I woke up the next morning sensitive to the light shining through the window. I groan as my head was pounding and it hurt to open my eyes. I open them and sit up in the bed I looked over and Will was just staring at me.

I didn't know what to say to him so I just get up and go to the restroom. I wash my face and realize I have no clothes to put on, so I grab my clothes from last night and put it on. I walk out of the restroom not sure what to say at all so I don't say anything.

The awkward silence was beginning to be to much for me after a little while. "I think I should go." I say to Will "Yeah because that is your answer to everything that gets hard right you just leave?" I knew he was pissed and I couldn't blame him for it.

"I don't know what you want me to say." "I want you to talk to me Alessa not run away like you have been because I can't deal with that. What the fuck were you thinking last night?" "I wasn't thinking, all I wanted to do was forget, I just wanted to forget about everything just for a little while."

"That's not good enough Alessa, you could have been hurt or worse by that guy. What if I hadn't gotten there when I did.  You just leave don't answer anyone's calls or text and then when you do answer your so fucked up we can't even understand what you're saying. That's not okay."

"I'm sorry I can't walk around here and just brush things off like you Will." I say to him getting angry now "You don't get to be mad at me this time Alessa you don't get to turn this back on me." I didn't know what to say so instead I start to walk out of the door.

As I open the door Will pushes it shut "You don't get to just leave again, I'm not letting you." "What is it you want me to say?" I yell at him as I fall to the floor and cry. "What do you want from me?" I bring my knees to my chest and put my head in my knees and cry.

"I love you, more then I have ever loved anyone and it hurts and it's confusing and I don't understand how I could love someone I barely know so much. I thought you were just going to be another hook up and I was going to keep going with my life.

I had it all planned out then Luke leaves and suddenly everything I thought I wanted seems wrong. Then you show up and you bring this light with you. It draws me in because that was what I wanted. I wanted that light back, even though all my instincts said don't fall for that again I do.

It's so much more then I imagined it would be, because I fall in love with this guy and he makes me happy. The pain it brings is also so much more then I imagined. Then Ellise shows up out of nowhere and all of a sudden I have no idea what I am doing anymore.

You two have a lot of history and chemistry and I watched you with her that night and it was clear to me that she still loves you and my world feels like it's crumbling beneath me. I can't go through that again not with you because I don't know if I can come back from it this time.

Then she shows up here and I know it's because she wants you back. It isn't a competition but I had already felt like I lost and I can't handle it. I don't understand how I let myself fall this far again. I don't know how to handle all of this, that is why I leave it's easier for me to walk away from it like it didn't happen."

"Alessa I am here, I am right here I am with you. I need you to know that the other night wasn't what it seemed to be. Yes I should have told her about you and I shouldn't have let her flirt with me but anytime she is around stuff like this happens and I didn't want that.

She loves or loved me and I couldn't give that back to her because I don't love her and maybe it is my fault she keeps coming back because she was an easy hook up and I would call her when I wanted to. I lead her on and that wasn't fair to her, but I don't want her.

You have to fight for the things you want and you have to work hard and I am doing that because I am here and I am touring and I'm doing what I love. It works the same way with people you love, you are worth so much more to me and I will not let you go without fighting for you. 

I can't be the only one fighting for it though, you keep walking away and every time you do it hurts me more and more and I can't handle that. I've had to learn to separate my personal life and my career so, I'm not just walking around here like nothing bothers me but I can't let it affect my career either.

So I need to know now that you are going to fight with me, or this is where it ends for us?"

Hearing him say these words hurt more then any of the things that have happened. Not because they were mean but because it was the truth, all I have shown him is that when things get hard I take a run for the hills. It isn't fair to him or to myself because it only means I am hurting myself.

I stare at him and see only how much I love him, I quickly move to him and kiss him. He holds me tight, "I will fight with you." I say to him between kisses. He kisses me harder and after a while we stop to breath. "I love you." He says to me "I love you too."

We finally get off of the floor "Alexa is probably so pissed at me." I say he nods his head at me and I try to figure out how it is that I managed to mess all this up. "I really need to get my stuff and change." I say "Okay well we can go and do that and then come back and you and Alexa can talk because Julian and I have interviews to get too."

I nod to him as we take off but when we get to the lobby Alexa and Julian are already down there. "We need to talk." Alexa says "I know." I put my head down "Well why don't you come back with me to go get my things from the other hotel, I know they have things to do." "Okay" is all she says.

