him;

                "I'm staring at the
                     mess I've made."

                              - Parachute, The Mess I Made

         I threw my bag to the floor and fell back on to my bed. My mother's tears and silent whimpers could be heard through my walls once again. I gritted my teeth, a sharp squeak going through my body as I did. My jaw clenched as my mother began to weep harder. She had just found out that her little baby was getting out of control and I was leaving soon to a boot camp.

            I shook my head at the nonsense. A boot camp. Like military was going to shape me up. In any way or form, I was not going. I would find something to make me stay and obviously school wasn't enough.

            Flickering my eyes shut, I could only see my mother's image. Her blonde, tangled hair was tied up in a messy ponytail. Her blue eyes now grey from her past. Her figure had become slimmer since I remembered and her face had natural frown lines. She had streaks down her face from when she wore make up. With all the tears, you would believe it would've vanished by now.

          She was so sad and it was partially my fault. I could've helped her; been a better son to her. But I was mad at everything else and had to take it out on her. Now my habits rub off on her, but instead of her getting addicted, she becomes departed. Departed from me and the world. Departed from herself.

            All because of me. Her horrible, destroyed son.

        I flew my eyes open. My eyes dilating for a few seconds; making my vision blurry. Picking myself up from the bed, I walked out of my room. I didn't stop either, I just kept walking. Down the stairs, out of the house, on the road. I didn't stop.

              And to be honest, I'm happy I didn't.

     ✗✗✗

          Stuffing my hands into my pockets, I began to shuffle my feet back to the sidewalk. It had been exactly two hours since I left my mother crying. Since she had told me what she had been planning on doing for a while, but never had to courage to do.

           The only thing keeping me company now were the dim street lights and flies buzzing around the old cementary I was just approaching. But other than that, not one person roamed the same streets as me and it seemed to happen to often. It's as if I had a disease that would stick with me forever. A haunting that would only terroize the people before me. Something that no body wanted; like cooties in the 1st grade.

          Shifting my body sideways, the sound of someone whispering came in front of me. Confused, I squinted my eyes and looked further forward into the graveyard. That's when my eyes laid upon an old man with different colored flowers in his hand. Multiple dead ones laid upon the old, scratched out grave.

              The old man's head turned to look at me. His hand reaching for a tissue in his pocket. I sadly grinned at him, his movements doing the same. I began to walk again, past the cemetery, and took a right towards the little towns shops.

            This street was beyond the brightest street on the town of Longhan. People chatted in the cafe or studied at the library. It was quiet and calm. A place I didn't belong.

             Tugging the sweatshirt tighter around me, my hands ended up pinching themselves on the zipper. Cussing under my breath and swinging my hand back and forth, I accidentally hit someone. A cuss also slipping from their mouths as I spun around.

              "I am so sorry," I replied, ignoring the bus as it drove off.

              "No, it's fi..." Her words faded as she looked up.

           "Are you kidding me!" I questioned, looking up to the stars. My hands followed my actions and my fingers flicked their way at the sky.

            "You would be a smart one and zip yourself into your sweatshirt." She grinned in a mocking manner.

            "Listen, Annie--"

            "An-na." She cut me off, fixing my pronunciation.

            "Anna," I hissed, grinning in a unprofessional manner, "what happened in detention--"

          "Didn't happen. I understand." She cut me again, making me stiff backwards and roll my eyes.

          "Glad you understan-"

          "and." She finished along with me. A smile appearing on her face.

          "You are highly annoying--"

           "Right now." She grinned widely. I lost my self control and stood there, counting down inside my head.

           9.8.7.6.5.

           Just leave, push past her.

           10.11.12.13

            That's not the right way, Lucas.

             20.21.22.24

             You missed 23, smart one.

           Her voice was now stuck in my head as we stood there, staring at each other. I guess this is the karma I get for hitting her in the throat. Please God, forgive me!

             "You done?"

              "Mhm."

              "You sure?"

               "Yep."

               "Then goodbye."

               "What?"

             "You don't care about me. I don't care about you. It's just a coincidence that we keep meeting each other."

              "You're horrible with women, aren't you?"

               "Go away."

                "You hit me!"

                 "Well I'm sorry. Guess I'll see you at school."

                 "You're being mean again Lucas."

                 "Whoever said you could call me Lucas?"

                 "You're birth parents when they signed your certificate."

                 "I have to go."

                 "Fine."

                 "Fine."

           I pushed past her. Her eyes travelling as I left her side. Something on her face that was different; a frown.

               I erased our conversation and continued on my afternoon, walking away from things.

               Just like always.