"Lara?" I called when I was on my way to the cafeteria.
She stopped but didn't turn to look at me. She'd been so bitter towards people after Katie died, and she'd been scarce too. I haven't seen Cyndy in a long while and that made me feel mean and heartless.
"Hey, how has it been?" I smiled.
"Everything cool." She said and turned to leave. I held her arm and pulled her back.
"What?" She asked looking behind me.
"How are you doing? You don't seem happy or.... Okay" I asked.
"Why do you want to know how I feel?" She hissed without looking at my face.
"Cos I care." I answered and she snorted.
"Do you think you look like you care?" She asked still looking away.
"Yeah," I answered.
"I really don't want to talk with you right now. I don't know how to face you. The fact that you ignore your friends as they mourn another friend is so not a sign of concern." She said. "But never mind we're okay." She smiled bitterly before finally looking at my face and walking away.

I felt pain and guilt the moment she said those things. But it's true. While they were mourning Katie, I was busily having fun with Amber.
My stomach dropped when she walked away with that bitter smile. I sighed and looked back at her as she walked away sadly with a book clutched tightly against her chest with her arms.
"Hailey?" I heard Amber's voice behind me. I turned to face her as I faked a smile.
"Hey," I said.
"No need to fake a smile, Hailey, the tears have given you out." She shook her head. I didn't realize there were tears in my eyes. I dabbed my eyes with my hand and looked down at my shoes.
"Now tell me, what's wrong?" She asked. Why does this seem like a déjà vu? It felt like this had happened before.
Then it flashed before me. The day Lara told me Katie died. At that moment, it was Amber who left and Lara came. Now Lara left and Amber came. Great.
"Earth to Hailey," Amber said waving her hand in front of me.

"I'm a beast, Amber." I sobbed. I couldn't hold the tears back.
"Do beast have good heart?" She asked.
"I don't have a good heart." I sobbed as the tears streamed down my cheeks.
"Hey, hey, stop crying. Have something to eat first so we talk okay? It's almost class hours."
She cooed putting her arms around me. It did a great job of soothing me. I got used to her touch cos I spend every second with her.
I nodded and followed her into the cafeteria.

My instincts hadn't stop nagging since Lara told me that on campus. I went to sit on her bed waiting for to return so I can apologize to her. I waited for too long but she didn't show up. It's been awhile since she slept here but I was too cruel and selfish to notice that until she approached me. Hailey, what kind of a friend are you? The good girl in me nagged looking at me with a face that reminds me of the phrase 'if looks could kill'.
C'mon girl, it's your happiness that matters. The spoilt brat cheered as she gulped down some dark liquid from a glass.

"Hailey, you have some talking to do." Amber said worriedly as she came to sit by me on Lara's bed. I bet if Lara would bump in and see her on her bed, she'd totally forget about the fact that she's a vampire and strangle her to death.
"Katie died and instead of me to mourn with Lara and Cyndy, I forgot all about them and focused on my happiness. That's selfishness, isn't it?" I said as she listened attentively. That's another thing I really like about her. She gives me all her attention.
"Not entirely. Katie is dead, we're all sorry that happened, but you forfeiting your source of joy to mourn a dead body doesn't make you selfish. I understand you should be there for your friends but not to the extent of denying yourself what you need. I don't see why you're crying." She said shaking her head.
Well yeah, that could be true, but not entirely. I should be there for my friends no matter what. She's a vampire, a heartless being. A creature that knows no pain.
"You don't get it." I shook my head sadly.
"Yes I do" She replied and I felt anger boil within me.
"No you don't! You don't know anything about this! After all, you're a vampire. A creature that has no heart to feel pain. It's your blood sucking sister that brought all this up! You should have been a bit sympathetic to mourn with them or even show your regret but no. Here you are trying to tell me that avoiding my friends when they needed me was not a  crime. You're a vampire, a creature that knows no pain!" I cried as anger took over me. I was angry. Angry at her for being too considerate. I need to be screamed at and called a beast. I need to be rebuked. I'm angry at myself for shouting at her! I'm angry at everything.

"Hailey, I know pain. I was a human before. It took so much effort to make me a cheerful person after all I went through as a human. You lost a friend but I lost an entire family. The fact that we're vampires doesn't make us heartless and free from pain. We still feel pain. You can go ahead and apologize to her. I'm not against that." She said so calmly before walking out of the dorm.
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I hissed slapping my palm against my forehead. I stood up and paced. I don't know anything about Amber but I chose to accuse her wrongly. She lost a whole family and I lost a friend, just a friend that I'm not really close to. She went through a lot that I knew nothing about. I gritted my teeth and brushed my hand through my hair.
I feel like I would explode as I trembled with more tears. I fell on the ground with my fist clenched tightly.

"Amber?" I called to her as I stood behind her, her back facing me. She was sitting on her bed, watching outside through the opened door.
"Hey, Hailey!" She squealed and threw her arms around me before I could think.
"Ouch," I giggled as her rock hard body slammed against mine.
"Oh sorry. Next time I'll have to be careful." She giggled taking my hands and leading me to her bed.
"Thought you were avoiding me." I said after clearing my throat and making sure she won't pounce on me for shouting at her the other day.
"I was giving you space. I can't avoid you." She smiled rubbing my back gently and smiling sweetly.
"I'm sorry, Amber. I was—"
"How are you today?" She interrupted, her face expressionless.
"Really?" I smiled trying to avoid laughing but I burst out laughing heavily.
"I'm fine, Hailey, how are you too?" She smiled.
"I'm good." I smiled shaking my head.
"Good, there's no need to apologize to me. You were feeling guilty and you thought I stole you from Lara and her friend. That was why you fired. You wanted someone to agree with you." She smiled sadly taking my hands into her ice cold ones. I nodded and smiled hugely.
"Thank you, Amber. You're a very good friend." I smiled and she yanked her hands off quickly and looked like I'd slapped her.
"Friend? Hailey, I'm not your friend, I'm your sister." She said feigning anger but started laughing out loud with me when Lara came in. She glared at me shortly before walking to her bed. The smile quickly dried from my face. I nodded at Amber and walked to Lara.