The next few days were spent with the families. Things were left the way they were. Everyone at least pretended that things were ok. No one mentioned the drama that happened on Thanksgiving. Maybe it was good, maybe it wasn't. Julie did notice, however, that her mom did seem to appreciate Harry more and more as time went on. She had no doubts he could win her over. He was an amazing man, in more ways than one. She was grateful. 

Julie still was having a hard time. Harry could tell, but he didn't want to add any more stress to her while her parents were here. He knew they had to have a discussion when they left. He had to fly out the day after her parents did. There wasn't going to be much time to do it. He had to talk to her about talking to a professional. He knew she didn't want too. She spent the whole night on Thanksgiving out on the balcony off his room. He wondered how long things from her past were going to come back to bite her.

Amanda was grateful for the time she had with her family and Niall together. Everyone seemed to get along wonderfully. It was a great feeling. She enjoyed showing her family LA and spending time with Niall. She was worried about JJ though. She couldn't help it. Even though she didn't see her through those days she could tell through their brief texts and phone calls things weren't exactly right. She had also spoken with Harry and learned that he had already mentioned talking to a professional to JJ. Apparently, she didn't take it too well. Niall was right though. Time to do what's right for JJ and not worry about her reactions.

Niall was thrilled to get to know Amanda's family. He was in love and wanted to make sure that things were good all around. He was happy he got along so well with them. Even her brother, intimidating as he was. They had a great couple of days in LA. He knew Amanda was having a hard time with not seeing JJ and being able to help, and honestly, he was too. But there would be time later to do that. It was time to get JJ the help she needed and deserved. Even though he knew it would be a monumental task to get her to agree.

Julie's parents were leaving earlier in the day than Amanda's. She had told Harry she wanted to take them to the airport herself so that they could speak and say goodbye. He was disappointed, but he understood. Amanda and Niall then took her parents to the airport later in the day.

Later that night, Amanda answered her phone when Harry called her. Her and Niall were driving back from the airport. "Hey Harry, what's going on?"

"Hey, did you see Julie at the airport? She's not back yet and she isn't answering my calls." He asked worried.

Amanda sighed. "No, we didn't. But it is a big airport. Hold on, let me try and call her and conference her in." She tried, but the call went to voicemail. She went back on the line with Harry. "I will have Niall stop at our apartment so I can check there. Something has to give sometime. I could tell something wasn't right, even though I've only talked to her a few minutes the past few days."

"I will meet you guys there. I hope she's there. Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea." He said putting his boots on.

"No one knew Harry. But it's time. We all know it's time." Amanda said. She looked over at Niall. He overheard and had already made the detour to the girls' apartment instead of his house.

"I know. I had a bad feeling letting her go to the airport herself. But I didn't want it to seem like I was smothering her either." Harry said grabbing his keys.

"I know, Harry. Will see you in a little bit." Amanda said hanging up the phone. She looked over at Niall.

"You don't expect her to be there, do you?" Niall asked.

"Not really. But I'm hoping. I cannot even imagine what she's going through now. I just wish she would come to us instead of running." Amanda leaned back against the seat.

Niall and Amanda pulled up to the apartment as Harry was getting out of his car. They met and walked up together. Harry was praying she was there. But he was scared she wouldn't be. God, he should have gone with her to the airport.

When Amanda unlocked the door, and walked in, she was met with silence. And darkness. She turned on the light and walked over to JJ's room. She knocked, but again was met with silence. She opened the door and walked in. Everything looked untouched. She had an empty feeling and went to JJ's closet. She opened the door, and her suitcase was gone. She leaned against the door. How was she going to tell Harry? What was she going to do? She pulled out her phone and held it in her hand but didn't use it. She walked back into the front. "She's gone. Her suitcase is gone." Amanda said breaking down. "She ran. But where? It's like Vegas all over again, but where?"

