#JustTheStrings

Kabanata 44

During the weekend, I wanted to visit Kuya's house but he said it wasn't time yet. Mukha kasing halos nagpapatayan pa rin sila nung babae kaya ayaw niya akong papuntahin. Ayaw niya ring sabihin iyong pangalan. It was like he shuddered at the sound of her name, so we settled on calling her Mars kasi galing daw sa Mars iyong babae. Si Kuya talaga.

"Dalhin mo na lang si Mars sa bahay, Kuya," I suggested. "Hindi ka naman siguro niya aawayin sa bahay natin."

Kuya scoffed.

"Asa ka pa. Sinisigawan nga niya ako sa harap ng katulong, sa harap ni Mama, sa harap ni John. Sarap busalan ng bibig ng babae na 'yun, e."

"Magkaaway talaga kayo?"

"Kita mo 'tong mukha ko? Puro na wrinkles dahil sa sakit sa ulo sa babaeng 'yun," sabi niya sabay turo sa mukha niya. Wala namang wrinkles, OA lang talaga si Kuya.

"Di ba siya galit na dito muna si John buong weekend?"

"I don't think so," Kuya replied. "I just called the house. Umalis na raw. Gumala na naman siguro," he said with a shrug.

Curiouser and curiouser. Saan ba nakilala ni Kuya si Mars? At bakit nagkaroon ng John kung ayaw na ayaw niya naman kay Mars? And I hadn't seen Mars yet, but Kuya's tales about her made me wince... Nakakaawa naman si Kuya kung totoo nga lahat ng kwento niya. Pero siguro good thing na rin 'to. Papa and Mama were really fond of John, ayaw na nga nilang pabalikin sa QC, e. At sina Finley at Riley din, feeling nila big brothers na sila dahil kay John.

"E Kuya..." I trailed. He looked at me and I wondered if I could ask him about Kath. "Si Kath, nag-usap na ba kayo?"

Hindi agad siya naka-sagot. Maybe I caught him off guard... But if I did... ibig sabihin ba nun, may gusto talaga siya kay Kath? That something was interrupted even before it began? Na kung wala bang Mars na dumating, sana ba silang dalawa? Kung ganoon nga, my heart was sad for the two of them. It barely even started... And they were both hurting.

"Nah. She wouldn't even face me, usap pa kaya?"

I tapped Kuya's shoulder.

"Kayo ni Santo, 'di ka ba pinapaiyak?"

I shook my head. Si Saint pa nga napaiyak ko, e.

"Good," sabi ni Kuya. "Kasi kung pinapaiyak ka, sabihin mo sa 'kin."

"Bakit? Ano'ng gagawin mo kay Saint?"

"Secret," he said and I leaned on him and hugged him. "Basta, 'wag kang papayag na papaiyakin ka 'nun."

"Hala, Kuya. Hindi naman ako papaiyakin ni Saint. He's a really nice guy, you know?"

I felt him nodding.

"Did you settle on him because he's nice?" he asked.

"No," I quickly replied. "I didn't settle on him, Kuya. I chose him."

I didn't feel comfortable talking about Saint with Kuya... But I felt like this was for the best. Para mawala na iyong kung anuman ang iniisip niya tungkol kay Saint. Hindi ko naman siya masisi kung hindi niya talaga magugustuhan si Saint. They were never friends and would probably never be. But at the very least, I wanted them to be civil with each other. Kasi pareho silang parte ng buhay ko... And I didn't want to give up on any of them. I was keen on keeping them both.

"So... you're really over Parker?"

"Ang tagal na, Kuya."

"Paano mo nalaman na wala na?"

"Kasi dati, tuwing gumigising ako, ang naiisip ko, kung kamusta na si Parker, kung kumain na ba siya, kung malungkot ba siya, kung masaya ba siya. My life revolved around him. Everything I did, I did with him in my mind. Tapos, nakilala ko si Saint. And slowly, I wasn't thinking about Parker anymore. Maybe a little, because he'll always have a place in my heart. But not like before, Kuya. He doesn't conquer my thoughts like he did before."

