I could hear when Alexa got home she was talking to someone I could hear her. "She isn't doing so good." She says I could hear her coming down the hall and could hear her turning the knob of my door so I pretended like I was asleep. 

"Then why hasn't he called her or anything?" "That's not an excuse Julian if he really cared about her like you are saying then he would be here or something." "I haven't ever seen her this way and I don't know what I am supposed to do to help her." She closes the door and walks down to her room. I hugged my pillow tighter and finally fell back to sleep.

It had been almost two weeks now since everything happened but nothing with me had changed. I tried to find ways to keep my mind busy so I would't think about William. If I couldn't do that then I would just sleep, there really wasn't much of anything else. I wasn't ever hungry, Dom and Alexa would try to get me to eat.

I would just walk around New York City like I was a lost puppy or something nothing would help get William off my mind. It also didn't help that I had so many people wanting to take pictures of me and ask me questions. I was still hoping he would come for me show up and tell me that he loves me. Did he love me? I wasn't so sure of this, why didn't I just call him? I couldn't do that either. 

It was all my fault why this happened, I kept to myself not really wanting to talk or see any of my friends. All they wanted to do was try to cheer me up but that only seemed to make it worse. I only missed him more, I need to forget about him right? I couldn't forget about him my heart wouldn't let me.

What had I done? I really just wanted to forget about him because he had already forgotten me. He hadn't shown up here to come chase after me and so I needed to move on. I went home and when I got there Alessa was on the phone. 

"So when will you be here?" She says to someone she had to have been talking to Julian. I knew it was the last day of the tour for about a week then they would be in Australia. She turns to see me standing there "I have to go I will call you later." She says "You don't have to get off of the phone." I say to her, "I just" She doesn't know what to say "He is coming it's fine Alexa you don't need to hide that from me. When will he be here?" 

"He will be flying out tomorrow." She says that's great it will be good to see him." I say to her. "Alessa?" I shake my head at her as my eyes start to water, "No it's okay one of us deserves to be happy, you deserve that more then anyone else I know."

"I'm sorry Alessa." "Don't be it's isn't your fault it's mine." I say to her I walk out the door and decide to go to the University, I don't really know why I decided to come here but I did. I went to the book store decided to get the books I was going to need for next semester. 

I went to the school library not looking for anything but I grabbed a book and sat down on the table and started flipping through the pages. "Hey Alessa what are you doing here?" I turn to see Josh standing behind me. He walks over to the table and sits down across from me, I smile at him "I do go to school here." I say to him.

"I didn't mean it...I just meant that I thought you had taken the semester off and were away with your boyfriend." "I was but I am back now and I will be starting again next semester." I say to him "That's great it's good to see you." He says "Would you like to go out tomorrow?" I say to him. He smiles at me "Yes that would be great." "Great you can pick me up about 7:30." 

I say to him "See you then." He says as he gets up and leaves. I leave after that and go back home, Dom and Clarissa are there when I get there "Hey sis are you hungry I brought some food." He says "No I'm fine." I say to him I start walking to my room but he grabs my arm.

"Alessa you really need to eat something." He says to me I lie to him "I just finished eating Dom." I say to him "What did you eat?" "I ate some pizza with a friend from the University." I say to him. "Okay." He says, he stayed looking at me for a little while before he walked away. 

I went to my room and a little while later there was a knock on my door. "Come in." I say and Clarissa walks in. "Hey." She says "Hey" "How are you feeling?" "As good as I am going to feel I guess." "I'm sorry Alessa." I look at her "Don't be you didn't do anything, I did so it's no ones fault but mine."

"You didn't do anything wrong Alessa." "Yeah I did...I left him." "That doesn't make it your fault." "It doesn't matter he has made his choice and I have made mine, I'm moving on and I hope he does too." I say to her. "Alessa..." "I don't want to talk about it anymore, I am going to bed goodnight Clarissa." 

I say to her "Goodnight Alessa." She says as she gets up and leaves the room. I lay down as I start to cry and I try to hold it in but I can't. I finally fall asleep after a while.

