Meaghan's POV

"hello? how may i help you?" I gulped and gripped the phone tighter in my hands against the ear. 

"uh yes hi, id like to put my son up for adoption." i said and swallowed the lump in my throat. 

"ok, can i have him name please?" 

"Sh- Shane"

"Whats Shane's full name ma'am?" 

"i cant do this, im sorry. have a good day." i said and hung up the phone. I choked on a sob and sat on the couch, holding my knees up against my chest. I cant do it. I cant let Shane go. He is the only thing i have left. Sure he does look alot like Niall, but i cant abandon my son like how Niall did with me. I still cant believe Niall would push me away, even after all we've been through. I wipped my eyes and turned on the tv. 

"Niall Horan from One Direction, was spotted in Ashville at Funway Park with mystery girl. She also had a child with her that was reported to look alot like Niall. Who was Niall with?"

My attention went to the phone ringing and i got up to answer it. 

"hello?"

"Meaghan?"

"Niall how did you get my number?! i changed it!"

"in the phone book. did you know those things exsisted?"

"ya whatever what do you want?" i asked annoyed. 

"i know it is not the best of way to say this on the phone, but it is the only way of how i can reach you without getting mobbed my fans and paps. i am sorry for everythng i done. im sorry for hurting you. i never meant too and you know that." 

"niall-"

"no Meaghan, please let me finish!" Niall begged. I stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. "i was hoping for you to forgive me, and maybe give me another chance. i have changed and i feel really bad for ive done to you. it kills me that ive done that. i even promised id never do that to you, but i did. i acted just like him. all i want right now is for you to forgive me. please Meaghan."

"Niall, i would forgive you, but how do i know that you wont do it again?" i asked.

"i've changed Meaghan, i really have. you know i love you." Shane started to cry from his bedroom. 

"Niall, ive got to go."

"ok but answer this one question for me."

"what is it? Make it fast please."

"That baby boy you had, he's mine right? im the father?" i hung up the phone and put it back. I wiped my eyes. Just thinking about Niall being the father, about how he is the father made me shudder. I cant give Niall another chance. Not yet anyways. I guess maybe i can forgive him, and start off of being friends. Shane's crying became louder wich made me snap out of my thoughts and go to his room. I opened the door and saw Shane standing up in his crib, holding the stuffed bear that i bought him. The bear is missing its left ear and i had to sew 2 buttons for eyes. It doesnt matter, Shane loves it and it makes me happy, he makes me happy. I picked him up set him on my hip and carried him into the livingroom. I sat down and held Shane bridal style in my lap. 

I hummed to calm him down. When he finally calmed down i set Shane on the floor to play with his building blocks and toy cars. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a baby bottle and poured milk in it. I put the baby bottle that is now filled with milk in the microwave. I set the timer for 30 seconds. I smiled as i watched Shane put a block over another block. He took a car and slammed it into the blocks. Shane smiled and made weird little noises with his mouth. The timer went off and i opened the little door and took the baby bottle out. I put the baby bottle on the counter. 

"Shane! Come here babes!" I said and walked to him. I picked Shane up and carried him to the kitchen. I put him in a cheap high chair and handed him his bottle. 

*

After when Shane was done with his bottle, i let him go back to play with his blocks and cars. I sat on the vomit looking couch and turned on the tv.

"What is Niall Horan trying to get too? His tweets are depressing." Tweets anfter tweets showed up on the screen. "letting her go was the worst thing Ive done." "i miss her alot." "i love her." "i want her back into my arms." "a princess needs her prince." "please come back baby."

"Is Niall talking about his former girlfriend Meaghan?" I bite my lip, i know he is talking about me. "What will Meaghan think about this?"

What do i think about it? Mhm... The tweets are sweet, i will admit that. But i just- no i cant get back together with Niall. He says he has changed, but that was over the phone. I dont want to risk it. 

Staying with my best friend Taylor for 5 months was devistating. She was dating Liam, who reminded me of Niall. So i moved into this apartment. I never talked to Taylor in 2 years. I am a horrible person. I promised Id call her, but i just couldnt. It brings back to many memories.