Connor Pov

       I felt guilty as anyone could feel. He was so sorry and I wasn't. My actions were justified. I deserved what I did. After all, I'm a cheater. I broke his trust yet he doesn't even know.

  Troye pov

      We kissed for awhile. It was a hunger of pent up frustration between the two of us with all that's going on. He pulled away abruptly and said "I'm sorry I just can't do this."  The look in his eyes said he was in pain and told me I should be going.

Reluctantly, I got up from the couch we were tangled up in and left. Walking back I couldn't stop thinking of what just happened. He didn't love me anymore. I could tell.

Something else was different. It's not just all the cutting and lack of eye contact. There was somejing deeper and more complicated than all of this.

I wanted to know more and I didn't until that night.

Connor rang me up on my cell phone. I was hesitant to answer but then decided it's better to confront the problem than ignore it forever. 

   "Listen, Troye.  There's something I need to talk to you about that you're not going to like..." Trailed on Connor.
I gulped in dear and was silent for a moment.

"Y-yeah?" I stuttered. Nervous that this was it, he was breaking up with me.

   "I only hurt myself out of guilt. F*ck I"m so sorry Troye..." He stammered, sounding slightly drunk. " it's just that.."

   I cut him off telling him it's alright that he's struggling and that I'd be there for him. Noises that sounded like sobbing followed then silence.

  "NO you don't get it Troye! I'm a terrible person. You know what I did? DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?" He yelled  through the phone as I pulled it away to prevent myself from hearing damage.

   "Connor it's okay whatever you did. I'm sure it can't be that bad." I reassured. He kept whimpering and saying no.

" I f*cking cheated. Multiple times. " he finally said. And I swear I might have screamed. But instead I dropped the phone and heard a loud clank noise. I stared blankly into space trying to understand.