When I woke up the next day it was almost 1 in the afternoon, it was the longest I had slept in a while. I got up and made my way to the kitchen there was note on the fridge from Alexa saying that she would see me after a while. 

I grabbed the cereal from the cabinet and a bowl, I poured the cereal in the bowl and I went to the fridge to get the milk and there wasn't any. "Great" I say out loud I leave the bowl of cereal out on the table as I just walk back to my room. 

I grab some clothes as I get in the shower and get ready so I can go get some groceries. I leave the house as I take my truck and go to the store, I looked at my list as I made my way around the store grabbing things that we needed. 

"Hey Alessa." Some girl says to me "Hey." I say back with a smile "Are you and William back here in New York before the Australian tour?" "Something like that." I say to her "I'm sorry I really have to go." I say to her I walk away and down another aisle, I grab the milk and head for the register.

I pay for my things and load everything into my car. I hadn't gotten on social media for the past couple of days, I got on before I left home. There was several people asking why they hadn't seen me at the last few shows of the European tour. There was videos of them asking William where I was, I stopped watching as I made my way home.

When I got to the house Alexa was there with Julian, "Hey mate it's really good to see you." He says as he hugs me tight. He helped me bring in the groceries and I put them away and then headed to my room. I stopped because I could hear them talking "She doesn't look so good." He say to Alexa.

"I told you Julian this is tearing her up." I walked into my room after that I didn't want to be here in the house. I still had a few hours before I got ready to go out with Josh. I decided to take a walk down to the park close to our house. I sat on the swing for a little while then I slowly made my way to the merry go round. 

I pushed myself and then I laid in the middle of it and closed my eyes as I spun around. All I could think about was William, I cried and finally I came to a stop. I just laid there and cried for a while, I finally got up and walked around the park.

I only had an hour and a half to get home and get ready to go out with Josh. I hurried home as I made my way to my room, I took a quick shower and got dressed did my hair and make up then I walked out of my room.

"Hey we...where are you going?" Alessa say "I am just going to go out with a friend." I say to her "What friend would that be?" "Josh." She sighs "Okay." She says as she walks past me and to her room. "Hey you look nice, are you going out with us?" Julian says I shake my head "You know he misses you." 

Julian says but quietly "No he doesn't." I say to him "This is tearing him up just like it is you." "Then where is he Julian? He isn't here and he hasn't called." The doorbell rings and I go and answer the door "Come in." I say to Josh "Let me just go grab my wallet." I say to him as I make my way to my room.

I come out of my room "Alessa." Julain says "It's doesn't matter anymore Julian." I say to him as I grab Joshes hand and walk out the door. "Is everything okay?" "Yes everything is great." I say as I smile at him, we ended up at Dave and Busters we had a few drinks ate some food and played games.

For a little while I was myself again, "So do you want to come back to my house?" Josh says to me and I say yes. We leave and go to Joshes house we sit around and have some more beers and talk. Then he kisses me and things start moving from there, the only thing I could think about was how wrong this felt to me.

My shirt was off and I just couldn't do it anymore, I push Josh away from me. "What's wrong?" "I'm sorry Josh I can't do this." I say to him "I thought this would help me move on but it doesn't feel right and I am sorry." I say to him.

"No it's fine let me take you home." "No, it's fine I just want to be alone." I say to him I grab my shirt of the floor and put it on. I grab all my things and leave I stop a cab and give them my address and they take me home.

I cried the whole way there, I was hoping that no one was home yet when I got there. The cab pulled up outside I paid the driver and got out and made my way to the door. I cried as I opened the door it was quiet so I was sure that Alexa and Julian were still gone. I went to my room and turned on the light there sitting on my bed was William.

He stands up fast as I lean against the wall and slide down to the floor and cry harder. He comes over to me and grabs me in his arms and he holds me. He holds me tight in his arms after a while he picks me up and lays me on the bed. 

"I am so sorry Alessa." He says to me through sobs and I hold on to him as tight as I can. After a while we are both just there not saying anything he is holding me. I finally get out of his arms and I make my way into the bathroom, I wash my face and change my clothes. I walk out and I sit on the edge of my bed.