#CTG39 Chapter 39

"Ms. Viste." Agad akong napa-tingin sa tumawag sa akin. I noticed that it was Atty. Buenasher's secretary. "Nagleave po kasi si Sir Gab kaya pinapatanong po kung pwedeng mag-assist kayo sa pagpapa-sign ng NDA 'dun sa conference room 3?"

Shit.

Nandun si Iñigo sa kabilang conference room dahil siya iyong in charge sa NDA. I wanted to decline, but it wasn't as if I had a choice... Kaya wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang sumunod sa kanya.

Iñigo didn't notice me getting inside the room. He was on the far side at may kausap na matandang lalaki. The old man looked confused and Iñigo was explaining something to him. How frightening must it be to be bombarded with legal terms... Kahit na ang talagang sinasabi lang naman ni Iñigo ay pirmahan na iyong papel at 'wag na 'wag magsasalita tungkol sa kung anuman ang naging problema.

Part of the job.

"Ineng..." pagtawag sa akin ng matandang babae. "Ano ba itong pinapa-pirmahan?"

I looked at the woman in front of me. She looked like the woman I saw Iñigo talked to before—actually, lahat sila halos iisa lang ang itsura. They all resembled trusting people who you could persuade with words. Ano ba naman kasi ang alam nila sa ganitong mga papel? If you're not well-versed with the legalities, you could so easily get lost in the jargons.

'The company is my client,' I whispered to myself before I looked at the woman and gave her a warm smile. "Formalities lang po," I said, pointing at the part of the paper where she needed to put her signature.

As she was signing, I did as I was trained—I told her all about the things that she'd be getting once she signed the paper... But I failed to mention all the things she couldn't do anymore once the deal has been done.

Worse comes to worst?

It's her fault that she didn't read the contract thoroughly.

"Salamat, ineng," the woman told me after she finished signing the papers. I forced a smile even though I felt so fucking horrible because I just helped the company keep thousands of pesos and depriving this old woman of the money that she deserved.

I stood up.

"Marami pa—"

"I'll just go to the restroom," I said, quickly standing up. Mabilis akong pumunta sa CR at naghilamos. That was just one person... Marami pa akong kakausapin. I felt like my soul was drained just from that one seemingly innocent conversation...

How the hell could Iñigo do this every day?

"Few more days..." I said like an enchantment. Ilang araw na lang, matatapos na ang kontrata ko. I'd get another job that's far from this soul-sucking corporate job.

God, I never thought I'd actually consider doing criminal law, but I'd rather do that than to do all these lies and deception.

"Cha," Iñigo said. Agad akong napa-tigil sa paglalakad. I looked at him with questioning eyes. "Kakausapin ko na lang sila. 'Wag ka ng mag-assist."

"No, it's okay."

"Bumalik ka na lang sa cubicle mo."

"I said I'm fine."

He drew a deep breath. "Dun ka na—"

"Walang pakielamanan sa trabaho, 'di ba?" I retorted. Hindi ko sinasadya na magtaas ang boses ko. I just seriously wanted this day to be over. I didn't enjoy doing this particular job, but I needed to do this.

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Okay," he replied.

I nodded. "Okay," I repeated his word.

"Mamaya, dinner tayo?"

"Okay," I repeated.

He held my hands. "We're okay... right?"

I looked at him and nodded. "Yeah."

We're okay. As long as I could get a new job and convince myself that Iñigo's just working very professionally and beneath that cold exterior of his he's still concerned about his clients, I'd be okay.

Sabay kaming bumalik sa conference room at pinagpatuloy iyong ginagawa namin. At the end of the day, I felt like my soul was burned to the ground. I felt so awful lying straight at those people's faces. They didn't know what they're signing.

This job sucked.

* * *

"Cha," Iñigo said. We were in some fancy restaurant and we just ordered a steak that cost a few days' hard work. "Nakita ko ulit 'yung Papa mo... Tinatanong niya kung gusto mo raw magdinner sa bahay niyo sa isang araw. Birthday daw ni Chase."

I grabbed the glass and drank it all. "Okay."

"Okay ka lang ba?" he asked.

"Sure."

I signaled the waiter to refill my glass. This would be a long night kung pag-uusapan namin ni Iñigo ang tatay ko. I wasn't exactly the biggest fan of their newfound friendship. It was obvious that Dad only 'approved' of Iñigo now because he's basically like all his friends.

"Ano'ng ibibigay nating regalo kay Chase?"

Napa-tingin ako sa kanya. "Natin?"

He gave me an uneasy smile. He scratched the back of his head like he's real nervous. It was a far cry from the Iñigo from the conference room—the one who could lie flawlessly in front of those helpless people.

"Cha," he said, "Ayoko na nung ganito na walang label. Hindi ko alam kung ano tayong dalawa. Kapag tinatanong ako, hindi ko alam kung ano iyong tamang sagot."

I downed the glass again.

"We're basically together... Why don't we just make it formal?" he asked, looking directly into my eyes. He reached for my hand that was on the table and held it. I looked at him and—

"No."

