*Phil's POV*

I wake up and slowly open my eyes to look at my blank ceiling. It takes me a second before I realize why I'm still so tired. Dan cut again.

I had woken up earlier that morning at around 2 am when I heard him crying. I remember going into his room and holding him, worried that if I hadn't come when I did he might have taken things further.

I shudder at the thought. No, Dan wouldn't have done that. But I can't help but wonder why he began again in the first place, everything was going fine. We just released our book, we're planning a new tour, and we've been hanging out more recently, catching up on some anime.

I didn't want to ask him earlier today because it wasn't the right time but maybe he'll talk to me when he wakes up.

I haul myself out of bed and grab my glasses on my bed table. I then make my way into the kitchen where I plan to make me and Dan pancakes. It was a hard night for him so he probably hasn't woken up yet.

When I get into the kitchen I take out all the ingredients necessary to make the pancakes and start cooking. I'm on the 6th pancake and flipping it over when Dan walks in, looking groggy from sleep.

"Good morning." I say giving him a smile.

"Morning." He says, a little sheepish. He's probably still really embarrassed about what happened.

"What's all this?" He asks taking in all of the pancakes.

I blush a bit. "Well, you seemed to have a rough night so I wanted to make it a bit better with some pancakes."

Dan shakes his head. "You didn't need to do that Phil, I'm fine now."

"I wanted to." I insist.

He smiles at me. "Thank you." He says sincerely.

"No problem. Now hurry up and eat before they get cold and I have to make some new ones." I say, giving Dan a grin.

He Salutes me. "Eye, eye captain!"
We both burst out laughing and I turn around and put the pancake I was making on the plate.

I see that Dan has already put three pancakes on his plate and has started putting some sugar and lemon on them. I do the same and we both walk to where our couch is so we can put on some anime.

-

After we finish eating our pancakes I pause what we're watching and turn to face Dan.

"Dan?"

He turns to face me, with a nervous look, probably anticipating what I'm going to say next.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"Well I was just wondering. Why did you decide to, you know..." I let the sentence trail off  and Dan looks down and starts fiddling with his hands.

"I, um... I don't really know..." he says, but I can tell he's lying.

"Dan, you know I can tell when you're lying right?" I ask and Dan bites his lip. He actually looks really attractive when he does that. Ugh. Why am I thinking that? Dan is my best friend!

"Can we just forget about it? I don't think it would be good for me to tell you." Dan says.

What does that mean?

"Dan, we've never kept secrets from each other, what's different about this?" I say, and I swear I can see Dan blush a bit. He's still looking down at his hands when he answers me.

"It's different because I will completely mess everything up if I tell you and I just don't want to talk about this anymore ok?" He snaps back at me.

Dan never gets like this. Whatever's bothering him is obviously something he doesn't want to tell me about yet.

But what does he mean by he'll mess everything up?

I shake my head. It doesn't matter, this is clearly making Dan upset.

"Ok, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." I say, and see Dan relax his shoulders a bit.

"Thanks, Phil."

"Don't worry about it. How bout' we just go on Tumblr for now?" I ask with a smile.

"That sounds good." He says and and goes over to his room to retrieve his laptop. I do the same and we both meet back at the couch where Dan is already situated in his sofa crease. I chuckle to
myself when I see him.

"What?" Dan asks defensively.

"Oh, nothing. It's just that you look ridiculous as always. You're going to end up with back troubles if you keep sitting like that." I say, which makes Dan roll his eyes.

We've both been on Tumblr for a while when I send him a funny edit of his face photoshopped with Nick Jonas.

"Did you see what I just sent you?" I ask.
Dan shakes his head.
"No, I'm not on my private account I'm on my "Danisnotonfire" one."
"Oh, ok. Well just look at it when you log on, it's funny."

After Dan and I started getting more popular on YouTube, we decided to make our own hidden, private accounts that no one knew where ours. The only people who knew about them was Dan and I. We like to make internet friends and get to know people without them freaking out when they find out we're popular YouTubers.

Dan's name is "llamadude" and mine is "Lionguy", a bit nerdy but it helps us remember our log-ins. What Dan doesn't know though, is that I have a completely other account apart from the private one he knows called "cheeselover" so that no one would know it was me since I absolutely hate cheese.

And that's when I got the idea.

-

It was around five in the afternoon and I was lying down on my bed on Tumblr. After watching Anime Dan and I decided to get ready  for the day even if we would only be staying here. I was now in a plaid shirt and black skinny jeans.

I had waited to get out of Dan's sight so that I could finally log into my "cheeselover" account that he doesn't know about.

I look up Dan's private "llamadude" account and follow him. I then message him about an "Attack on Titan" post he had put on his page, knowing he would respond.

I know I probably shouldn't be doing this but I just want to know if everything is really ok with Dan. He's been a bit weird since our talk earlier that day and I want him to be able to talk to me. I know that sometimes it's easier to talk with people online than your actual friends.

I wait for about a minute until I see that I have a new message from "llamadude". I click and read what it says.
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Hiya guys!
So this is the next chapter. Hope you like it! Things will definitely get more interesting in the following chapter, I just had to kinda begin the story a bit. Thanks to everyone that read <3