I woke up the next morning because my phone was ringing. "Hello?" "Dom is coming home." "Wait what?" "Dom is coming home we will be there in a couple of hours." "Okay I Will go get things situated at Clarissa's."

My mom hung up the phone I got up pulled my hair up into a messy bun put on some shorts and a t-shirt. I hurried over to Clarissa's to change her bed sheets and things before they got here.

I couldn't stop thinking about last night and it was making me mad. I didn't want to be upset about the situation but I was. It was my fault for letting him back in even just a little bit because the hurt I was feeling I didn't want to feel again.

I needed to let him go completely and this only made me mad because for all these months I held on to him. The months of crying and how I was and my family just having to watch me be the way I was. It made me mad at myself for holding onto him, it was time that I let him go he had moved on and I needed to do the same.

I was going to go back to my house when I heard Will and Melissa arguing outside the door. "Why do you keep ignoring me about what happened?" "I'm not ignoring you I just don't think I need to answer your question."

"Yes you do William you at least owe me that, because for these past months we have been together I haven't really had you at all. It's all because of Alessa it's always about her. Anything happens and you are in a hurry to try and come fix it. You don't even do that for me."

"You know not everything is about you Melissa you think that everything needs to be and it doesn't." "No not where Alessa is concerned in your life right? I won't ever be as important to you as she is. The funny thing is she doesn't want you anymore and you still run back."

"Hey you don't know anything about her or what she wants you don't like her because of me but you know nothing about her." "So this is it then? Are we not going to talk about last night? Or anything? Is this it for us?" She says to him "We were dancing what more is there to talk about?"

He was mad I could hear it in his voice "That wasn't just dancing William and you know it wasn't. You still love her don't you?" "Of course I still love her Melissa I never stopped loving her."

"Did you ever love me?" "Yes I loved you just not the way I should have and I'm sorry for that." "She hurt you and you still want her." "I hurt her too and she still wanted me I just didn't give her a chance and I owe her that."

I couldn't hear anymore so I walked away from the door and just sat on the couch until Dom finally got home. We helped him into the bed and I made sure he was comfortable. "I will be back later to help them clean your cut okay. "

"Alessa?" "Yes?" "What's wrong?" "I thought I knew what I wanted with Will you told me to stop punishing myself and be his friend and I was so with that idea. Then last night we went out and he got jealous because I was dancing with this guy I knew from school. Then Melissa showed up and suddenly all the feelings I had about not wanting to accept him as a friend come back."

I put my face in my hands "Then I hear him and Melissa talking outside the door he told her he still loved me and that he always loved me. I just feel like he is to late now because I can't keep putting myself through this pain. I'm leaving in a few days what am I supposed to do?"

"I can't tell you what to do Alessa but I will tell you this figure it out soon before you leave don't leave wondering what if. You will be up there miserable thinking that you should have made a different choice. Talk to him Alessa but make sure you get everything out."

"Thank you Dom." "Hey and don't worry about me okay I'm going to be okay." "I'm always going to worry about you Dom you're my brother." He smiles at me "I'll be back later." He nods to me as I leave the room mom and Clarissa were in the kitchen "I'll be back later to put a new dressing on his cut."

They both smile at me I go back to the apartment Will was sitting in the kitchen "Where are Alexa and Julian?" "They went to go get stuff for Dom." He sighs and takes a deep breath "Alessa we need to talk."

I didn't say anything I just sat down at the table "I know last night was confusing because it was for me. The thing about it was that I hadn't seen you with another guy not even after I got with Melissa. I think some part of me was always glad that you hadn't moved on. That's really selfish of me because I did, I moved on because I was mad at you and I figured if I moved on it would help me get over you. The thing is you are who I want and now you are leaving and I won't ask you to stay.  I will ask you this, do you still love me like you did before?"

"I can't do this Will. Why are you doing this? I waited for months for you to tell me you wanted me and for month there was nothing. You say I'm who you want but you moved on, because you wanted to get over me. I'm sorry that I fucked all of this up, I'm so sorry but your the one who left and moved on. I told you I still loved you that night at the club and you made your choice then."

