---- [W -> D] ----

D: Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people.

----

W: I'll take that as a compliment.
D: I must have said it wrong, then.

----

D: Thank you, sir.
W: Don't call me "sir"
D: Thank you, ma'am.

----

W: Dickie no
✓seen at 4:37am

----

D: How did you find me?
W: Oh, it was easy, really. I just listened to the sound of complete and utter betrayal and followed that.

----

W: What would you say if someone told you being gay and mean wasn't a personality?
D: "good thing I'm not just gay and mean then; I'm rich too"

----

D: Wally isn't wrong very often.
D: But he's annoying all the time.

----

W: But you're the most beautiful, smartest, perfect person in the world. 
D: Well, you're right about all those things.

----

D: Walls I need the-
D: Also, I didn't have a chance to-
D: Marry me?
W: Took care of that too, we've been married for the last seven years.
D: Excellent.

----

W: So you lied... about everything?
D: I didn't lie... I just avoided certain truths to manipulate you...

----

D: Wally, in your professional opinion, how do I die?
W: Murder. Gangland style execution. Never find your head.
D: That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me

----

W: You're an awful person.
D: Maybe, but I'm rich and I'm pretty, so it doesn't really matter.

----

D: Alfred sure is one hell of a butler

----

W: Roy wouldn't hurt a fly!
D: He would kill a man tho

----

W: You use emojis like a straight person
D: That's literally the worst thing anyone has ever said to me and I will never forgive you

----

D: Bruce might've raised a depressed, emotionally unstable, nervous wreck but he ain't raise no BITCH

----

W: You know, underneath it all, you're actually kinda nice.
D: Repeat that disgusting slander again and you'll be hearing from my lawyer.

----

D: Cheating on me is easy, but learning how to walk after I slice the tendons in your legs is hard. Do you see what I'm saying?
W: Yes sir you're scary sir

----

W: We've been duped!
D: Duped!
W: Bamboozled!
D: We've been smeckledorfed!
W: That's not even a word and I agree with you!

----

D: To the people in cars shouting at me for not 'getting out of the way,' bold of you to assume I don't want to fucking die

----

W: I'm so cold
W: But going inside would make me a coward
D. Where are you?
W: Outside you fool

----

D: I feel like you're that one pretty friend who is really funny and at the same time will come up to someone's window at 4 am asking if you want some noodles
W: I'm always lurking in the bushes with a Ramen noodle
D: So like just only one single noodle?
W: Yeah but like it's long

----

W: WHO ATE MY FRIES?! I'M GONNA FUCKING KI–
D: I did
W: -kiss you and buy you some more, you haven't been eating enough, babe.

----

D: Do you consider me a friend?
W: Yeah! Of course, what else would I consider you?
D: I don't know. An embarrassment? A way to rebel against your parents? A desperate cry for help? The list is endless.
D: Dude are you at my window?
W: Let me in so I can kiss you

----

W: You're gonna hate yourself in the morning if you stay up late
D: Jokes on you, I'm gonna hate myself in the morning no matter what

---- [The Three Muskequeers] ----

D: I need more guns
W: No, you don't
R: Wally is right. You don't need guns.
R: I have a lighter
R: We've got some hairspray, we'll make some flamethrowers
R: let's fry these bitches

---- [W -> D] ----

W: Gender was invented by bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms

----

D: I like saying swear words and being an all around devil
W: We can tell

----

W: Awww, don't be stupid, dumbass

----

D: I'm a sucker for ships that could kill each other, but would die for each other

----

W: YOU PUT A KNIFE IN MY FACE! I'D SAY THIS IS AN ADEQUATE AMOUNT OF DRAMA!
D: Aww please, it's not like this is the first time
W: THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER

----

D: I just wanna do cute things with you, like crush the patriarchy

----

W: So y'all just gonna scroll without saying amen?

----

D: I wonder why no one likes me and then I remember I don't even like me

----

W: May i say, tragic
D: you may *not*

----

D: Shutting the fuck up is gluten-free, add that to your diet

----

W: Wow, look at you, trying to be romantic with all these candles
D: First of all, I'm about to sacrifice you

----

D: I may hate myself and I might be useless but at least I'm gay

----

W: Heterosexuality? Not on my rink. 

----

D: I haven't made any really bad decisions lately, I'm getting bored

----

W: Look at all these fucking scrubs with their summoning circles and blood spells
W: Having a direct line to the devil is so convenient

----

D: You remember that time I said my only reasons for doing thins where spite and the aesthetic?
D: I lied, I do it for the attention too

----

W: Stress, babe

----

D: I want small children to think I'm either a goddess or a fairy but I want grown men to fear me

----

W: I didn't know it was possible to win a game of chess in a single move 
D: Clearly, you haven't been paying attention

----

D: Contract killing? Thats a beat we can all dance too

----

W: I don't follow rules, I follow Dick Grayson on social media
D: I'm aiming to hit 180k by next month

----

D: {depressed in swag}

----

W: Come and get your dinner you bastard

----

D: there is too much panic in my life and not enough disco

----

W: Tfw the author makes JayTim cannon without even fucking asking
D: Disgraceful

----

D: Timmy is sitting in front of me acting like he's doing work but we both know he's watching Sword Art Online Abridged

----

W: JESUS CHRIST
D: I prefer God, but that works

----

D: hmm sounds hetero I don't like it

----

W: do you think fish get thirsty

----

D: I love when Timmy is in the batcave-
D: So we're getting ready for an undercover mission during a gala and Bruce says "Synchronize your watches"
D: And Babs said "I don't know how to do that"
D: then Jay said "I don't wear a watch"
D: and we all looked at Tim, who didn't even look up from his coffee and says "time is a construct"

----

W: I started high school with straight A's, now I'm not even straight

----

D: Are we throwing darts? That's way more exciting than opera

----

W: Literally is there a colour you don't look good in
D: No.

----

D: I'll live every day to the fullest by being extremely cautious and never letting my guard down

----

W: Am I dreaming or are we in some weird fanfiction Cinderella AU where your name is Cinder
D: Shhhh, it was supposed to be a joke but the author is getting ideas

----

D: I haven't slept since last year

----

W: You free when this chapter is over?
D: Yeah, one more then we can go get lunch
W: Pizza?
D: Yes but you're buying
W: Your??? Rich?????

----

D: Wally and I have that chemistry where we finish each other's sen-
W: -tences
D: Do not fucking interrupt me

----