Taylor P.O.V

Taylor, you stupid fucking idiot! What were you thinking?!

Why?! Why would you do that?! Why would you go and kiss the only fucking friend you have?! You might as well have got down on one knee and asked her to marry you or some shit! God dammit, Taylor!

To my relief, Sam wasn't going to be in my last two classes of the day. But it was still hard to concentrate in those two said lessons, when all I could do was think about what I did. I hate that a part of me liked it.

She, on the other hand, obviously didn't. Of course she wouldn't, she's not into girls, you dipshit! Even if she was, do you ever think she'd be into you?!

I couldn't help but beat myself up about it in my head, through the last two lessons and even on my way home. I was back to my usual miserable self, getting through my front door and just going upstairs to sulk without even a single word to my father.

Landing face first into my bed, I let out a loud cry of annoyance into my pillow as I tried to ease my struggles - not that it would make them go away. I turned over, staring at the ceiling. I squinted for a moment, noticing a weird brown spot on the ceiling, which caused my train of thought to go elsewhere for a moment, before I once again focused on the situation at hand.

Though, there was something I didn't understand... If Sam wasn't into girls, if she wasn't gay, or maybe even bisexual for that matter... Why did she kiss me back...?

****

Sam P.O.V

"Did you have a nice day at school?" My mother asked when I had got home. However, I didn't really hear her, as I wasn't really listening.

"Sam?"

"Uh, yeah, whatever." I murmured, making my way to the stairs. She frowned, obviously expecting more of a response from me.

"Do you... Do you want anything to eat?" She called after me. I just shook my head, wanting the conversation to end there as I wanted to be alone in my room.

Why did I feel so... Miserable?

I felt like I had hurt Tay. I didn't want to do that, to push her off and say no. But I'm not into girls! I know I'm not! I mean, I've always been straight. Never have I once even thought of dating a girl.

Yet I kissed her back, and probably fucked with, not only my own head, but hers as well... What the fuck was I supposed to do...?

Curling up in a ball at the corner of my bed, I sat in thought, trying to calm myself down. I'd never known how to deal with a situation like this before... I had never even been confessed to by a girl, or kissed by a girl. It was all so... New.

I wished we hadn't left it the way we had, so awkwardly. I wanted nothing more than to try and move on from it. To sort it out with Taylor and talk our way through it. And I honestly didn't know if I was going to be able to wait until tomorrow to do that. But it's not like I had a choice, I only gave Taylor my number, and not the other way around...

Ping

What the...? My phone vibrated in my pocket - I got a text.

Funnily enough, it was Taylor. I guess great minds think alike... Heh...

                                                    Can we talk? - Taylor 

I hesitated, but decided to text her back.

Sure.

Listen, I'm sorry for what I did. I feel really stupid. - Taylor

Don't apologize. It's fine. 

Well, still... Anyway, Sam... I need to ask you something, and I need you to give me an honest answer. Can you promise me that you will do that, Sam? - Taylor

Of course, Tay. What is it?

I waited, feeling tense for her response... What did she want to ask...? Finally, she answered.

I hate to ask this but... Did you like kissing me? - Taylor

That was the thing, I don't know. I didn't know what I felt about what had happened...

I... I don't know... Why?

Another pause...

Because you seemed like you wanted to kiss me back, until you pushed me away. I know it might've just been my imagination but.... I don't know... - Taylor

It definitely wasn't just her imagination. I know I wanted to. I was just so confused and torn up inside about what had happened after I expressed enough that it's never happened to me before. I never would have once questioned my sexuality up until this point.

I... I think I did kind of want to... But I just... I don't know, Taylor... I'm confused...

It was then, that my phone started ringing and I checked to see who was calling. It was an unknown number that I hadn't added to my phone yet. Was it Taylor's? I quickly answered.

"Hello?"

"Sam...?" Taylor's voice squeaked on the other side of the phone.

"Hey, Taylor..." I sighed, hugging a pillow close to my chest as I used my free hand to hold the phone to my ear.

"You okay...?"

"I... guess..."

Awkward...

"Sam, I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry for making things awkward. For getting in the way and fucking up your life, confusing you when you probably had things all figured out... I know you're probably better off without me..." She whispered, sounding like she was going to cry again. I bit my lip in thought, trying to choose my words carefully.

"Hey, Taylor... It's not your fault, stop saying sorry. I'm honestly glad I met you. I won't deny that, not even for a second." I answered. "Please... Don't think I hate you for this, or that I'm even mad at you for this."

"Sam... I just... I know I like you. I want to, but then I don't want to, because I know you'll never like me back..."

"Taylor, it's going to be okay, I promise. I swore that I would always stick by you no matter what. I'm not going to stop being friends with you because of what happened... I swear."

"You won't...?"

"I won't." I repeated.

"Thanks... Sam..."

"It's no problem, Tay. It's no problem..."
                      
I'm not going to abandon her like this... After all, she's my best friend...