"I was hurt Alessa, I couldn't get over how much you had hurt me so yes I made a choice that night because I couldn't forgive you for hurting me like you did. I wanted you to feel the pain I was feeling too. It was a way for me to cope with that pain I felt and having Melissa there made it a little easier. I just wanted it to go away but it didn't because I didn't have you."

"I'm glad she could do something for you that I couldn't you deserved that Will because your right I did hurt you and I regret that every day since it happened. The thing is Will I had already felt that pain before but you wanted me to hurt more why? I don't understand that at all. You really accomplished that one because every day since that night at the club hurt like hell. It hurt so bad that I just wanted to give up it was literally making me sick because I couldn't deal with the pain. I couldn't eat, I couldnt sleep, I totally cut myself off from everyone because I couldn't get over you. I still can't get over you but it hurts to much, all of this hurts."

"What are you saying?" "Last night was a set back for me Will, I thought because you were around the hole in my chest was getting better that I could just be your friend. I wouldn't hurt so much because at least you were in my life some kind of way. Then you tell me you didn't like seeing me dancing with that guy and you miss me and I wanted to jump in your arms but it didn't feel right to me. Then Melissa showed up and that was it, she was why it didn't feel right. I know you love her because I heard you two this morning outside the door. I thought I was going to be okay I really wanted to be okay but I'm not. You love her Will and that means the love you have for me has changed."

I wiped the tears running down my cheeks "All I want is for you to be happy even if that means it's not with me. I just want this pain to go away I want it all to go away." "You don't love me anymore? "Of course I love you probably more now then ever but loving you hurts Will, it hurts so bad I can't keep doing this to myself. I let you back in just the tiniest bit and it hurts."

"Then let me make the pain go away Alessa I am here and I want to be with you because I love you more then anything I would do this all over again because I know I have you. Yes I loved Melissa because she made some of my pain go away but it was never going to go away completely because I didn't have you. The yearning for you only made it hurt more because my heart only wants you. It was always you Alessa, it is always going to be you that I want because everything in my life is so much better because I have you. You have my heart you have always had my heart I know you know that and you can't tell me you don't."

The tear were running down my face like a water fall and my chest hurt I hadn't even seen him walk over to me. He turned me towards him and wiped the tears from my face. They just kept falling, he didn't move his hands "Alessa please say something."

I gripped onto his shirt "I'm sorry." I finally get up and walk away from him but he comes after me he grabs my arms and makes me face him. "You can't run away from this Alessa I'm not letting you, not this time."

"I can't." "You can't what?" I couldn't form words to say anything I was confused, my emotions were everywhere and I couldn't think. He grips the side of my shoulders "Alessa!" He half shouts at me but all I could do was cry more. He wraps me in his arms and hold me tight and grip onto the back of his shirt as I cry into him.

I had no idea how I felt about all this and it had only made things harder now.  I was so lost at this point I was just so confused about everything. I was hurt and sad and mad and I just wanted it all to go away. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and at the same time I wanted to run away from him.

I was leaving in a few days and I hadn't figured anything out if anything it was worse now. All these month I waited for him to tell me these things and now I just didn't know anymore. Things just got a whole lot harder for me now and I didn't like it. Why had I let him back in even just a little? The answer was pretty simple for me because I loved him and it was my love for him that caused all of this in the first place.

I loved him to much, was it even possible to love someone to much? Maybe it was the love we had for each other that was our biggest down fall. Maybe it was because I had just gotten so caught up in it all that I lost myself. There were so many thoughts and questions and I couldn't sort them all out and I had no answers either.

I let all the feelings in the past few months consume me. It had broken me down into tiny pieces and I wouldn't be able to put all the pieces back together. I had no idea who I was anymore, it scared me.

"I'm scared." I say out loud and he holds me tighter in his arms. I lost myself somewhere in all of this crazy mess, and I needed to find myself again. Will held onto me like he would lose me any minute. The thing about it is that I wanted to be better for him but in order for me to so that I needed to be better for me first.

I loved him I knew that much and my love for him wouldn't go go away. I didn't know if I could let him back in. I was just so confused more then ever at this point. I thought I would come over here and have everything figured out. I have nothing figured out everything only seems to be worse.

My heart, by head and my feelings just didn't agree with each other and it was hurting me.