"And Saint does?"

I smiled and nodded.

"He does, Kuya. And it feels good to love him and to be loved by him."

Ilang minuto na nakaupo lang kami ni Kuya doon. We were watching Finley and Riley compete for John's attention habang si Papa naman, kinakausap si Mama habang hinihilot iyong paa niya. Napapa-ngiti na lang talaga ako. I wished everyday would be like this. It would be so perfect. Ayoko na kasi na bumalik sa dati... Na hindi kami kumpleto at nagkaka-gulo. But somehow, I learned to appreciate the pain and distance. Because only then I did learn to appreciate the good times.

Nung lunch time na, nagdecide kami na magkaroon ng barbeque party instead na lumabas. We went on the pool side at doon kami kumain. Papa was the one grilling habang si Kuya naman iyong naglalagay ng vegetables and meat sa metal sticks. When Papa and Kuya were done grilling, we settled on the table by the pool.

"Mary," Mama called me. "Can you free your schedule next weekend?"

"Po?"

"Parker will come home. Can you pick him up from the airport?"

"Po? Si Kuya po?"

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako pa ang kailangang sumundo kay Parker. Saint already asked me to keep my distance from Parker and so far, I was doing my part of the deal... I tried to ignore his messages. I felt bad for Parker, but I was just choosing Saint. Alam ko naman na maiintindihan ako ni Parker. He had been in my position before. He also ignored me when he was with Cindy, and I understood him before. I knew he'd understand me.

"Already asked him, but that's John's appointment to his pedia," Mama said. "I would if I could, but the doctor advised me to stay at home," paliwanag ni Mama.

I bit my lip. Paano ba 'to? Kausapin ko na lang kaya si Saint? Hindi naman siguro siya magagalit kung kaming dalawa iyong susundo kay Parker? At saka susunduin lang naman namin...

"What time po?" I asked since gabi pa naman iyong party nung parents ni Saint... I would still have plenty of time to prepare.

"6 pm," Mama said.

Hala.

"Ah... okay po," I just answered.

Bothered ako buong lunch namin. I tried to act normal but I couldn't. I kept on thinking on how I would do two things at the same time. Siguro kakausapin ko na lang si Kuya Benj... Maybe he could do me a favor. Or si Kath. Sunduin na lang nilang dalawa si Parker. Hindi naman malalaman ni Mama... or I'd confess later, maiintindihan naman niya siguro.

Why was I even thinking about lying? This wasn't me.

--

The weekend passed quickly. Mama almost threw a fit nung babalik na sa QC si Kuya at John. If she could, feeling ko itatali niya sa bahay si Kuya para hindi na makaalis. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang ginawa ni Mars kay Mama para maging ganito ang sitwasyon. Pero hindi ko pa naman siya nakikilala so what do I know?

"Hey." I felt Saint kissing my cheek. "Missed you during the weekend. Had fun?"

I nodded and smiled.

"Baby John's so cute! Sayang hindi mo nakita," I said with a smile.

"Buti hindi nagmana kay Preston," he said with a laugh.

"Gwapo naman si Kuya, ah..." pagtatanggol ko kay Kuya.

Kinurot ni Saint iyong pisngi ko.

"Cute mo talaga," he said and then kissed my cheek again. Sabay kaming naglakad papunta sa resto. Maaga pa naman ngayon. Saint picked me up earlier than usual because he wanted to spend time together bago kami pumunta sa school. He's really clingy... pero lowkey nga lang sabi niya. Tutuksuhin daw kasi siya nila Psalm kapag masyadong obvious.

"Saint..." I called.

"Hmm?" he answered while busy looking at the menu. "Do you want pancakes? Or rice? Or French toast? What do you want, Mary?"

"Toast na lang," I replied. "Ano'ng oras 'yung party?"

