Luke's POV

Learning how t-

"Luke, is everything okay? You haven't left your room much today," my dad asks, walking into my room.

I quickly stop typing and shut my laptop. "Yeah, everything's fine."

"Are you sure? You know we can talk about things if you need to."

"I'm sure."

"Okay. If you need anything, I'll be in the kitchen." He starts walking out of my room slowly.

"Actually, Dad?"

"Yeah?" he says, turning back around.

"Do you think, uh, I should learn how to drive?"

My dad raises his eyebrows and sits on top of my bed. "Of course I think you should. Whenever you're ready, though."

I nod. "It's, just, the other day... Delilah was driving and started texting... It got me thinking that I should learn how to drive myself. So other people don't have to keep driving me everywhere."

"I can take you out right now if you want."

"No, no. Not right now. Just at some point. I'm going to have to get my license, I guess," I say quickly. I'm definitely not ready to drive just yet.

"No one's forcing you. Only if you want to."

I sigh. "I know. I don't really want to, but I kind of have to."

My dad nods. "I'll be ready to teach you whenever you're ready, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks."

My dad leaves my room and I sigh. I don't really want to learn to drive, but I can't depend on others for the rest of my life to drive me places. I'm going to have to learn, whether it's a few months or a few years.

Just thinking about driving makes me get nervous. Driving would give me so much power that I'm not sure I should have. I could be upset and go driving anywhere and do anything. Or someone could crash into me or I could crash into them. There's so many things that could go wrong. I don't think I will ever be fully comfortable in a car, but I've overcome a lot of other things and this has to be one of them.

I open my laptop back up and continue looking up things about driving. I try to avoid the links that lead to "Dangers of Driving" or "Terrible Car Wreck." I don't want to see those things. If I see those, I definitely won't be driving anytime soon.

One of the links I click starts telling about gas and what cars have the best mileage.

With driving, comes getting gas. And you need money to get gas.

Which I don't have.

I hadn't even thought about that.

The only way to get money is to get a job. I don't want to get a job, but I kind of need that too. I'm starting to realize that there's a lot of things in life that I'm going to have to do at some point, no matter how much I don't want to do them. I'm going to be 18 years old soon, I need to start doing things with my life.

I roll my eyes and sigh. Maybe I shouldn't learn to drive and then I shouldn't get a job. I could just continue on for the rest of my life like this.

I debate if I'd want to stay like this the rest of my life.

I don't.

I call Delilah for some advice, and she picks up after a few rings.

"Hey," I say quietly. "Do you think I could get a job?"

"What?" she asks.

"A job. Do you think I should get one?"

"Of course. Since when do you want a job?"

I rub the back of my neck. "I was just thinking about it. I kind of need to start doing stuff and earn money. Right?"

"I think it'd be a good idea. What were you thinking of doing?"

"I have no idea. That's why I called you."

Delilah stays silent for a few seconds. "You could work at a restaurant?"

"Too many people to talk to."

"A store?"

"Still too many people."

"Luke."

"Delilah."

"All jobs have people you'll have to talk to."

"I guess so. But maybe not."

Delilah laughs. "I'm happy you're thinking about working, but you're going to need to branch out a little to find a job."

"Yeah. I guess I should start doing things I'm not used to."

"We can go look for jobs now if you want to."

"Why is everyone so eager to get me started with things? All I did was mention it," I say. I don't tell her about talking to my dad about driving.

She laughs again. "Want me to come over and we can look up some stuff? Just look them up to get ideas and you can think about it for a little."

"Okay." I'm regretting this already. I don't know why I even had this idea.

"I'll be right over!"

She hangs up and a few minutes later, she's at my house.

There's a lot of places I could find a job, but not many places I'd actually want to work at. I'm not good with new people and talking to random people. I know I'll say the wrong things and make mistakes all the time. And what if I get a panic attack at work? Would anyone even hire me if they knew about all my problems?

Delilah opens up my laptop when she walks into my room and starts typing quickly.

"What are you looking up?" I ask her, leaning my head on top of her shoulder.

"Jobs in Maine."

"Creative."

She rolls her eyes. "This is how to find jobs. Do you want to find a job?"

"Not really."

"Luke! You called me asking if you should get a job!"

"Doesn't mean I actually want one. But I kinda need one."

She laughs and continues typing. She clicks on some links for jobs.

"What about this one?" she asks, pointing to one of the listed jobs.

"Ice cream scooper? No, thanks," I say, shaking my head.

She scrolls down the page a little further, reading every few listings out loud. I don't like any of them.

I doubt I'll even get a job. Knowing me, by tomorrow I'll be completely done with searching for jobs and nothing will ever happen. I'm just going to be stuck living the same life every single day for the rest of my life. I'm never going to do anything. Sometimes, like day, I'm overcome with the feeling to get things done and do things. It doesn't happen too often, but it ends as soon as it starts.

"What about this one?" Delilah asks, actually clicking on the link. A website with pictures of kids everywhere pops up.

"Daycare? No."

"Why? You're great with Lucy now."

"Yeah, Lucy. One kid. I don't need to change diapers with her. Look, that says I would have to change diapers, be certified in CPR, and know how to handle babies. No way."

Delilah laughs. "Okay, maybe that's not the best choice." She goes back to the listings to find another one.

"What about this clothes store? It's at the mall, which is only five minutes away. That would be perfect!"

"I told you, no stores."

"Luke, there's literally nothing here that you like. I think a clothes store would be fine."

I shake my head.

"Just try it. It says you'd have to work a cash register, fold clothes, and help customers. That's not that hard."

"Yes, it is."

Delilah turns around so she's looking at me. "C'mon. It says you'll get 15% off all merchandise."

I roll my eyes and sit down next to her. "I mean, I guess it might work. But not today."

I'm not sure how well I would do at a store, especially if a lot of people go there. I am getting better, though, with new people and new things. Maybe I would be able to do it. But there's always worries in the back of my mind.

"Just think about it over the next few days. I think it'd be good for you," Delilah says.

There's a lot of things that could be good for me, it's just a matter of getting there and doing them.

"But what if they don't hire me?" I ask quietly.

Delilah shrugs. "Then you try somewhere else. You won't get accepted everywhere you go."

"I know. But they're not going to want to hire someone with so many mental and anxiety problems. And someone who dropped out of school. No one will want to hire me anywhere."

"Luke, there is more to you than just your anxiety and all of that. You are kind, funny, and very strong. When you're comfortable with things, you do really well with them. You just have to take some chances to get there. I promise, you'll find a job. They'd be stupid not to hire you."

I look down at my hands and bite my lip. "I guess so. I'll think about it."

I am so sorry for slow updates. I have SO much going on right now.

and also for some of you, chapter 4 is cut off and doesn't end? wattpad is working on fixing it. the whole chapter used to be there (it's still there for me and some people) idk what happened, but i hope it's fixed within the next few days

i hope you like this chapter :) what do you think luke will do?

PLS SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE IT'S CALLMEASHLEY98 I'M SO CLOSE TO 5K SUBS!!!

-ashley