with you. Busy na din ako."

My lips parted. "Are you being serious?"

"Yeah," he said. "I have my review class and work. I'm busy, too."

For fuck's sake.

I faked a smile. "Good."

He smiled, too. "Good."