"My mom's?" he said and I nodded. "7pm. I'll pick you up. We can go together to Shang."

I bit my lower lip. Hindi ko pa kasi nasasabi kila Kath na sila ang susundo kay Parker... sana. I was still pondering on whether I should tell Saint. Hindi ko kasi alam kung paano siya magrereact. As far as I was concerned, hindi niya na masyadong kinakausap si Dani. I knew he felt bad about that but nagseselos kasi talaga ako kay Dani... At alam ko naman na ganoon din ang nararamdaman niya kay Parker. And I didn't want him to feel jealous because I knew how bad that felt like.

"Ah... okay."

"Why? Is there a problem?" he asked.

Umiling ako.

"I'm just really nervous," I said. It was true, anyway. The thought of meeting almost everyone in his family still made me really nervous. According to Cohen, I'd be the first girl to ever be introduced sa family nila. Wala pa pala kasing nagiging girlfriends lahat sa kanila, bukod kay Saint. Sobrang totoo pala iyong ball is life na motto nila.

Saint held my hand that was resting on the table and squeezed it.

"It'll be fine, hmm? I'll always be with you, so don't worry."

Hindi pa rin ako naka-sagot.

"Okay?" he reiterated. I nodded and sighed. "My mom, just talk to her about us, especially Cohen. He's her fave."

"Talaga?"

He nodded.

"He's the youngest, so he's the favorite. It's okay, though. Then with my dad, just don't give political opinions because he has some strong political visions. Trust me, you wouldn't want to engage in a debate with him. He can be pretty scary," sabi niya kaya nanlaki iyong mata ko. "But he won't scare you, I promise."

"Basta, I won't give opinions na lang about politics..." I said. Ayoko rin naman na pinag-uusapan iyon dahil sabi ni Papa, magulo raw. Ayoko pa naman ng magulo. "How about Ate Maggie?"

"Ate Maggie? She's cool. She'll probably annoy you until you agree to go shopping with her."

"I can do that."

He smiled.

"See? You can do this, Mary. It's not like they'll ask you to chop woods to have me."

Naalala ko na naman si Kuya! Grabe talaga iyong pinagsibak niya ng kahoy at pina-kuha ng tubig si Saint na para bang wala kaming gas at water tank. But it was alright. That was when Mama finally agreed that Saint's serious about me. There's always a silver lining, after all.

We talked and ate and laughed. Ang daming kwento ni Saint na hindi na namin namalayan na time na pala. Pagdating namin sa school, hinatid niya ulit ako sa harap ng classroom. Medyo konti na lang iyong tumitingin sa amin. Nasasanay na nga siguro sila dahil palagi naman kaming magkasama ni Saint.

"Lunch later?"

I nodded. Naka-catch up naman na ako sa mga na-miss ko na lessons.

"Alright. See you later," he said and then kissed me on the cheek before leaving.

Pagpasok ko sa room, dun ako umupo sa tabi ni Kath. Liza's there. Nag-uusap naman kami pero hindi kagaya ng dati. At kahit tinatanong ako ni Kath kung ano ang nangyari, wala akong sinasabi. Si Liza dapat ang magsabi nun, hindi ako.

"Kath, busy ka ba sa Saturday?"

"Hmm. Not sure, why? Do we have lakad?"

Paano ko ba sasabihin 'to?

"Kasi..."

And I proceeded to explain my situation. As I was speaking, I also listened to myself. Paano ko ba tinitignan iyong sitwasyon? Was I overthinking again for no reason? Pero paano ba pinipigilan iyon? It wasn't as if I could stop myself from thinking. Kasi kapag pinigil, mas lalong iniisip.

"Okay," Kath replied. "But I can pick him up myself. 'Wag na si Benj."

Hmmm. Nawala na iyong kuya. Bakit Benj na lang?

"Talaga?"

Kath nodded.

"Basta, enjoy the party na lang, babe. I'll take care of Parker for you."