Harry leaned on the table. He was numb. Her suitcase was gone? Where could she have gone where she needed a suitcase. Why would she leave without at least telling him? What did all of this mean? He was sad, and disappointed, and angry. He didn't want to be angry at her, but he was. Damn her. "God damn her!" He said, pushing himself off the table. "I thought she fucking knew we would get through this together. All of us!" He was shaking. He was angry, and worried. God, he was worried.

Niall was looking at the ground. He didn't know what to do for either Amanda nor Harry. When he looked up he saw an envelope leaning on the bowl on the counter. "Amanda." He said as he walked over to it. It was addressed to all 3 of them. He picked it up and then looked at Amanda and Harry. They all just stood there, looking at it. No one wanting to open it.

Finally, Amanda took the envelope and slowly opened it. She started to read it out loud.

I'm sorry.

I can't do this right now. I'm confused. Broken. I don't know what to do. I've said so much and done so much, and caused so many problems. I need to figure this out. I know you are all angry right now that I left without a word. But I had too. I don't have any fight left anymore. Maybe I suppressed things too long, hoping they would just disappear. But they haven't. It's just gotten worse. I'm truly sorry for hurting everyone. I need time. Alone. I know you don't want to hear that, I know you think I need to come to you. I just can't. And right now, I can't share all this with total strangers. I'm sorry. I wish we could go back to FL and I could take back opening all of this up.

Panda, you know I love you with all my heart. There is no one who has ever been a better friend to me than you. You're the best person I know. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Please be happy. Please continue to show your amazingness to everyone.

Niall. Take care of Panda. You're so good for her. Please make sure she stays herself. Please get her through the hurt that I know I put her through. And please be there for Harry. You are seriously the most amazing man and friend. I am so glad that you came into Panda's life. And mine. I'm sorry I'm not as strong as you thought I was.

Harry. My sweet savior. I love you. I do. I know you're having a hard time believing that right now. I know you're angry and scared. I know you are kicking yourself for not keeping me in your sights. God, I love you. You are the best person, the best heart I've ever met. I know you would always keep me from drowning but maybe it's time I learn to swim on my own instead of just treading water.

All 3 of you. Please know I couldn't have gotten through any of this without you. But now, I need to figure this out for me. I need to find me. I need to find a way to accept myself, my past, my present, my future. I guess that starts with me. Please forgive me. Please just give me some time. Please don't hate me.

Julie

Amanda sniffled as she put the letter back in the envelope. No one knew what to say. She finally broke the silence. "Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe she will figure out a way to find herself again. Maybe...." She couldn't finish. She broke down in tears. "I just wish she would let us be there while she did."

Niall wrapped his arms around her. "You're right Princess. About it all. I wish she would let us be there too. But I like hearing she wants to figure things out for herself. It has to be that way."

Harry had nothing to say. No reaction. He felt completely numb. Why would she do this. Why would she leave without telling him where she was going, or what she was doing? Why wouldn't she just trust him? How could she say she loved him and then just run off? He took his keys out of his pocket. "I guess there's no reason for me to stay here anymore. I'm just going back to London today. I will meet you there, Niall."

"Harry wait!" Amanda called after him when he started to leave. She knew he was struggling with this. She went up and hugged him. "I've asked you before, and I'm going to ask you again. Can you just give this some time, before you give up on her?"

He hugged her back. "Yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do. Right now, I'm not sure what I feel. I don't want to be angry, but I am. How can she love me if she doesn't trust me enough to help her through? I won't make any decisions right now, but I'm not going to try and find her either." He pulled back and left. His heart was broken. He really hoped she figured it out. He really hoped she learned to love herself regardless of her past. Right now, though, he didn't know if he would be around in the end, when she actually figured it out. Maybe it was his anger, maybe it was because he was caught off guard but right now he didn't feel like fighting anymore.

Amanda cried. Hard. She was now afraid JJ had lost Harry too. She didn't know what to do. How long would JJ be gone? What was she doing? Where was she staying? Would she be at work for her shift in 2 days? So many questions and no answers. That was the most frustrating thing of all. She could have at least told them!

*if you are enjoying the story please vote/comment/share. I would love to be able to respond.

*the story is complete fan fiction