I dont matter....to her...
I am not important to her....
These things and more ponder in my head and i want to starve myself and die more...
I tried to die yesterday....
But..of course i failed...i stopped.....
And i started to starve myself....
Anytime i see or eat food it makes me sick..but of course i still eat...just not...like normal...
I...need someone to talk to...and i cant talk to her...
Shes busy...
Besides im only adding more stress into her life....
Im only stopping her from getting things done im not important.....
Im not even worthy to be called hers....
Im not worthy for anyone....
Earlier......
My friend asked her...if she loved me....
She dodged the question and changed the subject...they all went along with it and forgot...i didnt...i felt bad...cause i thought more negative thoughts..."she doesmt love me...she will gladly get rid of me...if i died she wouldnt notice..."...
At this point in time...im crying while doing my homework...its so hard...trying not to cry on it...but i cant help but cry...
I know it wont solve anything...but what more can i do...?
Some of u want me to leave her...but when u love someone as deeply as i do i cant....if im going to i want her to do it...and i want to be friends again....because...if i completely lose her....then....
Well....alot of things....
If only...things were better...everyone says itll get better and it never does....
It only gets worse...
Im slowly losing hope...and i just wanna die....
Who knows..
Maybe ill get sick and die of starvation...