It was an easy answer for me.

But it was difficult for him to comprehend.

"No?" tanong niya na parang hindi maka-paniwala.

"I'm okay with what we have," I replied. I didn't want to elaborate. I didn't want to discuss how I didn't want to be in a formal relationship with him when I was starting to question his fucking morality.

One day in that fucking conference room and I felt like my soul was already burning in fucking hell.

And he's been doing that for years... Without blinking his eyes...

How... could I be with someone like that?

"What we have?" he asked. "You mean all sex and no label?"

"Yes."

His jaw clenched and he reached for his glass of wine and drank it in one go. "Tungkol na naman 'to sa trabaho ko?"

"Yes."

He ran his fingers through his hair with palpable frustration. "Trabaho lang 'yun, Cha!" he said in controlled tone. We were surrounded with people and we were about to be in our biggest fight yet.

"It being your work is one thing, but you actually believing that it's just work is another," I calmly said. "I don't like who you're becoming, Iñigo Borromeo."

It felt as though a boulder had been lifted off my chest.

I didn't like what he's becoming.

I hated it.

"Bakit? Ano na ba ako, Cha?"

"Please don't ask me," I pleaded.

"No, tell me," he responded.

"Iñigo—"

"Nakaka-disappoint na ba talaga ako, Cha?" tanong niya sa mas mababang boses. His voice cracked a bit. "Akala ko naiintindihan mo ko? Tapos na tayo sa ganito, 'di ba? Alam mo naman—"

"If I don't care about you, then I wouldn't be this bothered, Iñigo. This is not how it's supposed to be. Hindi ganyan kabilis. Hindi ganyan kadami. You know it yourself. Ang dami nilang binibigay sa 'yo... Hindi ka ba nagtataka?"

He fisted his hand. "I work for it."

"You work your fucking conscience for it."

"Why can't you just be happy for me, Cha?"

Huminga ako nang malalim. "Para akong nakikipag-usap sa pader," sabi ko bago mabilis na tumayo. I quickly grabbed my bag and headed outside. I was fucking done with this day.

I didn't even get far when Iñigo grabbed my arm and made me face him. I quickly pushed him away from me.

"Don't fucking grab me like that!" I hissed.

"Ano ba'ng problema mo?!"

"Talk to me when you're ready to listen. Hindi 'yung pakiramdam mo lagi kang kinakawawa," I shot back at him before I turned my back and quickly walked away. But Iñigo followed suit. Ramdam ko ang bawat hakbang niya sa likod ko.

"Ilang beses ko bang ipapaliwanag na trabaho lang 'yun?! Tangina naman, ako lang ba gumagawa ng ganon?!"

I closed my eyes and drew a deep breath. I quickly bit my tongue. I had so many things to say, but I didn't want to say the words. The moment I say those things, I could never take them back.

"Pinag-aralan naman natin sa school 'yun, Cha! Na lahat may karapatan na ipagtanggol! Kasalanan ko ba na 'yung kliyente ko 'yung kumpanya? Kasalanan ko ba?!"

I walked faster. If I could fucking portal myself into another place, I gladly would.

"Nagta-trabaho lang naman ako para sa 'kin, para sa 'tin, para hindi na magalit sa 'yo 'yung Papa mo dahil kasama kita—"

I stopped and faced him.

"Don't fucking make this about me because I didn't ask you to sell your soul to the fucking devil," I told him.

His face showed how surprised he was that I actually told him what I was thinking. But it's been months and weeks of watching him do this thing day after day... He's been doing the same work like it's nothing and he'd go to me like everything's normal...

Who's to say who's the real him?

"So, lahat ng defense lawyer, binenta na 'yung kaluluwa, ganon ba, Cha?"

I pursed my lips. "God, you're infuriating!"

"And you're fucking judgmental!"

We stared at each other, both breathing heavily. I could feel my eyes starting to sting at the disappointment that I was feeling. I felt like I was already too late... That he's already been enticed by all the things he could get just by simply turning a blind eye.

Mabilis kong pinunasan iyong luha ko bago pa man siya tumulo.

"I don't want to be with you if you're like this, Iñigo."

His eyes began to water.

This night sucked.

"Ayaw mo na ba sa 'kin?" mahinang tanong niya.

I wanted to nod.

But I couldn't just walk away.

"I like you a lot," I said. "But I don't want to be more. I don't want to be your girlfriend. I don't want to care more. I don't want to be worried more. I don't want to look after you more. I don't want to have a say in your life."

Tumingin siya sa akin.

Ang lungkot ng mga mata niya.

"Ano'ng gusto mong mangyari?" tanong niya.

"I don't know..." I replied, looking into his eyes. "I'm sorry I ruined your birthday."

Ngumiti siya at pinahid iyong mga mata. "Does this mean we won't talk again? Kagaya ng dati?"

"We can be friends..." I offered.

"I can't be just friends with you, Cha," he replied.

I smiled. "You'll miss the sex?"

He laughed. "So much."

I took a step and wrapped my arms around his body.

"Happy birthday," I whispered against his chest. "We'll figure something out."