I eyed her.

"It's Mama's favor, not mine."

Kath laughed.

"Whatever," she said.

--

When Saturday came, I was all nerves. Wala na sa bahay sila Mama dahil pumunta sila sa QC. Sinama nila sila Finley at Riley dahil nagpumilit iyong dalawa na makita si John. Si Kath naman, pumunta sa bahay para tulungan akong mag-ayos.

"Nice. Si Saint ba ang pumili nito?" she asked as she looked at me while I was wearing my long gown. The party was a black tie event so last Tuesday, after classes, we went to the mall para bumili ng susuotin... but somehow, we ended up on the skating rink. Hindi ko talaga natutuloy ang gagawin kapag kasama si Saint. He's very unpredictable.

I nodded. I was wearing a black floor-length dress. Sinigurado ko na walang kahit na anong silver sa suot ko. My earrings were very small diamonds—na hindi masyadong makikita dahil maliit lang talaga. Wala rin akong suot na necklace or bracelet. I didn't want to risk upstaging his mom.

"Your guy has taste, ha," she complemented as she was working on my hair. "Anyway, I'll pickup Parker right after this. Same number naman siya, di ba?"

I nodded.

"Or contact him through facebook," I said dahil doon naman kami nag-uusap dati.

After a while, we were finally done. Tinignan kong mabuti iyong itsura ko sa salamin. I looked simple. I was satisfied.

"Babe, wear a necklace. Your chest looks bare."

"Hala, ayoko."

But she didn't listen to my answer. Pumunta siya sa walk-in closet ko at saka binuksan iyong drawer ko ng necklace. I stood beside her as she chose the necklace that would go well with my dress.

"This, oh. It will look nice," she said as she showed me the diamond necklace Papa gave me on my 16th birthday.

"Hindi pwede," I said. The necklace looked too nice.

"Bakit?"

"I don't want to upstage Saint's mom in any way. I mean, she's not mean or anything, but still, I don't want to risk it," I explained.

Kath looked at me, her forehead creased.

"Why do you always have to adjust for Saint? Una, iniiwasan mo si Parker. Then now, kahit necklace lang? Mary, that's not healthy. You don't have to change who you are to fit in his world."

Natigilan ako sa sinabi ni Kath.

"It's not that..." I said, trying to find the right words. "I just want for this night to go perfect."

She nodded.

"I get that, okay? But it kind of feels like you're doing everything to accommodate Saint's requirements. I mean, I like Saint for you. I really do. He's a really great guy... Call this an unsolicited advice or anything, but seeing you change your life for him, as your friend, I have to tell you that it's not healthy."

I sighed and snatched the necklace from her hand and wore it.

"Satisfied?" I asked. She shrugged.

While waiting for Saint, I stayed inside my room first. Sabi naman ni Kath, papunta na siya sa NAIA. Medyo maaga pa naman...

"Nasan ka na?"

"Relax. Kakalabas ko lang ng subdivision niyo," she said. "I'll be there before 6."

"Okay. Basta call him. Alam mo naman kung saang terminal, right?"

"Chill, babe. We'll park at the airport and wait for Parker. But I bet his flight got delayed so I will wait, and not him. If I were you, isipin mo na lang 'yung GDL clan party mo. Don't worry, I got this."

I breathed. She's right, why was I worried? And Parker's not even a foreigner. Hindi naman siya maliligaw. E 'di magtaxi siya kung hindi niya makita si Kath...

But as I was waiting for Saint, my conscience told me to go check my messages.

Parker Adrian Palma: Congrats, Imo. Be happy.

And a week after...

Parker Adrian Palma: Hey... Can we talk? I need to talk to someone.

My god. I felt guilty that I didn't reply to his messages.

Parker Adrian Palma: Heard your mom asked you to pick me up instead. Don't bother. I can handle.

And I thought that it ended there. But I was wrong.

Parker Adrian Palma: When you see me again, let's just act like we don't know each other.

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