"I will see you later." Will says as he hugs me "Hey Julian." I say to him and he turns around "I'm really sorry about last night." I say to him he smiles and hugs me "It's okay mate." He says to me before him and William take off.

Alexa and I make our way to the hotel I had my things at. I grab some clothes take a shower and get dressed. "What is going on with you?" Alexa finally says. "I don't know." I say looking at her "I really don't know."

"Yes you do." I look at her "I don't know what I'm doing anymore nothing makes sense to me. I feel like I'm lost in here and I'm not even sure I belong here in this world with Will."

"You need to figure it out Alessa because the way things are going it isn't going to go well.  I'm not just speaking for him, I'm talking about me too. " She said this and it only made me mad because I had been there for her when she did the exact same thing after Nick.

I stood with her when everyone else left. The one time I act out on my feelings and she tells me this and I am not happy about it. "So what you are saying to me right now is that if I don't straighten up you won't be my friend?"

"Yes because I can't deal with this." "Wow all these years of friendship and all the things I went through with you. The first time I act out on my feelings you say you won't be my friend anymore. I can see how much our friendship means to you."

"Alessa understand where I am coming from." This only pissed me off more that I yelled at her. "I do know where you are coming from two years ago I was where you were and not once did I ever leave your side when everyone else did because they couldn't put up with you!"

"I didn't ask you to do that for me." I laugh "You didn't have to Alexa because that is what family does for each other. You didn't need to ask because I knew you needed me and I wasn't going to let you go through that alone no matter how hard you tried to push me out.

I can see now how much I mean to you and I'm sorry that I'm such a problem for you. You can just see yourself out." I say as I start to cry I open the door "Alessa" She says as she tries to touch my arm but I move away from her. She puts her head down and walks out of the room.

I wasn't sure how long I sat there on the bed just staring at a blank space on the wall. My phone started ringing scaring me as I picked it up. It was Dom so I answered the phone "Hello?" "What happened?"

"What are you talking about?" "I'm talking about with you and Alexa." "Dom I know she told you already that's the only reason you are calling me. I messed up and she is telling me that if I don't straighten up she won't be my friend anymore. The one time I act out on my feelings and that's what she says to me.

When I was the only one there with her after Nick for a whole year Dom, I stayed by her side for a whole year as she started drinking and doing drugs.  Then she tells me she didn't ask me to do that for her. What I did was nothing compared to what she has done and not once did I ever think about leaving her side.

It's great to know that your best friend your sister doesn't think you are worth enough to keep around for messing up one time. I don't need her then." "You don't mean that." "I do mean it and I'm just done with her."

"Alessa you need to think about this some more." "As of right now I'm done Dom I have to go." I say as I hang up the phone even though I could hear him saying for me not to hang up.

I grabbed all my stuff not really sure where I was going I didn't want to go back to the hotel and I didn't want to be here so I went home. I was glad that no one was home there was no telling when my parents would be back.

I got the spare key and went inside straight to my old room. I laid in my bed and cried some more by the time I knew it I had fallen asleep. I woke up as I felt someone touch me "Alessa what are you doing here?" My mom says surprised.

"Um I just wanted to come home." I say to her not really sure what to say to her at all. "Maybe I should just go." I say as I start to get up "It's okay Alessa this is still your home." She says as she smiles at me.

She leaves the room and I start looking around at old pictures and medals and trophies. All of these things that I had done with Alexa and it only hurt to look at them. I looked at my phone and I had several missed calls and text from Will.

I called him back "Oh my gosh Alessa where are you?" "I'm sorry I didn't call I got into a huge fight with Alexa and I didn't want to go to the hotel so I came home and fell asleep. I just woke up I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you worry."

"I'm just glad to know that you are safe, and Alexa told us about what happened. She feels horrible about it." I didn't say anything "I will see you here in a minute." I say to him "Okay." I hang up the phone and make my way down stairs.

"Where are you going?" My mom asks "I'm just going to go back to the hotel and meet up with Will." I say to her "Alessa I just want to say that I am sorry about everything." "Me too." I say to her as I hug her "I would really like to see Will again and apologize to him." "Well we will be leaving soon so maybe we can sit down and have dinner tonight."

"Yes I would like that very much." She says I grab my things and make my way back to the hotel.